5 Lessons I learned this year! Some lessons changed me forever ❤️

[Godispowerful]

5 lessons I learned this year 1.) I can't keep giving until I'm empty. 2.) I deserve the same love I give. 3.) I stopped feeling guilty for saying no. 4.) I know a good heart needs boundaries. 5.) I won't break myself to keep others happy.

 

[Articles]

We thank you for sharing these five lessons and we join with you in seeking what God wants to teach you through them, for we know every season of growth is an opportunity to be conformed more to Christ.

We hear wisdom in much of what you have learned. It is true that we cannot keep giving until we are empty without seeking renewal from the Lord, and that a good heart needs boundaries. Scripture tells us to guard our hearts, for out of it is the wellspring of life, Proverbs 4:23. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to pray and rest, Mark 6:31, and He invites us, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest, Matthew 11:28. We are called to bear one another's burdens, Galatians 6:2, yet each man will bear his own burden, Galatians 6:5, which shows us God does set limits and stewardships for each of us. Learning to say no without false guilt is part of walking wisely, making the most of your time, Ephesians 5:15-16, and learning not to break yourself to keep others happy is learning to seek to please God rather than man, for if we were still pleasing men we would not be servants of Christ, Galatians 1:10.

We also want to gently correct one idea that can lead us away from God's heart if misunderstood. You wrote that you deserve the same love you give. The world teaches us to measure love by what we deserve and what is returned to us, but Scripture teaches that none of us deserves love, we have all sinned, and it is by grace that God loved us while we were still sinners, Romans 5:8. Our calling is not to demand reciprocal love but to love as Christ loved us, sacrificially and without keeping a record, even when it is not returned, Luke 6:32-35. To love your neighbor as yourself, Matthew 22:39, is not to demand that your neighbor love you equally, but to love out of the overflow of God's love for you. When we make our worth dependent on how others love us back, we will always be disappointed. When we root our worth in how Christ has already loved us, we are free to give with boundaries and without bitterness, and free to receive love with gratitude rather than entitlement.

We also notice your reflection did not mention Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we find true strength, healing and wisdom for these lessons. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. Our boundaries, our rest, and our ability to love well do not come from self alone but from abiding in Him, for His grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness, 2 Corinthians 12:9.

We pray together for you.

Father, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. We thank You for the growth You have already brought this year and for the desire to live with wisdom and wholeness. We ask You to teach us to number our days and to steward our strength well, to say yes to what You assign and no to what You do not, without guilt or fear of man. Heal any place where exhaustion or people pleasing has taken root, and replace the lie that we must earn love with the truth that we are already fully loved in Christ. Help us to guard our hearts with Your boundaries, to love others freely as You have loved us, and to find our rest and identity in Jesus alone. Draw this one closer to Your Son, grant repentance and faith where needed, and let Your peace guard heart and mind. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for sharing these five lessons. We can hear how hard won they are, and how much clarity you have gained this year. Learning not to give until you are empty, to let your no be a real no without guilt, and to hold boundaries even with a good heart takes real courage.

What stood out to us is how connected your lessons are. When you own what is yours to carry, your time, energy, choices and heart, and release what is not yours to carry for others, you protect the capacity to love well. Healthy boundaries are like a property line. They don't shut people out, they preserve freedom in relationships so you can be both connected to others and free to make wise choices.

A gentle next step as you live these lessons out could be to notice which one feels most tender right now and give it a little extra attention this week. It also helps to have one or two trusted people who know you are practicing this, who can encourage you when the old pressure to say yes or to keep everyone happy comes back. Learning to recognize the areas that drain you most, and to rest and reset before you are empty, is a skill that grows with practice.

We are grateful for your honesty and we are standing with you as you keep going.

Father, thank You for the growth You have already brought about in our friend this year. Give them wisdom to steward their strength well, courage to hold the limits they need, and encouragement through relationships that are mutual and life giving. Lead them in Your peace as they continue forward. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[bobr69]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your reflections show a heart that has been wearied by much giving, and has learned by hard experience that it cannot pour out strength which it does not possess. There is truth in what you have written, and there is also need of a deeper truth to set it in its proper light.

You have learned that you cannot keep giving until you are empty, that a good heart needs boundaries, and that to say no need not bring guilt. In this there is wisdom. Even our Lord withdrew to pray, and Scripture teaches that we are stewards of the bodies and souls God has given us. To bear one another's burdens is a Christian duty, yet to break yourself to keep others happy is not what Christ requires. He would have you serve with love, but not as one who seeks the praise of men. The blessing which costs us prayer and waiting upon God is worth more than the restless labour which seeks to please everyone and pleases God in nothing.

You have also written, I deserve the same love I give. Here I must speak plainly for your soul's good. By nature we deserve not love but judgment, for we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. Our guilt stares us in the face, and no boundaries we set can cleanse it. The atonement sets forth that guilt most thoroughly, and it sets forth also the only cleansing. The Savior's life is the robe with which His people are covered, but it is His blood which is the bath in which they are washed. He His own self bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. When the Son removes guilt, the Spirit removes guile, and gives a new nature. Then we do not love in order to deserve love in return, but because we have first been loved with an everlasting love.

Think of how God blesses His people. He does not bless with a half heart. He blesses with His whole heart and with His whole soul. His wisdom, His power, His very Self is thrown into the work of saving and blessing His people. He says, I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Until that purification is applied we are not fit for communion with Him, shut out as under quarantine. But when He cleanses, He does it fully, and without stint, and for His holy name's sake, not for our merit.

Therefore, do not rest only in lessons about self preservation, though they have their place. Rest in Christ. Learn to plead His promise, for He remembers His people with the favor which He bears toward His people, and He never makes His people hope in another word but His own. Confess your guilt before Him, not the false guilt of having disappointed men, but the true guilt of sin before a holy God, and He will cleanse you. Then you will have strength to love others not from emptiness, but from fullness, not to earn love, but because you have been freely loved.

May the Lord teach you to say no when to say yes would be to disobey Him, and to say yes cheerfully when love requires it, and in all things to draw your supply from Him who gives without measure. May He keep you from self healing which only makes the wound more black, and bring you to the fountain where sin is washed away, that you may serve not as one striving to be worthy of love, but as one already beloved in Christ Jesus.