You feel as if an old song has lodged itself in your mind, not a clean and cheerful hymn, but something foul, a strain that drags defiling memories in its train. The very title, the words, the sound of it seem to have become a snare, and now you find yourself fighting not merely a passing thought but what feels like a swarm of intruders. You cry out for deliverance from all demonic memories, from possession, from evil spirits, from lust and lustful thoughts. And you are right to cry to the Father, for only He can pluck these arrows from the soul.
But now hear this, and let it sink deep. The great enemy of your peace has but one master-arrow in his quiver, the suggestion that God has cast you off. When other temptations fail, he always reaches for that barbed shaft. He whispers that because the memory returns, because the battle is fierce, because you have stumbled here before, the Lord has withdrawn His hand and will be gracious no more. Do not lend that hound of hell your ear even for a moment. The fact that you hate these intrusions, that you pray against them, that you run to Jesus Christ for shelter, this is not the mark of a soul forsaken. It is the very breath of the Spirit still striving within you, teaching you to cry “Abba, Father,” when you would otherwise be silent in despair.
Think of it this way. You have been brought to a well, a well of living water, but the archers have come and made the place a battleground. You came to draw refreshment, perhaps you sat down to pray, or opened the Scriptures, or sought a quiet moment with the Lord, and at once the noise of battle surrounded you. Old sounds, old lusts, old titles rose up as if to poison the water. But remember this: the well is still a well. The enemy cannot turn living water into death. Christ Jesus, that deep fountain opened for sin and uncleanness, is not defiled by the shouts of the adversary. You may have to draw with one hand while the other holds a sword, yet draw you shall, and the water will be sweet. He has promised that whoever drinks of Him shall never thirst again, not because the enemy will never try to foul the stream, but because the stream is stronger than all the filth hell can pour into it.
What is more, you are not under the dominion of that darkness anymore. You may be shot at, but you are no longer a prisoner in the castle of Giant Despair. The key has turned in the lock. The iron gate that once held you fast has swung open, and though old Despair may wake up and roar, he is already seized with a fainting fit, he cannot hold you. Every time you groan to heaven, "Deliver me," you are proving whose soldier you are. A slave does not fight his master; a captive does not beg for rescue from the king he serves. Your warfare is sure evidence that you have changed sides. The Prince of Darkness has no rights over you now, and all his raging is the fury of a defeated foe trying to reclaim what he knows has been bought with blood.
I do not tell you the memories will vanish in an hour. You may have to walk a little way with these foul birds cawing overhead. But I do tell you that they cannot build a nest in your heart if Christ dwells there. When such a thought next alights, do not parley with it. Do not pull it apart to examine it, as if handling a viper to see its markings. Lift your eyes to Jesus at once. Say aloud, if need be, "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord." The blessed Luther wrote that upon his wall. Write it upon the wall of your mind. The Lord who began a good work in you will complete it. He brought Israel out of Egypt with silver and gold, and there was not one feeble person among their tribes when He led them forth. You may feel weak, but in Him you are counted among the strong.
And as for the music that haunts you, remember that your Lord has a better song to put in your mouth. The old refrain of Egypt shall be drowned out, in time, by the new song of Zion. He will teach you to sing of deliverance so sweetly that the former tunes grow faint and hollow. Let Jerusalem come into your mind. Fix your heart on the city above, on the gathered church triumphant, on the river of pleasure at God’s right hand. You are not a citizen of the land of your captivity; you belong to that country where no foul sound ever enters.
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, You who cast out demons with a word, speak peace to this troubled heart. Let the merits of Your precious blood be a wall of fire around this soul, quenching every fiery dart of the wicked one. By Your Holy Spirit, cleanse the chambers of memory and imagination, wash them as white as wool. When the old strains rise up to torment, let the melody of Your love rise louder still. Hold this dear one fast; do not let him go. For You have promised that none shall pluck him from Your hand. And we rest in that promise, O faithful Shepherd. Into Your pierced hands we commit this spirit, for time and for eternity. Amen.