The heaviness you feel right now is not a sign that God has abandoned you. The very tears you cry each day are known to Him, and the broken heart you carry is the kind of sacrifice He will never despise. When you cannot get out of bed and the darkness presses in, He does not stand far off demanding you fix yourself first. He draws near to the crushed spirit. That promise remains true even when your feelings scream the opposite.
Breaking your fast has left you feeling defeated, but consider what the fast is really meant to be. It was never designed to obligate God or to prove your own spiritual strength. The fast He desires loosens burdens and turns your heart toward Him in honest need. You are not disqualified because you stumbled. You are exactly where a contrite heart begins to call upon Him. Acknowledge the struggle honestly before Him, not to wallow in guilt, but because confession is the road back. If you confess, He is faithful to cleanse and restore. He does not require you to have perfect consistency. He asks for a broken spirit that knows it has nowhere else to go.
You said you feel alone, yet you also sense the conviction to pick the fast back up. That quiet pull is not your own imagination. It is the Shepherd calling one of His sheep who feels driven far from the flock. From the end of the earth you can cry to Him, and there is no place so distant that His ear is shut to you. He never sleeps. You do not have to climb back to some high spiritual ground before you speak. Cry out from the depth of the bed you cannot leave. Tell Him you have no strength. That is the very confession He is waiting for, because when you finally stop trying to cope in your own ability, His power has room to work.
Depression often comes when we try to solve what only God can handle or when we put our hope in our own capacity to be faithful. David faced times when it seemed God had cast him off, when enemies pressed in and circumstances shouted only defeat. Yet he kept turning back to what God had promised, not to what his emotions reported. In your own heart you can do the same. God has not promised to spare you from every affliction. In fact, many are the afflictions of the righteous. But He has promised to be your strength in the middle of them, to lead you by His light and truth when you do not know which way to turn.
If you continue to wait upon your own feelings to line up, you will stay stuck. But God will wait too, in a different sense. He will wait in patient grace until you are so desperate that you are forced to call upon Him from the end of yourself. That is not cruelty. That is a mercy that strips away every false support so that you finally cling only to Him. Consider this season an opportunity to let go of all pretense and simply trust. You can say with the psalmist, "I will put my trust in God. I will not fear what flesh can do to me." That includes what your own weary flesh and mind are doing to you right now.
Turn your heart toward His promises when the discouragement surges. You may feel far from the land of promise, but your Deliverer is making a way through the deep waters. The same arm that split the sea is not too short to reach into your bedroom. You do not have to manufacture strength. You have to receive it from the God who gives power to His people. The cry "Make haste, O God, to help me" is a perfectly valid prayer when everything within you wants to give up. He does not rebuke the urgency. He answers with Himself.
Rise, if only in spirit, and bless the God who remains your strength even when your own has utterly failed. He is the one who delivers from death and who keeps your feet from falling so you can walk before Him in the light of the living. Let your mind dwell on His glory rather than on the net you feel tightening around your steps. Getting your eyes back on God is the surest remedy for the blues, for despair, for the feeling that you are alone. He is with you now, and He will be with you when you attempt to continue the fast. Move forward not in a panic to earn approval, but in the quiet confidence that His own strength will carry what your frail hands cannot hold.