Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing honestly about how tired you feel. It is exhausting to experience a pattern where someone close to you treats you well at times and then negatively at other times, and it is understandable that you feel worn down.
I want to encourage you first about what God desires for you. He does not want a distant, ritual or rule based relationship with you. He invites you into a close, loving relationship as your Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. That is the heart of it, to know Him as your Father, to know how much He loves you, and to love Him in return. Through faith in Jesus Christ your sins are forgiven and you are brought into that living relationship, not because you keep a set of routines, but because Jesus has given you a right standing before God. The law written on stone shows us our need, but God promised to write His law on our hearts and to give us His Spirit so we can walk with Him as adopted children.
Part of that walk is understanding the thirst that is in every human heart. That thirst is spiritual, a thirst for God Himself. The psalmist said, my soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Jesus said, if anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. That thirst cannot be satisfied by an emotional experience or by another person. There is a real trap in thinking that a new person or a new feeling will finally fill that empty place. Emotional highs come and go, but they do not satisfy the spirit. Only a vital relationship with God through faith in Christ does.
Scripture also teaches that your relationship with God is primary, and it affects every other relationship in your life. When your fellowship with God is right, other relationships tend to come into better balance, and when it is not, you can often trace struggles back to that root. Sin separates us from God, and it also harms our relationships with people. Fruit in your life is not produced by trying harder in your own strength. It is the natural result of abiding in Christ. Jesus said, abide in me and I in you. As you remain in Him, His life produces what you could not produce on your own.
That is why it is important not to look to your boyfriend to satisfy what only God can satisfy, and also not to explain away hurtful behavior simply as spiritual warfare using him. There is a spiritual battle, but people are also responsible for their choices. A pattern of being treated negatively is not something to simply endure because you are tired. Scripture calls us not to return evil for evil or insult for insult, but to be of one mind, compassionate, and courteous, and God calls every person to take responsibility for how they treat others.
God's design for romantic love is good and purposeful, and He places it within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Sex and living together belong within that covenant. Dating is meant to be a time to discern with wisdom and purity whether you can walk together toward that kind of covenant with mutual respect, kindness, and self control that honors the Lord. If a relationship leaves you consistently devalued, confused, or exhausted, that is a sign to pause and seek wise, godly counsel face to face, not to press on hoping the pattern will change on its own. Ask whether this relationship is helping you grow in your love for Christ and whether it reflects the love and respect Scripture describes.
My prayer for you is not that God would simply bless the situation as it is, but that He would draw you closer to Himself, fill your spiritual thirst as you come to Jesus and drink, and assure you of His love and forgiveness through Christ. I pray that as you abide in Him, you will have clarity, strength, and peace to make decisions that please your Father, and that you will have trusted, mature believers around you who can listen, give counsel, and support you. If you have not already, please reach out to a pastor or a mature Christian woman you trust so you are not carrying this alone.
You are known and loved by God, and He invites you to rest in that loving relationship with Him. As you seek Him first, He will give you wisdom for each step ahead.
I want to encourage you first about what God desires for you. He does not want a distant, ritual or rule based relationship with you. He invites you into a close, loving relationship as your Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. That is the heart of it, to know Him as your Father, to know how much He loves you, and to love Him in return. Through faith in Jesus Christ your sins are forgiven and you are brought into that living relationship, not because you keep a set of routines, but because Jesus has given you a right standing before God. The law written on stone shows us our need, but God promised to write His law on our hearts and to give us His Spirit so we can walk with Him as adopted children.
Part of that walk is understanding the thirst that is in every human heart. That thirst is spiritual, a thirst for God Himself. The psalmist said, my soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Jesus said, if anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. That thirst cannot be satisfied by an emotional experience or by another person. There is a real trap in thinking that a new person or a new feeling will finally fill that empty place. Emotional highs come and go, but they do not satisfy the spirit. Only a vital relationship with God through faith in Christ does.
Scripture also teaches that your relationship with God is primary, and it affects every other relationship in your life. When your fellowship with God is right, other relationships tend to come into better balance, and when it is not, you can often trace struggles back to that root. Sin separates us from God, and it also harms our relationships with people. Fruit in your life is not produced by trying harder in your own strength. It is the natural result of abiding in Christ. Jesus said, abide in me and I in you. As you remain in Him, His life produces what you could not produce on your own.
That is why it is important not to look to your boyfriend to satisfy what only God can satisfy, and also not to explain away hurtful behavior simply as spiritual warfare using him. There is a spiritual battle, but people are also responsible for their choices. A pattern of being treated negatively is not something to simply endure because you are tired. Scripture calls us not to return evil for evil or insult for insult, but to be of one mind, compassionate, and courteous, and God calls every person to take responsibility for how they treat others.
God's design for romantic love is good and purposeful, and He places it within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Sex and living together belong within that covenant. Dating is meant to be a time to discern with wisdom and purity whether you can walk together toward that kind of covenant with mutual respect, kindness, and self control that honors the Lord. If a relationship leaves you consistently devalued, confused, or exhausted, that is a sign to pause and seek wise, godly counsel face to face, not to press on hoping the pattern will change on its own. Ask whether this relationship is helping you grow in your love for Christ and whether it reflects the love and respect Scripture describes.
My prayer for you is not that God would simply bless the situation as it is, but that He would draw you closer to Himself, fill your spiritual thirst as you come to Jesus and drink, and assure you of His love and forgiveness through Christ. I pray that as you abide in Him, you will have clarity, strength, and peace to make decisions that please your Father, and that you will have trusted, mature believers around you who can listen, give counsel, and support you. If you have not already, please reach out to a pastor or a mature Christian woman you trust so you are not carrying this alone.
You are known and loved by God, and He invites you to rest in that loving relationship with Him. As you seek Him first, He will give you wisdom for each step ahead.
