Justbecause5
Servant
There is power in prayer (James 5:16)!
Thank you for praying for me. I have truly walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I am so exhausted.
In August 2022, my job in Alaska was complete and I had secured a teaching job in my home state of Texas. My wife and older daughter had tickets to fly overseas to visit family in mid September. So, my two young sons and I left for Texas.
After we left Alaska, my wife hired an attorney and made an argument that I stole the boys and took them across state lines. I was 5000 miles away and did not know what was going on. The judge gave her permission to go get the boys.
The boys and I have been suffering waiting for our first paycheck. They were so young. They did not realize that we were suffering. I did I eagerly look forward to the first paycheck; it was my first pay since July.
Finally, the day came. I checked my bank balance and it included my first paycheck and the sizable relocation bonus. I was so excited My youngest son wanted some sunglasses and a new backpack. I was excited to get them whatever they needed to have a successful school year. It was their first school year.
I had specifically chosen the school where I landed. It is a small school and at the time had the high school and the elementary in the same building. I taught mainly high school science and math. My two young sons were probably less than 50 yards from my classroom. I could be in their room in seconds.
My first few classes went by quickly. Again, I was looking forward to the end of day and which we could go do some shopping. During my break, I normally prepare for later classes, grade papers, etc., the principal and the HR lady came to my room and told me that my wife had came and taken the boys. I immediately started crying like a baby. I just burst out in tears. I was so upset.
First, I could not believe that my wife would do that to me. Second, all the joy that I experienced in the morning when I realize my bank was now full of money meant nothing I cried like a baby. The principal gave me several days off to go collect myself. I decided to drive to my dad’s house about 250 miles away. I cried almost all the way down there. I knew it would be a long time before I would see my children little that I know, I may never see them again.
As I write this prayer request, it is the end of April 2026. Next August it will be four years since I’ve seen my children. I am absolutely exhausted. I miss them so much. The pain I have endured has been overwhelming. I am not suicidal, but I have begged God to take me and let me die. Replace me with someone else. Let someone from the dead come back and I’ll go in their place. I had those dark thoughts and still do from time to time.
I immediately started planning how I would get back to Alaska. I had a teaching job. I could not just quit, but I would if I could figure out a way to get back to Alaska. Looking back, I can see that God made a way for me to finish the school year. It was so painful because my son‘s backpacks were underneath my desk and every day I would see them. My sons had put little notes on the wall and they were still there for a long time until some kids took them down. I was so sad every day.
I lived in a free cabin or office out in the country. A lady in the school had allowed me and the boys to move in there just days before my wife took them. I explained to her what happened and she allowed me to stay there outside the cabin it was complete dark darkness at night and I spent many many hours on that dirt road just outside the cabin praying fervently at night in the middle of the darkness. I must’ve said several hundred thousand prayers out there pleading with God.
Of course, I was always pleading with God for reconciliation. I knew I could not do it, but I was asking God to orchestrate things that would lead to reconciliation. I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska looking back, I can see the hand of God as he orchestrated things. God provided a temporary job in California, which required me to fly there several times and stay in nice, expensive hotels. It made me feel special when the Uber ride picked me up and took me to the airport and I flew to California to work.
Finally, in the summer of 2024, God‘s plan came to fruition. I had just finished a 17 week job and I was headed back to Texas on a first class flight. It was my first time flying first class I received a text from the company asking me to go back to California to do some more work I agree. However, the job did not begin until Father’s Day, June 16 so on that day, I flew to California to do a 30 day job.
As my partner, I begin work, after two weeks or so it was obvious they needed more work done from us. The job got extended for 30 days. About halfway through the second 30 days I received a job offer in Alaska to teach school and Coach basketball. I accepted it since I worked with the company that needed to fly me back home. My new home was Alaska. So, the company paid $850 to fly me first class to Alaska. I think that was the hand of God.
Moving to Alaska is not easy. There are so many factors that have to be considered. The biggest one I would say is the job. I needed to have income. However, I was unsuccessful in finding a place to live our car to drive. However, I still moved, trusting that God would provide. I was walking by faith and not by sight. In fact, I must’ve quoted that several hundred times on the flight.
In my heart in my mind, I was convinced that before the plane landed, my wife would contact me in someway, and that would provide me a place to live in a car to drive. I was just as convinced as Abraham was convinced that God would raise Isaac from the dead. Unfortunately, my wife did not contact me.
I have now been in Alaska over 20 months. I have suffered in so many different ways. Nothing has been easy. Initially, a lady on the plane and her husband took me to the shelter. The plane had landed at 12:15 AM on August 20, 2024. I’d contacted the shelter but they had never given me permission to stay there. I didn’t understand why they would let me stay there because I had a job; they did.
I lived in the shelter for 4.5 months. Approximately one month after I moved to Alaska, a guy who had bought my van when I was there before financed an old, old van for me. I was able to pay him back in four months. That gave me transportation.
Looking back, I can see the hand of God in so many ways. I often go back, especially when I’m walking. I love to walk and it’s a great time to pray and to contemplate what God is done. It has given me a lot of strength to contemplate.
My basketball team was doing great. We were six-one. Each day I was getting better teaching eighth grade science. However, something really sad happened on November 20. I was involved in a game that we played where we were learning the periodic table. The principal came to my room and told me to get my things. I had no idea what was going on in fact, I left behind probably $200 worth of things my job is over. There was a contract issue that would prevent me from working any further.
Since I’ve been in Alaska, I have suffered in so many different ways. I lost my teaching job. I lived at the shelter. Later, I got a job at a lab as a manager. The job was going great. But three weeks later, I receive noticed that my job was no longer. It was so frustrating to work as hard as I did as long as I did and then to be let go.
When I first moved to Alaska, I was in HR limbo with the school. Meaning there were several steps that they expected new teachers to go through before they could step foot in the classroom. Took like 10 days so, I started doing gig work to add some cash until I can start getting paid. Because I was not working so the payday just kept getting pushed forward.
Little did I know, at the time that doing gig work would end up being a huge blessing for me. When I lost my job at the school, I immediately start doing gig work. In fact, I made $1600 in the first 10 days after I lost my job. Eventually, the school agreed to pay my salary through the end of April 2025.
After I lost my job at the laboratory, I immediately started doing gig work. I even got so good at it that I replaced my income by doing it. But then, I started having van problems. I had three blowouts in six weeks. Later, the bearings on the front of my van went out and my van barely made it to McDonald’s where it sat for nearly 2 weeks I had to start renting a car.
I have suffered so much since I’ve been back in Alaska. I feel like Job. I really do. I felt like Job in every way. Everything was taken from me. It seemed like everything I did ended up in chaos or difficulty.
One Sunday, December 29, 2024, I went to a mountain about 20 miles outside of town on a beautiful clear day. I knew the sunset was gonna be absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to go up there to worship God and take the Lord supper. The sun which sat right behind Mount Denali, our country‘s greatest beak I was there. It was very cold about -35°F.
I got out of the van to take a quick picture and video in the cold evening. The wind was blowing. I was out of the van for just a few minutes taking the picture and video. In fact, my profile picture on this site has Mount Denali from that day. I went back to my van and the van had locked. The van was running.
I did not panic. I started walking around the van, hoping that in that old van, maybe there was a window that was a jar or the back door was not properly closed or something it was completely secure. I started praying for God‘s help I started getting really really cold. My hands were numb. My face was numb and my ears were numb. I could barely talk. I tried to break the window, but it was unsuccessful. There were no rocks just a piece of what look like volcanic rock or ash. It made a small mark on the window, but no breakage.
I finally decided to run down the hill, hoping that maybe there was somebody down there. There was an ice covered snow covered parking lot where people would park their cars and ride snowmobiles. There were two beautiful women there in an old truck. Long story short, they were able to come up the hill with me in the back and help me get in my van looking back, I’ve wondered if they were angels are specifically placed there for such a time as that.
The suffering continued. I lived in the shelter for .5 months. But because I lived in the shelter, I was part of the veteran program. So the veteran program paid for my apartment for five months. I lived in a $1 million house in one of the ladies apartments however, in May I had to move out due to she using the house for Airbnb. I moved out of the apartment and enter the back of my van for 28 nights.
On the day that I lost my job at the lab, the lady at the $1 million house contacted me and told me that I could move into the primitive basement for free. Looking back, it’s like God made that preparation. The day I lost my job is the day that I moved into the primitive basement. By primitive, I mean it had no toilet. It had a shower, but no toilet. Also there was no kitchen. There was a microwave and a coffee maker. I lived there for 4.5 months.
I am so exhausted by everything. In addition to everything I’ve described and more, there was a deep sincere desire to see my children. I prayed fervently every day. I was comforted by the rain because I love the rain (Acts 14:17). I was comforted by moose. I love seeing moose. Many times I pray that God would let me see a moose and either that day or the next or so I would see one or two. It was amazing.
I could write a book about everything in greater detail and fill in all the details that somebody may be asking about as they read this. I have suffered greatly. I honestly feel like my faith is stronger than it’s ever been. I honestly feel that I love God more than I’ve ever have. I really do feel that way. I guess God would be the only accurate judge of those things I pray permanently every day sometimes for hours.
I am not a perfect man, but I love my wife, even after everything she’s done to me. She’s done some really bad things to me that probably have jeopardized her soul salvation. I don’t understand how she lives with herself, knowing what she’s done to me, my family, and my children
Divorce is a terrible thing. I think it’s one of the most selfish things that a person can do to another. 70 to 80% of divorces in this country are initiated by women. Women often do these things without even thinking about anybody else except for themselves. It’s a tragedy in this country and I pray for vengeance against all family attorneys that destroy families and marriages, I pray for vengeance against all the court systems that destroy marriages and families, contrary to the will of God.
That being said, I stand prepared to forgive my wife. Christ has forgiven me, and I must extend forgiveness to her. I would love to reconcile with her and I prayed for such all this time I stand prepared to forgive her and love her like Jesus love the church. I stand prepared to not hold the past against her, but to go forward.
However, I have waited patiently for God to work. I’m convinced that the only way reconciled as you can take place is if God authors it. I have trusted him 100% in this matter I have never tried to find my wife for a follow her or call any harm to her in anyway I have waited patiently on God to intercede .
About one month ago, I was doing so good doing gig work and then one day my van just would not start. It did not start for a full week. Then I was able to use it for like another two weeks and then the timing belt broke one day. It cost about $1500 to replace the timing bill and it could be more especially up here.
I finally, I was able to rent a car again. I went out to my rental car to go do some work and I looked over. My van was gone. The apartment complex had my van removed. They didn’t realize it was mine.
Where do I stand now?
I have a rental car right now and the prices have come down since February. I am now paying about $31 a day. However, the prices will go up to $90 a day on June 6. Soon after they will go up to probably 150 a day I can’t afford that and do the work, etc..
So, my back is up against the wall. I have now been back to Alaska for 20 months. I have suffered tremendously as I have described in some detail above. I am confident that God is working, but I haven’t seen anything in conclusion so, as it stands right now, my plan is to leave Alaska on June 5 or six or somewhere in that timeframe.
I ask you to pray for me.
Despite my intense suffering all this time, I have seen the hand of God again and again. I have seen the hand of God so many times that I can’t imagine that God would let me leave Alaska without something happening. It just doesn’t seem like that’s the case.
I know that God often works when our back is fully squarely against the wall. When we look around and we realize we have nothing else, but God yes, by the way, I am a Christian I believe in Jesus.
So, I’m waiting for God to open up a door. I really need to have a stable, good job. I’ve even asked God if he’s not going to restore my family would he? Please take me to another place and give me a good job. So that I can catch up on everything and get my life going in a positive direction. It’s not happen yet in fact it seems that every effort I’ve made to leave Alaska has failed.
However, on June 5, I will need to turn the rental car back in and I will have no vehicle. No vehicle means no money. No money means no apartment. No apartment means me walking up and down the street homeless. I’m confident God will provide something.
Every time I come on this page and leave a prayer request my initial intention is to not write a bunch of stuff, but I always do as I try to explain myself to people who may not know my story so, there it is
I’m asking God to turn my weeping into joy. I’m asking God to turn my morning into dancing. I’m so exhausted. I’m so tired. I’m surprised. I have the energy to even go work but every day it seems like God gives me the strength that I need to go work.
Due to the better weather that slow slowly, but surely coming up on us, I’ve been trying to go out and walk more. When I move back to Alaska, I was in so much better shape after having been in California for so long. Now, I’m trying to walk to get myself in a better shape and be more healthy.
Please pray for me
Thank you for praying for me. I have truly walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I am so exhausted.
In August 2022, my job in Alaska was complete and I had secured a teaching job in my home state of Texas. My wife and older daughter had tickets to fly overseas to visit family in mid September. So, my two young sons and I left for Texas.
After we left Alaska, my wife hired an attorney and made an argument that I stole the boys and took them across state lines. I was 5000 miles away and did not know what was going on. The judge gave her permission to go get the boys.
The boys and I have been suffering waiting for our first paycheck. They were so young. They did not realize that we were suffering. I did I eagerly look forward to the first paycheck; it was my first pay since July.
Finally, the day came. I checked my bank balance and it included my first paycheck and the sizable relocation bonus. I was so excited My youngest son wanted some sunglasses and a new backpack. I was excited to get them whatever they needed to have a successful school year. It was their first school year.
I had specifically chosen the school where I landed. It is a small school and at the time had the high school and the elementary in the same building. I taught mainly high school science and math. My two young sons were probably less than 50 yards from my classroom. I could be in their room in seconds.
My first few classes went by quickly. Again, I was looking forward to the end of day and which we could go do some shopping. During my break, I normally prepare for later classes, grade papers, etc., the principal and the HR lady came to my room and told me that my wife had came and taken the boys. I immediately started crying like a baby. I just burst out in tears. I was so upset.
First, I could not believe that my wife would do that to me. Second, all the joy that I experienced in the morning when I realize my bank was now full of money meant nothing I cried like a baby. The principal gave me several days off to go collect myself. I decided to drive to my dad’s house about 250 miles away. I cried almost all the way down there. I knew it would be a long time before I would see my children little that I know, I may never see them again.
As I write this prayer request, it is the end of April 2026. Next August it will be four years since I’ve seen my children. I am absolutely exhausted. I miss them so much. The pain I have endured has been overwhelming. I am not suicidal, but I have begged God to take me and let me die. Replace me with someone else. Let someone from the dead come back and I’ll go in their place. I had those dark thoughts and still do from time to time.
I immediately started planning how I would get back to Alaska. I had a teaching job. I could not just quit, but I would if I could figure out a way to get back to Alaska. Looking back, I can see that God made a way for me to finish the school year. It was so painful because my son‘s backpacks were underneath my desk and every day I would see them. My sons had put little notes on the wall and they were still there for a long time until some kids took them down. I was so sad every day.
I lived in a free cabin or office out in the country. A lady in the school had allowed me and the boys to move in there just days before my wife took them. I explained to her what happened and she allowed me to stay there outside the cabin it was complete dark darkness at night and I spent many many hours on that dirt road just outside the cabin praying fervently at night in the middle of the darkness. I must’ve said several hundred thousand prayers out there pleading with God.
Of course, I was always pleading with God for reconciliation. I knew I could not do it, but I was asking God to orchestrate things that would lead to reconciliation. I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska looking back, I can see the hand of God as he orchestrated things. God provided a temporary job in California, which required me to fly there several times and stay in nice, expensive hotels. It made me feel special when the Uber ride picked me up and took me to the airport and I flew to California to work.
Finally, in the summer of 2024, God‘s plan came to fruition. I had just finished a 17 week job and I was headed back to Texas on a first class flight. It was my first time flying first class I received a text from the company asking me to go back to California to do some more work I agree. However, the job did not begin until Father’s Day, June 16 so on that day, I flew to California to do a 30 day job.
As my partner, I begin work, after two weeks or so it was obvious they needed more work done from us. The job got extended for 30 days. About halfway through the second 30 days I received a job offer in Alaska to teach school and Coach basketball. I accepted it since I worked with the company that needed to fly me back home. My new home was Alaska. So, the company paid $850 to fly me first class to Alaska. I think that was the hand of God.
Moving to Alaska is not easy. There are so many factors that have to be considered. The biggest one I would say is the job. I needed to have income. However, I was unsuccessful in finding a place to live our car to drive. However, I still moved, trusting that God would provide. I was walking by faith and not by sight. In fact, I must’ve quoted that several hundred times on the flight.
In my heart in my mind, I was convinced that before the plane landed, my wife would contact me in someway, and that would provide me a place to live in a car to drive. I was just as convinced as Abraham was convinced that God would raise Isaac from the dead. Unfortunately, my wife did not contact me.
I have now been in Alaska over 20 months. I have suffered in so many different ways. Nothing has been easy. Initially, a lady on the plane and her husband took me to the shelter. The plane had landed at 12:15 AM on August 20, 2024. I’d contacted the shelter but they had never given me permission to stay there. I didn’t understand why they would let me stay there because I had a job; they did.
I lived in the shelter for 4.5 months. Approximately one month after I moved to Alaska, a guy who had bought my van when I was there before financed an old, old van for me. I was able to pay him back in four months. That gave me transportation.
Looking back, I can see the hand of God in so many ways. I often go back, especially when I’m walking. I love to walk and it’s a great time to pray and to contemplate what God is done. It has given me a lot of strength to contemplate.
My basketball team was doing great. We were six-one. Each day I was getting better teaching eighth grade science. However, something really sad happened on November 20. I was involved in a game that we played where we were learning the periodic table. The principal came to my room and told me to get my things. I had no idea what was going on in fact, I left behind probably $200 worth of things my job is over. There was a contract issue that would prevent me from working any further.
Since I’ve been in Alaska, I have suffered in so many different ways. I lost my teaching job. I lived at the shelter. Later, I got a job at a lab as a manager. The job was going great. But three weeks later, I receive noticed that my job was no longer. It was so frustrating to work as hard as I did as long as I did and then to be let go.
When I first moved to Alaska, I was in HR limbo with the school. Meaning there were several steps that they expected new teachers to go through before they could step foot in the classroom. Took like 10 days so, I started doing gig work to add some cash until I can start getting paid. Because I was not working so the payday just kept getting pushed forward.
Little did I know, at the time that doing gig work would end up being a huge blessing for me. When I lost my job at the school, I immediately start doing gig work. In fact, I made $1600 in the first 10 days after I lost my job. Eventually, the school agreed to pay my salary through the end of April 2025.
After I lost my job at the laboratory, I immediately started doing gig work. I even got so good at it that I replaced my income by doing it. But then, I started having van problems. I had three blowouts in six weeks. Later, the bearings on the front of my van went out and my van barely made it to McDonald’s where it sat for nearly 2 weeks I had to start renting a car.
I have suffered so much since I’ve been back in Alaska. I feel like Job. I really do. I felt like Job in every way. Everything was taken from me. It seemed like everything I did ended up in chaos or difficulty.
One Sunday, December 29, 2024, I went to a mountain about 20 miles outside of town on a beautiful clear day. I knew the sunset was gonna be absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to go up there to worship God and take the Lord supper. The sun which sat right behind Mount Denali, our country‘s greatest beak I was there. It was very cold about -35°F.
I got out of the van to take a quick picture and video in the cold evening. The wind was blowing. I was out of the van for just a few minutes taking the picture and video. In fact, my profile picture on this site has Mount Denali from that day. I went back to my van and the van had locked. The van was running.
I did not panic. I started walking around the van, hoping that in that old van, maybe there was a window that was a jar or the back door was not properly closed or something it was completely secure. I started praying for God‘s help I started getting really really cold. My hands were numb. My face was numb and my ears were numb. I could barely talk. I tried to break the window, but it was unsuccessful. There were no rocks just a piece of what look like volcanic rock or ash. It made a small mark on the window, but no breakage.
I finally decided to run down the hill, hoping that maybe there was somebody down there. There was an ice covered snow covered parking lot where people would park their cars and ride snowmobiles. There were two beautiful women there in an old truck. Long story short, they were able to come up the hill with me in the back and help me get in my van looking back, I’ve wondered if they were angels are specifically placed there for such a time as that.
The suffering continued. I lived in the shelter for .5 months. But because I lived in the shelter, I was part of the veteran program. So the veteran program paid for my apartment for five months. I lived in a $1 million house in one of the ladies apartments however, in May I had to move out due to she using the house for Airbnb. I moved out of the apartment and enter the back of my van for 28 nights.
On the day that I lost my job at the lab, the lady at the $1 million house contacted me and told me that I could move into the primitive basement for free. Looking back, it’s like God made that preparation. The day I lost my job is the day that I moved into the primitive basement. By primitive, I mean it had no toilet. It had a shower, but no toilet. Also there was no kitchen. There was a microwave and a coffee maker. I lived there for 4.5 months.
I am so exhausted by everything. In addition to everything I’ve described and more, there was a deep sincere desire to see my children. I prayed fervently every day. I was comforted by the rain because I love the rain (Acts 14:17). I was comforted by moose. I love seeing moose. Many times I pray that God would let me see a moose and either that day or the next or so I would see one or two. It was amazing.
I could write a book about everything in greater detail and fill in all the details that somebody may be asking about as they read this. I have suffered greatly. I honestly feel like my faith is stronger than it’s ever been. I honestly feel that I love God more than I’ve ever have. I really do feel that way. I guess God would be the only accurate judge of those things I pray permanently every day sometimes for hours.
I am not a perfect man, but I love my wife, even after everything she’s done to me. She’s done some really bad things to me that probably have jeopardized her soul salvation. I don’t understand how she lives with herself, knowing what she’s done to me, my family, and my children
Divorce is a terrible thing. I think it’s one of the most selfish things that a person can do to another. 70 to 80% of divorces in this country are initiated by women. Women often do these things without even thinking about anybody else except for themselves. It’s a tragedy in this country and I pray for vengeance against all family attorneys that destroy families and marriages, I pray for vengeance against all the court systems that destroy marriages and families, contrary to the will of God.
That being said, I stand prepared to forgive my wife. Christ has forgiven me, and I must extend forgiveness to her. I would love to reconcile with her and I prayed for such all this time I stand prepared to forgive her and love her like Jesus love the church. I stand prepared to not hold the past against her, but to go forward.
However, I have waited patiently for God to work. I’m convinced that the only way reconciled as you can take place is if God authors it. I have trusted him 100% in this matter I have never tried to find my wife for a follow her or call any harm to her in anyway I have waited patiently on God to intercede .
About one month ago, I was doing so good doing gig work and then one day my van just would not start. It did not start for a full week. Then I was able to use it for like another two weeks and then the timing belt broke one day. It cost about $1500 to replace the timing bill and it could be more especially up here.
I finally, I was able to rent a car again. I went out to my rental car to go do some work and I looked over. My van was gone. The apartment complex had my van removed. They didn’t realize it was mine.
Where do I stand now?
I have a rental car right now and the prices have come down since February. I am now paying about $31 a day. However, the prices will go up to $90 a day on June 6. Soon after they will go up to probably 150 a day I can’t afford that and do the work, etc..
So, my back is up against the wall. I have now been back to Alaska for 20 months. I have suffered tremendously as I have described in some detail above. I am confident that God is working, but I haven’t seen anything in conclusion so, as it stands right now, my plan is to leave Alaska on June 5 or six or somewhere in that timeframe.
I ask you to pray for me.
Despite my intense suffering all this time, I have seen the hand of God again and again. I have seen the hand of God so many times that I can’t imagine that God would let me leave Alaska without something happening. It just doesn’t seem like that’s the case.
I know that God often works when our back is fully squarely against the wall. When we look around and we realize we have nothing else, but God yes, by the way, I am a Christian I believe in Jesus.
So, I’m waiting for God to open up a door. I really need to have a stable, good job. I’ve even asked God if he’s not going to restore my family would he? Please take me to another place and give me a good job. So that I can catch up on everything and get my life going in a positive direction. It’s not happen yet in fact it seems that every effort I’ve made to leave Alaska has failed.
However, on June 5, I will need to turn the rental car back in and I will have no vehicle. No vehicle means no money. No money means no apartment. No apartment means me walking up and down the street homeless. I’m confident God will provide something.
Every time I come on this page and leave a prayer request my initial intention is to not write a bunch of stuff, but I always do as I try to explain myself to people who may not know my story so, there it is
I’m asking God to turn my weeping into joy. I’m asking God to turn my morning into dancing. I’m so exhausted. I’m so tired. I’m surprised. I have the energy to even go work but every day it seems like God gives me the strength that I need to go work.
Due to the better weather that slow slowly, but surely coming up on us, I’ve been trying to go out and walk more. When I move back to Alaska, I was in so much better shape after having been in California for so long. Now, I’m trying to walk to get myself in a better shape and be more healthy.
Please pray for me
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
