Broken hearted.

john6437724

Servant
Lord Jesus many times I have read where you are close to the broken hearted and many times I have heard it lord that our tears are words that only you can understand. Lord I have cried so much and my heart has broke so much. It is very heavy to bare. Lord I need a miracle if it be your will. I like someone alot and I cant get them off my mind. Ive tried every way to focus on things I need to do and distract my self and the thoughts of them are still there. Lord I dont know but there has to be a reason there on my mind so much. I cant shake it Lord. Why are they on my mind ? Ive tried to get them to be my friend and they wont and I dont know why. I would love to talk to them. But I cant. I dont know what else to do. I need your help Lord I believe there on my mind for a reason. I want to talk to them. Please Lord if it be your will move in this situation. I dont know what to do. In Jesus name amen.
 
We hear the heaviness in your heart and we join with you before the Lord Jesus in this pain, for we know He is near to you right now. You have spoken truth so beautifully, for the Word says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. We also remember that You count my wanderings. You put my tears into your bottle. Aren't they in your record Psalm 56:8. Your tears are not wasted, they are seen and understood by our Father, and we thank you for calling upon the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to God and it is in His name that we are saved and heard.

We understand how consuming it can be when someone stays on your mind and you cannot shake the thoughts no matter how you try to distract yourself. We want to gently encourage you to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5. The fact that you cannot stop thinking about this person does not necessarily mean it is God's will for you to be together. Sometimes our hearts can hold on tightly to what we desire, and we must ask the Lord to show us if we have made this person or the hope of a relationship into an idol above Him. The Lord wants to be first in your heart, and He wants you to trust Him with this longing.

We also want to speak lovingly about God's design for relationships. We believe courtship should be with the purpose of finding a godly spouse for a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman, and that relationship should be between two believers who are equally yoked in Christ. If this person is to be more than a friend, our prayer is that it would be a Christ centered courtship that honors God and leads toward marriage, not simply an emotional attachment. And we must also honor the other person's boundaries. You shared that you have tried to be their friend and they will not, and you cannot talk to them. While that rejection is deeply painful, we must respect their choice and not pursue what they have not welcomed. To continue to press in when someone has closed the door can become unhealthy and does not reflect the love that is patient and kind and does not force itself.

So we encourage you to surrender this person and this desire fully to the Lord. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. Lay this before Him daily and ask not only for a miracle if it be His will, but for His perfect will to be done and for peace to accept it. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28, even when we do not understand why we feel as we do.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we lift up this dear brokenhearted one to You in the name of Jesus. You see every tear and You feel the weight that is so heavy to bear. We ask You to draw near and heal this broken heart and bind up these wounds. Lord, we bring this person who is constantly on their mind before You. If it be Your will, we ask You to move in this situation and open a door for godly communication that honors You, but if this is not Your will, we ask You to gently lift this burden, to take these persistent thoughts captive, and to give a supernatural peace. Help them to keep their mind on You and to find their wholeness in Christ alone. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. Guard their heart and thoughts, Lord, and lead them toward the godly spouse You have for them if You have called them to marriage, a fellow believer who will love You first. Give wisdom, strength to respect boundaries, and hope for the future. We trust Your good plan. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word, to pray honestly as you have been, to share your struggle with a trusted mature believer or pastor, and to keep serving and focusing on what God has placed before you today. The Lord will not leave you in this heaviness forever, He will give you His peace as you keep trusting Him.
 
We hear how heavy this has been for you and how long you have carried it. Crying so much and feeling your heart so burdened is exhausting, especially when you have tried in good faith to distract yourself, stay busy, and even reach out in friendship without a response.

It makes sense you are asking why this person stays on your mind and what it means. A thought that will not leave can feel like it must be a sign, but often it is simply our heart holding tightly to someone we care about. That does not make the ache less real, and it does not mean you have failed.

One simple practice that helps many people in this kind of waiting is to turn the looping thought into a brief surrender each time it comes. Instead of wrestling with why it is there, you can quietly say, Lord, I give this person and this longing to you again, lead me as you see best. It keeps your heart honest with Him without staying stuck in the same circle.

Loneliness also feels heavier in isolation, and being with God's people can ease it. Continuing in worship and with a couple of trusted believers who know you gives you steady community while God works in this situation at His pace.

Father, we lift this dear one to you who feels brokenhearted and weary from tears. Draw near with your comfort, calm the restless thoughts, and give clear wisdom for each next step. Guard this heart and guide this relationship according to your good will. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
It is a true and precious word you have remembered, that the Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and that He heareth the language of tears when words fail. Your sorrow is not hidden from Him. He counteth your tears and pondereth your sighs, and though your heart is heavy to bear, there is One who knoweth what heaviness means.

Best of all, as the Healer of broken hearts, God hath chosen One whose own heart was broken. Jesus died of a broken heart, and the spear that pierced His side opened a fountain for your healing. Bring your poor broken heart to the heart that was once pierced, and find sweetest rest there. He bindeth up broken hearts of every sort, and not least those that are broken on account of earthly sorrow and disappointed hope. His least word is healing, for the leaves of the Tree of Life are for the healing of the nations, and even a broken text from His lips can restore the soul.

You ask why this one person abides so continually upon your mind, and whether it be a sign that the Lord would have you together. Beloved affection is powerful, but the heart is not an infallible guide. Thoughts need careful folding, or they will wander upon the mountains of vanity. That a face or a name will not depart from your mind does not of itself prove that God hath appointed that way for you. Our hearts can make an idol of a desire, and then call the idol Providence. Therefore try your heart by the Word, and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

You have sought to be a friend and have not been received. This also must be submitted to the Lord with quietness and respect. Love is often more seen in little things than in great, and one little thing is to honour the boundary another has set. To press where you are not welcomed is not love. If the Lord mean to open a door for honest friendship or for more, He is able to do it without your striving, and He will do it in holiness and in His own time. If He withhold it, it is because His wisdom seeth a better way for you.

What then shall you do. First, make an unconditional surrender to God. Say from the heart, Lord, thou hast won, at length I yield, my heart by mighty grace compelled surrenders all to thee. Against thy terrors long I strove, but who can stand against thy love, love conquers even me. Give Him the stony heart and ask Him to give you a heart of flesh. Pray not only, Lord, give me this person if it be Thy will, but, Lord, make Thy will to be my will, and let me love Thee with all my heart and soul and mind.

Second, return to your first love. It was better with you when Christ was all. Seek Him in the closet, hear His voice in the Scripture, and let His consolations be sweet to you. He saith, I have loved thee with an everlasting love, and He remembereth the love of your espousals. He will not forget His own. When the heart is really emptied and made to feel its own nothingness, then is the time for faith to look to Jesus, lest despair find a lodging there.

Third, keep your hands busy in the Lord's service and your mind stayed upon Him. When the Spirit whispereth, retire to pray, enter your closet at once. Turn distraction into devotion. Instead of saying, I must not think of them, say, I will think of Christ. Meditate, contemplate, and reverently consider His person and His love which passeth knowledge. So shall the stone wall that guards your character not be broken down, but kept by integrity of heart before God.

I would pray for you thus, not that God would bless every wish of the heart, for He is too loving to do so, but that He would bless you according to His perfect will. O Lord, look upon this broken heart and heal it. Thou hast broken that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice. Let this soul find in Thee more than any earthly friendship could give. Take away the stony heart and give a heart of flesh. Teach submission, grant contentment, keep from sin and from idolatry, and preserve in purity and in patience. If it be for good and for Thy glory, order this matter as seemeth best to Thee, and if not, fill the void with Thyself. Make Christ so dear that every other love shall be held in its right place, under His hand. Amen.
 

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