Ok. So how was everyones first day. I thought that I was going to tell you all how on fire I am getting resy to embark on this. WOW. Well first I couldn't sleep. Then h calls me in middle of rain to tell me I can have car if I want. Then tell me he isn't going to bring it to me. So I have to find my own way there. The I can't find my car keys so I blame my son. My youngest son's daddy takes me to get my car. I feel so guilty because he has to tell half truth to wife so he can take me. I.e. He has to take a lady up road but not who because it will cause problems. So I am feeling bad for that. Also his oldest son is now staying with me. He is trying to engourage me but all I can do is cry. Get there and h is not there. So I sit in rain and wait. Then I come home make off to children. Then I try to have converstion with h. Ask can we talk instead of text. And he gets angry. Then I take son to awards ceromont and hit the car along the way and break mirror so we are showered with glass. So I drop him off and go to meeting with client. Wait in Lobby for 20 mins. Then secretary calls client for him to tell me he forgot about appointment and that contract they have they are not going to sign but do some adhoch hours instead. So I am 3 months behind in rent. Behind in lights phone cable cell internet and loan. And now no contract. My son had an attitude and tells me he works and I need to check myself before I say anything to him. Because in my house the tail wags the dog. He gets to do what he wants. And he ignores me or shout etc. At me because I am nothing unless I have to pick him up. Or do for him.
What at day. So I turn to what I normally do for solace. my thorns in my side. And I go to a quiet place and cry. And scream and cry some more. I think of paul and his thorn in his side. And why God never removed it. I look on line and want to post and am scared because I see all these posts says how much of a woman of God I am. And I wonder Am I?
So paul and David come to mind. Both had thorns in their sides. Both had weaknesses they coundnt over come. Both cried to God for mercy. As I do so often. So do I beg God to remove my thorn or accept is as what he will use continually to humble me. I still don't know the answer to that question. But for tonight I would like for us all to think about what is our thorn in our side? Why can't we shake it? I'd there a reason why God won't remove it?
Tomorrow is another day. And I will get up whether I want to or not and I will seek ABBA again.
Sorry for this post. I wasn't going to post it. But I felt lead to. Because we all fall, we all have thorns and we need to know this. I don't know why God wants me to post this , but I do feel lead to. I hope it helps someone.
Good night. See you amm in the morning.
Anthonette
What at day. So I turn to what I normally do for solace. my thorns in my side. And I go to a quiet place and cry. And scream and cry some more. I think of paul and his thorn in his side. And why God never removed it. I look on line and want to post and am scared because I see all these posts says how much of a woman of God I am. And I wonder Am I?
So paul and David come to mind. Both had thorns in their sides. Both had weaknesses they coundnt over come. Both cried to God for mercy. As I do so often. So do I beg God to remove my thorn or accept is as what he will use continually to humble me. I still don't know the answer to that question. But for tonight I would like for us all to think about what is our thorn in our side? Why can't we shake it? I'd there a reason why God won't remove it?
Tomorrow is another day. And I will get up whether I want to or not and I will seek ABBA again.
Sorry for this post. I wasn't going to post it. But I felt lead to. Because we all fall, we all have thorns and we need to know this. I don't know why God wants me to post this , but I do feel lead to. I hope it helps someone.
Good night. See you amm in the morning.
Anthonette
