Justbecause5
Servant
There is power in prayer (James 5:16)!
I really need your prayers. I have been sick now for over a week. Very sick. It’s like the flu or a really bad cold, but it just won’t go away.
Also…
In August 2022, my wife really hurt me. Our job in Alaska was complete. My wife and daughter were going overseas to visit family in September 2022. So, my young sons and I went to Texas to start the new job and set up the new home.
After I left Alaska, my wife hired an attorney, and together, they convinced the judge that I had stolen the boys and taking them across state lines. There was no mention about my wife’s tickets to go overseas or the fact that our job was complete in Alaska and I had secured a new position. I was 5000 miles away in Texas and did not know what was going on.
My wife and a sister in Christ flew to Texas and stole my sons while I was working in my room. The principal and HR lady came to my room to let me know that the boys were gone. I immediately busted out crying in front of them. I was so deeply saddened by what it happened. I have not seen them since then.
Just typing those words above, brings tears to my eyes as I miss my children with every ounce of my being. I’m not suicidal, but I have pleaded with God to take my life because the pain is so overwhelming.
I bet I have prayed over 1 million times since then. I have prayed fervently for my marriage to be restored. I have prayed fervently for my family to be reconciled. I have pleading with God to guide my steps in such a way that allows it to take place.
God made provision for me. After teaching school in Texas was complete, God gave me several temporary jobs working for a company that helped other companies test cars. So, I went to California like four times and stayed in really nice hotels and drove across the country testing cars.
Looking back, I see the hand of God.
I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska. I had hoped that a closer proximity would lead me to reconciliation. In the summer of 2024, God answered my prayer and paved the way for me to go back to Alaska. He gave me a teaching and coaching job. My previous temporary company, paid for my first class ticket to my new home in Alaska.
So, on August 19, 2024, I boarded a first class flight to Alaska. I was so convinced that before the plane landed, my wife would contact me and I would have a place to live in car to drive. Unfortunately, it did not happen. I landed in Alaska at 12:15 AM and had nowhere to go.
I have now been back in Alaska like 18 months. I have suffered tremendously. I’ve lost multiple jobs due to no fault of my own. I have lived in limbo moving from one temporary place to the next, etc.. I have not worked a regular job since June 16, 2025. I’ve been doing gig work ever since then.
I started doing gig work full-time after losing my last job and everything was going great and even getting better but then I started having serious car issues. Of course, without a vehicle one cannot do gig work. So, I rented a car for like six months. Finally, in February 2026, the rental car prices went from $28 a day up to $100 a day. I finally got my van back and was able to use it.
However, a few weeks later, my van would not start. Eventually, the timing belt broke and I did not have $2000 to fix it. So, I do not have a vehicle now thankfully, the prices to rent a car I’ve come down somewhat to $50 a day and so I’ve been renting for the last two weeks.
I feel like Job.
Everything bad has happened to me and a little good. I keep praying for that. God will turn my life upside down for the positive. I’m just in so much pain by everything. I’m exhausted from fighting.
Right now…
My apartment cost $1500 a month. I am behind. By the way, it’s just a studio apartment but this is Alaska. Thankfully, so far my Landlord seems to be working with my small payments when I can get them. But at $1500 a month it’s easy to get behind far behind.
For the months of April in May, the rental car prices are backed down because so a few people come to Alaska during these months. It’s. Period of melting and dirty snow everywhere and trash being revealed from the long winter, etc. so the rental car prices are back down to $31 a day starting this next week. So, I’m hoping that I can rent a car and work until June 5 and make as much money as I can.
After June 5, I have no idea what I will be doing. The apartment complex to my van for some reason. I haven’t asked about it yet because I know that I cannot afford to fix my van. It could be a blessing in disguise because in Alaska, you have to pay to dispose of a vehicle. So since they told it, it’s their problem.
However, for the last week or so, I’ve been really sick. I feel like I’m getting better but it’s a slow process. And, I still must work. I have no choice. I can’t just lay in the bed. I’ve got to go work so that I can pay for next week‘s rental car and pay for rent, etc. etc. I feel like I’m losing, but I’m trying my hardest.
I love my wife. She did really bad things to me, but I still love her. I stay prepared to forgive her. I keep praying that God will bring her to her repentance and caused her to rethink what she’s done.
Every time I think about how God brought me back to Alaska, it gives me hope. It really does give me hope. Because it’s amazing how God brought me back here. I sent resumes all around the country and the one that came through for a job was here in Alaska.
Yet, I’m human and my mind sometimes we’ll go towards the negative. Being sick doesn’t help. I think I think more negative when I’m sick. It’s 3:54 AM and I should be sleeping right now, but I know that I need to get up and go do some work for a few hours in the morning shift.
I love my family…
I miss them terribly. Every day I ache for them. If I see a small boy, it reminds me of my sons and I get really sad. Sometimes, I’ll hear a small child giggle in a store or a restaurant or on the radio and I get really sad in my heart. My heart aches every single day.
I know God loves me… But God please do something in my life. Please lift me up in someway that will turn my life upside down for the positive.
I love moose.. it’s one of my favorite things about Alaska
A few days ago, I prayed that God would let me see a sign. He’s right here with me and I indicated seeing a moose or an owl and on Monday afternoon I had a Uber Eats order that took me down a road where two moose were sleeping in the snow. It’s only the third time I’ve seen moose sleeping, and it made me smile because I felt like God had led me down that road… this has happened several times in the past where God led me down a certain road, and I saw a moose walking down the side or off the distance.
The moose story may seem weird, but if you’ve been to Alaska, you’ll know that moose are not everywhere. A person should go months without seeing one. Even people that have lived in Alaska for a long time. Enjoy seeing them.
Please pray for me
First, I need to get well. I feel like if I can get well that I can really do a lot of good work that will help me to catch up on my debts and have that behind me.
Second, I need an open door to a brighter future. I’m tired of being homeless. I’m tired of being deeply sad. I’m tired of crying and being so sad every day. I’m exhausted from trying to figure out what to do next.
I know God loves me. The Bible says he guides our steps and I’m asking God to guide my steps. I love my wife and I love my family and I keep asking God to restore my family. Of course, God knows the end from the beginning and I’ve asked God if he’s not going to restore my family would he please take me somewhere and give me a great job so I can start over. I need something positive in my life.
I am not suicidal. However, I have pleading with God to take my life or exchange my life for another. I’m just so exhausted from living. I’ve never been like this in my life. The pain from being so sad it’s just so overbearing.
Thank you for reading my story. Part of me feels like I should write a book showing the hand of God because he has taken care of me the whole time I’ve been back in Alaska. It’s been very difficult, but I can see the end of God again and again.
God, please lift me up.
Thank you for praying for me
I really need your prayers. I have been sick now for over a week. Very sick. It’s like the flu or a really bad cold, but it just won’t go away.
Also…
In August 2022, my wife really hurt me. Our job in Alaska was complete. My wife and daughter were going overseas to visit family in September 2022. So, my young sons and I went to Texas to start the new job and set up the new home.
After I left Alaska, my wife hired an attorney, and together, they convinced the judge that I had stolen the boys and taking them across state lines. There was no mention about my wife’s tickets to go overseas or the fact that our job was complete in Alaska and I had secured a new position. I was 5000 miles away in Texas and did not know what was going on.
My wife and a sister in Christ flew to Texas and stole my sons while I was working in my room. The principal and HR lady came to my room to let me know that the boys were gone. I immediately busted out crying in front of them. I was so deeply saddened by what it happened. I have not seen them since then.
Just typing those words above, brings tears to my eyes as I miss my children with every ounce of my being. I’m not suicidal, but I have pleaded with God to take my life because the pain is so overwhelming.
I bet I have prayed over 1 million times since then. I have prayed fervently for my marriage to be restored. I have prayed fervently for my family to be reconciled. I have pleading with God to guide my steps in such a way that allows it to take place.
God made provision for me. After teaching school in Texas was complete, God gave me several temporary jobs working for a company that helped other companies test cars. So, I went to California like four times and stayed in really nice hotels and drove across the country testing cars.
Looking back, I see the hand of God.
I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska. I had hoped that a closer proximity would lead me to reconciliation. In the summer of 2024, God answered my prayer and paved the way for me to go back to Alaska. He gave me a teaching and coaching job. My previous temporary company, paid for my first class ticket to my new home in Alaska.
So, on August 19, 2024, I boarded a first class flight to Alaska. I was so convinced that before the plane landed, my wife would contact me and I would have a place to live in car to drive. Unfortunately, it did not happen. I landed in Alaska at 12:15 AM and had nowhere to go.
I have now been back in Alaska like 18 months. I have suffered tremendously. I’ve lost multiple jobs due to no fault of my own. I have lived in limbo moving from one temporary place to the next, etc.. I have not worked a regular job since June 16, 2025. I’ve been doing gig work ever since then.
I started doing gig work full-time after losing my last job and everything was going great and even getting better but then I started having serious car issues. Of course, without a vehicle one cannot do gig work. So, I rented a car for like six months. Finally, in February 2026, the rental car prices went from $28 a day up to $100 a day. I finally got my van back and was able to use it.
However, a few weeks later, my van would not start. Eventually, the timing belt broke and I did not have $2000 to fix it. So, I do not have a vehicle now thankfully, the prices to rent a car I’ve come down somewhat to $50 a day and so I’ve been renting for the last two weeks.
I feel like Job.
Everything bad has happened to me and a little good. I keep praying for that. God will turn my life upside down for the positive. I’m just in so much pain by everything. I’m exhausted from fighting.
Right now…
My apartment cost $1500 a month. I am behind. By the way, it’s just a studio apartment but this is Alaska. Thankfully, so far my Landlord seems to be working with my small payments when I can get them. But at $1500 a month it’s easy to get behind far behind.
For the months of April in May, the rental car prices are backed down because so a few people come to Alaska during these months. It’s. Period of melting and dirty snow everywhere and trash being revealed from the long winter, etc. so the rental car prices are back down to $31 a day starting this next week. So, I’m hoping that I can rent a car and work until June 5 and make as much money as I can.
After June 5, I have no idea what I will be doing. The apartment complex to my van for some reason. I haven’t asked about it yet because I know that I cannot afford to fix my van. It could be a blessing in disguise because in Alaska, you have to pay to dispose of a vehicle. So since they told it, it’s their problem.
However, for the last week or so, I’ve been really sick. I feel like I’m getting better but it’s a slow process. And, I still must work. I have no choice. I can’t just lay in the bed. I’ve got to go work so that I can pay for next week‘s rental car and pay for rent, etc. etc. I feel like I’m losing, but I’m trying my hardest.
I love my wife. She did really bad things to me, but I still love her. I stay prepared to forgive her. I keep praying that God will bring her to her repentance and caused her to rethink what she’s done.
Every time I think about how God brought me back to Alaska, it gives me hope. It really does give me hope. Because it’s amazing how God brought me back here. I sent resumes all around the country and the one that came through for a job was here in Alaska.
Yet, I’m human and my mind sometimes we’ll go towards the negative. Being sick doesn’t help. I think I think more negative when I’m sick. It’s 3:54 AM and I should be sleeping right now, but I know that I need to get up and go do some work for a few hours in the morning shift.
I love my family…
I miss them terribly. Every day I ache for them. If I see a small boy, it reminds me of my sons and I get really sad. Sometimes, I’ll hear a small child giggle in a store or a restaurant or on the radio and I get really sad in my heart. My heart aches every single day.
I know God loves me… But God please do something in my life. Please lift me up in someway that will turn my life upside down for the positive.
I love moose.. it’s one of my favorite things about Alaska
A few days ago, I prayed that God would let me see a sign. He’s right here with me and I indicated seeing a moose or an owl and on Monday afternoon I had a Uber Eats order that took me down a road where two moose were sleeping in the snow. It’s only the third time I’ve seen moose sleeping, and it made me smile because I felt like God had led me down that road… this has happened several times in the past where God led me down a certain road, and I saw a moose walking down the side or off the distance.
The moose story may seem weird, but if you’ve been to Alaska, you’ll know that moose are not everywhere. A person should go months without seeing one. Even people that have lived in Alaska for a long time. Enjoy seeing them.
Please pray for me
First, I need to get well. I feel like if I can get well that I can really do a lot of good work that will help me to catch up on my debts and have that behind me.
Second, I need an open door to a brighter future. I’m tired of being homeless. I’m tired of being deeply sad. I’m tired of crying and being so sad every day. I’m exhausted from trying to figure out what to do next.
I know God loves me. The Bible says he guides our steps and I’m asking God to guide my steps. I love my wife and I love my family and I keep asking God to restore my family. Of course, God knows the end from the beginning and I’ve asked God if he’s not going to restore my family would he please take me somewhere and give me a great job so I can start over. I need something positive in my life.
I am not suicidal. However, I have pleading with God to take my life or exchange my life for another. I’m just so exhausted from living. I’ve never been like this in my life. The pain from being so sad it’s just so overbearing.
Thank you for reading my story. Part of me feels like I should write a book showing the hand of God because he has taken care of me the whole time I’ve been back in Alaska. It’s been very difficult, but I can see the end of God again and again.
God, please lift me up.
Thank you for praying for me
