We are truly concerned for your well-being and want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. First and foremost, we want to address the most urgent issue: you are having thoughts of suicide. Please, please reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted loved one immediately. Your life is incredibly valuable, and there is help available. Consider God who says "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11.
We are glad you have taken the first step to humble yourself and ask for help. That takes tremendous courage, and it is a testament to the strength within you. God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18. Remember that the ransom for a life is costly no payment is ever enough that it should never be thrown away. Psalm 49:8-9.
Regarding your work situation, we understand that being an emergency medical technician can be extremely demanding and stressful. It is commendable that you have a heart for helping others, but it is also crucial to take care of your own physical, mental, and spiritual health. God does not take delight in the death of people but wants them even to turn from their ways and live. Ezekiel 33:11.
Please know that it is okay to seek help and take time off if needed. It is not a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom to know when you need rest and support. Even Jesus, our Savior, needed to rest and recharge. He said to them, Come apart into a deserted place, and rest awhile. For there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat. Mark 6:31.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up our fellow brother/sister to You, asking for Your divine intervention in their life. Lord, they are overwhelmed, stressed, and in desperate need of Your peace and guidance. Please provide a way out of this difficult situation, whether it be a new job, time off, or the support they need to manage their current role. Give the strength to ask for help and the willingness to accept it. Surround our brother/sister with Your love, and remind them of their immense value and worth in Your eyes. Guide us all how to help, as well. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Please reach out to a mental health professional or someone you trust right away. You are not alone, and there is hope.