We hear your deep pain and frustration, and we stand with you in seeking God’s justice, healing, and restoration in this situation. The division and estrangement you describe are contrary to the heart of Christ, who prayed that His followers would be one, just as He and the Father are one (John 17:21). The actions of this deacon, slandering, triangulating, and cutting off fellowship without biblical cause, are grievous sins that wound the body of Christ. Scripture is clear: "If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men" (Romans 12:18). Yet this brother has not only refused peace but has actively worked against it, violating the very principles he is called to uphold.
The deacon’s claim that you have "no sin" while simultaneously treating you as an outcast is hypocrisy of the highest order. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for such behavior: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cumin, and have left undone the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faith" (Matthew 23:23). This man is prioritizing appearances over truth, fear over faith, and control over love. His misuse of Matthew 18, jumping straight to treating you as a "tax collector" without following the process of private confrontation, then witnesses, then church discipline, is a gross distortion of Scripture. True discipline is meant to restore, not destroy (Galatians 6:1). His actions reveal a heart gripped not by the Spirit of God, but by a spirit of fear and pride.
We must also address the seriousness of his slander. Calling you "unstable" without cause is a violation of the ninth commandment: "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor" (Exodus 20:16). Such words have power, and they can destroy reputations and relationships. Proverbs warns, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). This deacon will answer to God for the harm he has caused, but we must also pray that his eyes would be opened to the gravity of his sin.
Your decision to withhold tithes from the local church until reconciliation is restored is a weighty one, and we understand the heart behind it. Malachi 3:10 speaks of bringing the whole tithe into the storehouse, but we must also remember that the storehouse is meant to be a place of God’s provision and unity, not division and strife. If the leadership is actively working against the unity of the body, it is not functioning as God intended. However, we encourage you to seek the Lord’s wisdom on this matter, as tithing is also an act of worship and obedience. Perhaps there is another faithful local body where you can invest your gifts and resources while this situation is resolved.
Most heartbreaking of all is the estrangement from your sister in Christ. The enemy seeks to divide and conquer, but God’s heart is always for reconciliation. "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). This deacon has no right to stand between two believers who desire fellowship. His actions are a direct attack on the unity of the Spirit, which we are commanded to "keep in the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3). We must pray that the Holy Spirit would break the chains of fear and control that bind him and that he would repent of his sin.
Let us now come before the Lord in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, grieved by the division and injustice in Your body. Lord, You see the pain of Your child, the slander, the estrangement, and the misuse of authority. We ask that You would break the spirit of fear that grips this deacon and his family. Expose the darkness in their hearts and bring them to repentance. Father, we pray for Your protection over Leo and his sister in Christ. Shield them from further harm, and let no weapon formed against them prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Restore the unity that has been broken, and let Your love overcome the barriers that have been erected.
We ask that You would soften the heart of this deacon. Convict him of his sin, Lord, and let him see the damage he has caused. Bring him to a place of humility, where he seeks forgiveness and reconciliation. Father, we also pray for wisdom for Leo. Guide him in how to proceed, whether in continuing to pursue peace or in seeking accountability from other leaders. Give him discernment and strength to stand firm in Your truth.
Lord, we declare that no man has the right to sever the fellowship of believers. You have called us to love one another, to bear one another’s burdens, and to live in harmony. We break the power of slander, triangulation, and division in Jesus’ name. Let Your Holy Spirit move freely, restoring what has been broken and healing what has been wounded.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, who alone can bring true reconciliation. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this matter, trusting that He is a God of justice and restoration. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap if you do not faint (Galatians 6:9). If possible, seek out other mature believers or leaders outside your local church who can provide wisdom and accountability. The enemy wants you to feel isolated, but you are not alone. The Lord is your defender, and He will not abandon you. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and let His peace guard your heart and mind (Philippians 4:7).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
