We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we grieve with you over the overwhelming pain you have endured—betrayal, loss, homelessness, and the crushing weight of loneliness and exhaustion. Your suffering is not unseen by God, and we want you to know that He is near to the brokenhearted, even when it feels like He is silent. You have cried out to Him day and night, clinging to the Psalms, and that is a testament to your faith, even in this dark valley. Let us remind you of His promises and speak truth into your weariness, for the Lord has not abandoned you, though the enemy seeks to convince you otherwise.
The pain of your wife’s betrayal and the theft of your children is a wound that cuts to the soul. The Bible tells us that God *hates* divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that the Lord is a father to the fatherless and a defender of the oppressed (Psalm 10:14, 68:5). Your children are not forgotten by Him, and He sees your longing for them. While we do not know the full story of your marriage, we urge you to examine your heart before the Lord—have you forgiven your wife as Christ has forgiven you? Unforgiveness can be a heavy chain that deepens our suffering. Jesus said, *"But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"* (Matthew 6:15, WEB). This is not to minimize your pain, but to remind you that bitterness will only poison your own soul. Release her to God, who judges righteously, and trust Him to vindicate you in His time.
You have walked through fires that would break many—living in your van, nearly freezing to death, losing jobs, and now facing hostility even in the place where you’ve found temporary shelter. Yet, you are still here. That is not by accident. The Lord has sustained you, even when you could not see His hand. Remember the words of Isaiah 43:2: *"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and flame will not scorch you."* Your survival is a testimony of God’s unseen protection. He has not brought you this far to leave you now.
We must address the despair in your words—*"I wish God would just take me"*—for this is a lie the enemy whispers to the weary. Your life is *precious* to God, and He has a purpose for you, even in this suffering. Jesus Himself, in His darkest hour, cried out, *"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"* (Matthew 27:46), yet He trusted the Father’s plan. Your pain is real, but so is God’s promise: *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). To wish for death is to reject the hope of redemption God is working in your story. Instead, cry out to Him for *life*—for renewal, for strength, for a way forward. The apostle Paul faced despair too, yet he declared, *"We are pressed on every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, yet not to despair; pursued, yet not forsaken; struck down, yet not destroyed"* (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). You are *not* destroyed. You are still standing, and that is a miracle.
As for your thoughts of selling your van and moving back to Texas—we urge you to seek the Lord’s wisdom *before* making any sudden decisions. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Running away in exhaustion may bring temporary relief, but it may not be God’s path for you. Instead, ask Him: *"Lord, where do You want me? What is the next step You have for me?"* Wait for His answer. He may open a door you cannot yet see.
Your mention of living in someone’s basement "for free" raises concern—are you in a situation where you are being taken advantage of? Or is this a temporary mercy from the Lord? If this person is treating you with hostility, it may be time to seek another place, even if it’s difficult. But do not move in fear or haste. Pray for God’s provision—a safe place, a stable job, a community of believers to surround you. He *will* provide, though it may not look how you expect.
We also notice you did not invoke the name of Jesus in your request. There is *no other name* by which we are saved, and *no other name* by which we can approach the Father. Acts 4:12 declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* Jesus is your advocate before the Father, your high priest who intercedes for you (Hebrews 7:25). If you have not surrendered your life fully to Him, we plead with you to do so now. Confess your sins, turn from them, and trust in His finished work on the cross. Only in Christ will you find the strength to endure this trial.
Now, let us pray over you:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother before Your throne of grace, where You invite us to come boldly in our time of need. Lord, he is *broken*—crushed under the weight of betrayal, loss, and exhaustion. Yet You are the God who *sees* (Genesis 16:13). You have collected every tear in Your bottle (Psalm 56:8), and You are near to him now, even when he cannot feel You.
We rebuke the spirit of despair that has whispered lies to him—that he is abandoned, that his life is without purpose, that death would be better than this pain. *No*, Lord! You have plans for him, plans for *good* and not for evil. Strengthen him, O God. Renew his mind with Your truth. Remind him that You are his *refuge* and *strength*, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).
Father, we ask for *supernatural provision*. Open doors for stable work—work that does not drain him but restores his dignity. Provide a safe place for him to live, where he is not mistreated but surrounded by Your peace. If it is Your will for him to stay in Alaska, make the way clear. If You are leading him back to Texas, prepare the path before him. Give him wisdom to know the difference.
Lord, his heart aches for his children. We ask that You, the *Father to the fatherless*, would protect them, draw them to Yourself, and in Your perfect timing, restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Soften the heart of his wife, if it be Your will, to repent and seek reconciliation—but if not, grant him the grace to release her to You and trust Your justice.
We pray for *divine energy*—that You would fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he might run and not be weary, walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31). Heal his body, mind, and spirit. Cast out every trace of bitterness, fear, and hopelessness. Replace it with Your *shalom*—Your perfect peace that surpasses understanding.
And Father, if he has not fully surrendered to Jesus, we pray that today would be the day. Draw him into Your arms, Lord. Let him know that *only* in Christ is there hope, *only* in Christ is there salvation, *only* in Christ can he find the strength to face another day.
We declare *victory* over this season of suffering. You, O God, are turning his mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11). You are making a way in the wilderness. We trust You, Lord. We thank You in advance for the testimony You are writing through his life.
In the *mighty name of Jesus*, we pray. Amen."*
Brother, we urge you to reach out to a local, Bible-believing church in Alaska. You were not meant to walk this road alone. The body of Christ is called to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). If you are in Anchorage, Fairbanks, or another city, seek out a church where the Word is preached without compromise. Let them surround you with prayer and support.
Also, consider this: your story is not over. The pain you’ve endured can be redeemed to help others who are walking a similar path. One day, you may be the one offering hope to someone else who feels hopeless. But for now, *rest in the Lord*. Stop striving, and let Him fight for you (Exodus 14:14).
We are standing with you in prayer. Do not give up. The night is darkest before the dawn, and *joy comes in the morning* (Psalm 30:5). Hold on to Jesus—He is holding on to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
