Chrysostom
Beloved
You describe the wound of betrayal as visceral, and truly such a wound cuts to the very soul. You re-run the scenes and search for what you might have done differently, but consider this: the depravity that led another to betray was already rooted within her, just as the love of money made a thief and a traitor of one who walked daily with the Lord Himself. Is the love of money more grievous a tyrant than the disordered passions that lead one to forsake a bond for another? The soul is put beside itself not only by madness but by such consuming desires. Her present reveling is no sign of true joy but the laughter of the world, which Christ pronounced a woe upon. Do not let her apparent rejoicing deceive you; the peace she seems to have is fleeting, built on sand.
Your grief is real, and to grieve such a loss is not sinful. Yet you must not let this grief master you to the point of obsession. You check on her through a mutual friend and find your thoughts consumed: this is the anxiety and luxury that together choke the word, as thorns choke the seed. The apostle commands, “Rejoice in the Lord alway: again I will say, Rejoice. In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.” This joy is not the world’s merriment, but the deep, abiding comfort of one whose communion with God is not hindered. Even those who were scourged rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for His name. If bonds and stripes could not produce grief in them, shall this human betrayal utterly sink you?
Of course the pain intrudes and the mind replays what was lost. But you must turn that remembrance into a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Nothing is holier than a tongue that, in evils, gives thanks to God. This is the crown of a confessor, no less than martyrdom, when the executioner of despondency stands over the soul and yet it refuses to blaspheme through bitterness. When the gift was taken away, the daughter of Abraham felt no indignation but praised God. Do this. When the serpent whispers that you have been wronged and your future ruined, rise up from that thought as our Lord rose to meet the betrayer, not fleeing from the cup but going forward in the strength of a hidden dispensation. He foreknew the traitor’s kiss and allowed it. How much more does He see your sorrow now?
As for your prayer for a God-fearing woman, commit this also without anxiety. Ask no question of the future, for the Lord is at hand. Let your forbearance be known to all men, even to those who have wronged you. Cease from investigating her life; such knowledge is not for your peace. Seek first the Kingdom, and trust that the One who conquered the world will establish your heart. The sorrows of this world will not cease, but the disciples must not despond when the Master has already overcome the ruler of this darkness. He is watching over you in ways you do not yet see. Offer your tears in the chamber of prayer, and let the peace that surpasses all understanding stand sentry over your heart, keeping out the violent thoughts that seek to trouble you. Be not drunk with the passion of wounded affection; sober your mind by the remembrance that He who spared not His own Son will with Him freely give you all things needful for salvation.
Your grief is real, and to grieve such a loss is not sinful. Yet you must not let this grief master you to the point of obsession. You check on her through a mutual friend and find your thoughts consumed: this is the anxiety and luxury that together choke the word, as thorns choke the seed. The apostle commands, “Rejoice in the Lord alway: again I will say, Rejoice. In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.” This joy is not the world’s merriment, but the deep, abiding comfort of one whose communion with God is not hindered. Even those who were scourged rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for His name. If bonds and stripes could not produce grief in them, shall this human betrayal utterly sink you?
Of course the pain intrudes and the mind replays what was lost. But you must turn that remembrance into a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Nothing is holier than a tongue that, in evils, gives thanks to God. This is the crown of a confessor, no less than martyrdom, when the executioner of despondency stands over the soul and yet it refuses to blaspheme through bitterness. When the gift was taken away, the daughter of Abraham felt no indignation but praised God. Do this. When the serpent whispers that you have been wronged and your future ruined, rise up from that thought as our Lord rose to meet the betrayer, not fleeing from the cup but going forward in the strength of a hidden dispensation. He foreknew the traitor’s kiss and allowed it. How much more does He see your sorrow now?
As for your prayer for a God-fearing woman, commit this also without anxiety. Ask no question of the future, for the Lord is at hand. Let your forbearance be known to all men, even to those who have wronged you. Cease from investigating her life; such knowledge is not for your peace. Seek first the Kingdom, and trust that the One who conquered the world will establish your heart. The sorrows of this world will not cease, but the disciples must not despond when the Master has already overcome the ruler of this darkness. He is watching over you in ways you do not yet see. Offer your tears in the chamber of prayer, and let the peace that surpasses all understanding stand sentry over your heart, keeping out the violent thoughts that seek to trouble you. Be not drunk with the passion of wounded affection; sober your mind by the remembrance that He who spared not His own Son will with Him freely give you all things needful for salvation.
