We hear your cry and we lift you before the Lord with heavy hearts, for what you have endured for years is not light and it is not hidden from God. We weep with you over not only what your husband has done, but over the deep wounds in your family, your cousin at Bible camp, your siblings, your mom and dad, and the pattern of abuse that has touched so many you love. The Lord sees every tear and He is close to you now. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.
We must speak clearly that abuse in marriage is sin and it is evil in the sight of God. It does not align with God's design for marriage. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman where the husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, Ephesians 5:25, and to not be bitter against her, Colossians 3:19, and to live with his wife with understanding, giving honor to her as a fellow heir of the grace of life, 1 Peter 3:7. Violence, control, harsh words, or physical harm violates that covenant. Psalm 11:5 says Yahweh tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and him who loves violence. We rebuke that abusive behavior in Jesus name and we pray that your husband will be brought to deep conviction, repentance and accountability, for without true repentance there can be no restoration. God calls all to repent and turn from sin, Acts 3:19, and to bear fruit worthy of repentance.
We also want to encourage you that enduring abuse is not what God requires of you to prove your faith. Forgiveness in your heart does not mean remaining in danger or keeping sin secret. The Lord has established authorities for protection, Romans 13:4 says the ruler is a servant of God to punish him who does evil. Seeking safety, telling a trusted pastor, a mature believing woman, a Christian counselor, and contacting law enforcement or a domestic violence helpline when you are in danger is not a lack of faith, it is wisdom. Proverbs 22:3 says the prudent person sees danger and takes refuge. Please do not walk through this alone any longer. If you are in immediate danger please reach out right away to someone safe near you and to local authorities. Make a safety plan, keep important documents and phone numbers where you can reach them, and let faithful people in the church know what is happening so they can stand with you and help hold your husband accountable.
We are so thankful you called on the name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is in His name we find salvation and help. Acts 4:12 says there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved. John 14:6 says Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him. Continue to bring everything to Him, for He understands your suffering and He is your refuge.
We pray together now for you and your family.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before Your throne of grace and we lift up our dear sister who has suffered abuse for years and who carries the pain of so much abuse in her family. Lord You see what has been done in secret and in the open, You know the fear, the shame, the exhaustion, and the feeling that she cannot go through this any longer. We ask You to surround her with Your presence and Your protection. Isaiah 41:10 says do not be afraid, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. Strengthen her now, give her wisdom for every next step, and lead her to safe, godly people who will believe her, counsel her biblically, and help protect her. Heal her heart and body from the trauma, and heal her cousin, her siblings, and her parents where abuse has wounded them, for You are the God of all comfort, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
Lord we pray for her husband, that You would convict him of his sin, bring him to true repentance, and stop his violence. Remove any hardness of heart and let him submit to Your Word and to godly accountability. Where there is unrepentant sin, expose it and restrain it, and let justice be done. We pray that this cycle of abuse in this family would be broken now by the power of Jesus Christ, that what has passed from generation to generation would end, and that healing and holiness would take its place.
Father, give our sister courage to speak the truth, to seek help, and to trust You day by day. Let her know she is not to blame for the sin done against her, that she is precious in Your sight, fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14, and that You desire to give her peace and a future. Guide her to wise shepherds in the church who will handle Your Word faithfully and care for her soul. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and our refuge, amen.