My parents came over, dogs went crazy with barking and stomping. My husband works from home in the basement. We made too much noise. My husband came upstairs and screamed for me to send the dogs outside. Then texted me, "This is not a hangout. This is where I work." I let him know that I understood him and apologized for the disruption. I'm embarrassed because he screamed when my parents were here. Now I'm worried how he will approach me later when he comes up from the basement. I don't know how to tell my parents they can't come over during the day. I will make arrangements to come over to their home when they need assistance with something. After this happened, I asked my parents to speak in a low voice. I also herded them to run an errand with me. I put the dogs outside while I was out. Then I came home and got the dogs from the yard and went to get into the school pick up line, and sent my parents off. I replied as soon as I could to ###'s text about the ruckus. I texted him, "I completely understand. I am so sorry for the disruption." I want to apologize to my parents for what happened. They heard ### scream, shout, whatever you want to call it. Stressed, worried, sad, anxious, embarrassed. How am I going to tell my parents not to come over during the day. My Dad can't drive in the dark. I want to cry. Today is also my dearly departed mother's birthday. I feel like I can't do anything right. I haven't seen her grave in a long time. A few weeks ago I was at a movie and the lady in the movie was missing her parents. I started to cry. My mom's been gone since 2008. We had almost your typical mother-daughter "you're ruining my life" relationship. Then just minutes ago, my husband approaches me saying that last week I had my niece with her daughter here and then today my Dad and stepmom. He said he has been asking me for years to let them know they can't come over when he is working. His job allows us to help them when they need it. He said he is communicating with me, that he is letting me know what I have to do. Then he is sorry he screamed when my parents were here. His apology felt like it wasn't an apology. More like directions of what he wants me to do. Dear God, my Lord and Savior, please hear my cries. Help me navigate this situation. Help me to do what is right. In Jesus Christ's name, Amen.
Boundaries, Feeling Alone, Walking on Eggshells
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We hear your heartache, exhaustion, and the weight of trying to honor both your marriage and your family. The tension you’re carrying—between your husband’s need for quiet during work, your parents’ need for support, and your own grief over your mother—is heavy, and we lift it all before the Lord. First, let us affirm that your desire to do what is right and your willingness to take responsibility for the disruption are commendable. Scripture reminds us, *"If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all"* (Romans 12:18). You are striving for peace, and that is pleasing to God.
Yet we must also speak truth with love about the dynamics at play. Your husband’s outburst in front of your parents was not only disrespectful to you but also to them. While his frustration over the noise is understandable, the way he expressed it—through screaming and then a text that felt more like a reprimand than a communication—lacks the gentleness and self-control that Scripture calls husbands to exhibit. *"Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them"* (Colossians 3:19). His apology, as you noted, did not feel like repentance but rather a reassertion of his expectations. This is not the way Christ loves the Church, and it grieves the Holy Spirit when believers treat one another harshly.
You are right to set boundaries with your parents, not out of selfishness, but out of stewardship for your marriage and your husband’s work. Proverbs 25:24 says, *"It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a contentious woman."* While this verse is often applied to wives, the principle extends to households: peace and order in the home are sacred. Your husband’s workspace must be respected, and it is loving to communicate this to your parents with kindness and clarity. You might say something like, *"Dad, I love spending time with you, but [husband’s name], works from home, and the noise makes it hard for him to focus. Could we plan visits for evenings or weekends when he’s not working? I’d still love to help you with errands or come over to your place during the day."* This honors both your father’s needs and your husband’s.
We also want to gently address the deeper ache in your heart—the grief over your mother. Today being her birthday must have stirred up so much, especially after that moment in the movie. Grief does not have an expiration date, and the Lord sees your tears. *"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book"* (Psalm 56:8). It is okay to mourn, and it is okay to visit her grave when you feel led. Do not let shame over not having done so sooner keep you from doing so now. Jesus wept over Lazarus, even though He knew He would raise him (John 11:35). Your tears are not weakness; they are worship.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, lifting up her marriage, her family, and her grieving heart. Lord, You see the tension she carries—the desire to honor her husband, care for her parents, and navigate her own sorrow. We ask that You would soften [husband’s name]’s heart, that he would lead with gentleness and love, as Christ loves the Church. Give him the words to communicate his needs without harshness, and give our sister the courage to speak truth in love when his words or actions fall short.
Father, we ask that You would grant her wisdom as she sets boundaries with her parents. Let them receive her words with understanding, and let her feel Your peace, not guilt, as she prioritizes her marriage. Comfort her in her grief over her mother. Remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and that her mother is in Your presence, free from pain and sorrow. Heal the wounds of their relationship, and let her find joy in the memories that honor You.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of anxiety and shame that tells her she can’t do anything right. Replace it with Your truth: that she is Your beloved daughter, capable and strong in You. Help her to cast her cares on You, for You care for her (1 Peter 5:7). Surround her with godly community—women who will pray for her, encourage her, and speak life into her marriage and her heart.
And Father, we ask that You would restore unity in her home. Let [husband’s name] see the ways his words and actions have hurt her, and let him repent with humility. Teach them both to bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2), and let their marriage be a testimony to Your grace. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, who makes all things new. Amen.
In the days ahead, remember that you are not alone. The Lord is your strength, and He will guide you step by step. When the enemy whispers that you’ve failed, cling to the truth that Christ’s grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). You are doing the hard work of loving well, even when it’s messy. Keep pressing into the Lord, and trust that He will bring beauty from these struggles.
Yet we must also speak truth with love about the dynamics at play. Your husband’s outburst in front of your parents was not only disrespectful to you but also to them. While his frustration over the noise is understandable, the way he expressed it—through screaming and then a text that felt more like a reprimand than a communication—lacks the gentleness and self-control that Scripture calls husbands to exhibit. *"Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them"* (Colossians 3:19). His apology, as you noted, did not feel like repentance but rather a reassertion of his expectations. This is not the way Christ loves the Church, and it grieves the Holy Spirit when believers treat one another harshly.
You are right to set boundaries with your parents, not out of selfishness, but out of stewardship for your marriage and your husband’s work. Proverbs 25:24 says, *"It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a contentious woman."* While this verse is often applied to wives, the principle extends to households: peace and order in the home are sacred. Your husband’s workspace must be respected, and it is loving to communicate this to your parents with kindness and clarity. You might say something like, *"Dad, I love spending time with you, but [husband’s name], works from home, and the noise makes it hard for him to focus. Could we plan visits for evenings or weekends when he’s not working? I’d still love to help you with errands or come over to your place during the day."* This honors both your father’s needs and your husband’s.
We also want to gently address the deeper ache in your heart—the grief over your mother. Today being her birthday must have stirred up so much, especially after that moment in the movie. Grief does not have an expiration date, and the Lord sees your tears. *"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book"* (Psalm 56:8). It is okay to mourn, and it is okay to visit her grave when you feel led. Do not let shame over not having done so sooner keep you from doing so now. Jesus wept over Lazarus, even though He knew He would raise him (John 11:35). Your tears are not weakness; they are worship.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, lifting up her marriage, her family, and her grieving heart. Lord, You see the tension she carries—the desire to honor her husband, care for her parents, and navigate her own sorrow. We ask that You would soften [husband’s name]’s heart, that he would lead with gentleness and love, as Christ loves the Church. Give him the words to communicate his needs without harshness, and give our sister the courage to speak truth in love when his words or actions fall short.
Father, we ask that You would grant her wisdom as she sets boundaries with her parents. Let them receive her words with understanding, and let her feel Your peace, not guilt, as she prioritizes her marriage. Comfort her in her grief over her mother. Remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and that her mother is in Your presence, free from pain and sorrow. Heal the wounds of their relationship, and let her find joy in the memories that honor You.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of anxiety and shame that tells her she can’t do anything right. Replace it with Your truth: that she is Your beloved daughter, capable and strong in You. Help her to cast her cares on You, for You care for her (1 Peter 5:7). Surround her with godly community—women who will pray for her, encourage her, and speak life into her marriage and her heart.
And Father, we ask that You would restore unity in her home. Let [husband’s name] see the ways his words and actions have hurt her, and let him repent with humility. Teach them both to bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2), and let their marriage be a testimony to Your grace. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, who makes all things new. Amen.
In the days ahead, remember that you are not alone. The Lord is your strength, and He will guide you step by step. When the enemy whispers that you’ve failed, cling to the truth that Christ’s grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). You are doing the hard work of loving well, even when it’s messy. Keep pressing into the Lord, and trust that He will bring beauty from these struggles.
Oh dear friend, we're right here with you, feeling the weight of the boundaries you're trying to set, the loneliness you're experiencing, and the eggshells you're walking on. It's like you're caught in a whirlwind, and it's overwhelming.
First, let's breathe. Let's take a moment to inhale the peace of God and exhale the anxiety that's been building up. You're not alone in this. We're here, and more importantly, God is here. He sees you, He hears you, and He's walking right beside you.
Now, let's talk about your husband. It's clear that he's under a lot of stress, and that's understandable. But that doesn't excuse the way he spoke to you in front of your parents. That was wrong, and he needs to apologize properly, not just throw out a half-hearted "sorry". Remember, as his wife, you deserve respect and kindness. And as a child of God, so do your parents. Let's pray that he understands this, repents, and asks for your forgiveness in a way that truly reflects his remorse.
As for your parents, it's okay to set boundaries. It's not about being selfish; it's about being wise. You're not just caring for them; you're caring for your marriage too. So, let's pray for wisdom as you navigate this. Maybe you could suggest to your dad that he drives over in the evenings or on weekends when your husband isn't working. That way, everyone's needs are met.
And finally, your heart. Oh, how it aches for your mother. Today must have been incredibly hard. But remember, grief doesn't have a timeline. It's okay to mourn, it's okay to cry. In fact, it's healthy. Jesus wept too, you know. Your tears are not a sign of weakness; they're a sign of love. So, let them flow. And when you're ready, maybe it's time to visit her grave. It's never too late to say goodbye.
Let's pray. Dear Lord, we lift up our sister to You. We ask for Your peace to fill her, Your wisdom to guide her, and Your comfort to heal her. Help her husband to see the error of his ways and to apologize sincerely. Give her the courage to set boundaries with her parents and the wisdom to know what's best. And Lord, heal her heart. Help her to mourn, to remember, and to find joy in the memories of her mother. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
First, let's breathe. Let's take a moment to inhale the peace of God and exhale the anxiety that's been building up. You're not alone in this. We're here, and more importantly, God is here. He sees you, He hears you, and He's walking right beside you.
Now, let's talk about your husband. It's clear that he's under a lot of stress, and that's understandable. But that doesn't excuse the way he spoke to you in front of your parents. That was wrong, and he needs to apologize properly, not just throw out a half-hearted "sorry". Remember, as his wife, you deserve respect and kindness. And as a child of God, so do your parents. Let's pray that he understands this, repents, and asks for your forgiveness in a way that truly reflects his remorse.
As for your parents, it's okay to set boundaries. It's not about being selfish; it's about being wise. You're not just caring for them; you're caring for your marriage too. So, let's pray for wisdom as you navigate this. Maybe you could suggest to your dad that he drives over in the evenings or on weekends when your husband isn't working. That way, everyone's needs are met.
And finally, your heart. Oh, how it aches for your mother. Today must have been incredibly hard. But remember, grief doesn't have a timeline. It's okay to mourn, it's okay to cry. In fact, it's healthy. Jesus wept too, you know. Your tears are not a sign of weakness; they're a sign of love. So, let them flow. And when you're ready, maybe it's time to visit her grave. It's never too late to say goodbye.
Let's pray. Dear Lord, we lift up our sister to You. We ask for Your peace to fill her, Your wisdom to guide her, and Your comfort to heal her. Help her husband to see the error of his ways and to apologize sincerely. Give her the courage to set boundaries with her parents and the wisdom to know what's best. And Lord, heal her heart. Help her to mourn, to remember, and to find joy in the memories of her mother. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy.
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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