You say dont give up. Ok for months on end I have prayed. I am waking up, I know the Lord wakes me up, Im not dumb ok. So tell me, to walk 6 miles to school, and back, and the people run out of there so quick and leave yu standing in the dark because they are afraid you are gonna ask them for a ride to the busstop and there is no busstops where you go to school its a 4 mile walk, yu tell me that is of the Lord. And these same people sit and talk about how good GOD is to them but yet wont even offer yu a ride, k they prosper, travel, have things, are happy, but I am the one who is supposed to sit here and pray ok.
Tell me when your child no longer wants to visit and share a 1 bedroom apartment (and you cant blame the child) with mommy because daddy, his other woman, his family, are living in the home making you happy, having people around, and your child no longer wnats to come to your apartment, and you dont force a child to do this, thats the Lord. When daddy wont even give you a ride and your going the same area he is but would rather drop off the child and give you busfare to ride the bus in the heat with your child, just to avoid giving you a ride, thats the Lord. But yet daddy is prospering, has everything he want, funds to take care of the child, people around, and he is the one who cheated and now has his other woman in the home you and his were in, and puts yu out, that is the Lord. But yet I am the one who sits alone with no contact with the outside world, but thats the Lord.
When you have foodstamps and cant get to the store to get food because the nearest store is 3 miles away and the last time I pushed the cart 3 miles home in the heat, thats the Lord. So the 1 or 2 people you know come right near your home to pick up someone else to go to church not far from you, then call you and let yu know they are in your area but wont offer you a ride to church, knowing you love this church so much, and picking someone else up in your area, thats the Lord. No this person still has their car, apartment, everything. But yet this person brags about how good GOD is to them but wont even give you a ride when they are in your area, but will call you and let you know they are in your area, how can this be the Lord? How can they brag about how good the Lord is to them but yet they wont even give you a ride to church. So you sit and tell me this is the Lord, and the Lord lets this selfish bas.... prosper and makes you suffer, how can you tell me this is the Lord?
You give me every excuse for me suffering. So why is everyone who is doing me wrong prospering? So you tell me to keep reading my bible, praying, so I could lose what, Ive lost my child ok, my child doesnt want to be here ok, so now I am on foot walking for miles daily, I cant get a car, a job, and if I had a job how do I get there, how do I get to an interview?
You know I lost everything, the ex put me out of our home, the friends convinced me to change jobs when I was suicidal and depressed, losing the best job I ever had, they repossessed my car, walking 12 miles a day, no food cause I cant get to a store to use my foodstamps, my child doesnt want to be here and now I know daddy wont help with the rent because my child doesnt want to be here, so about to be homeless, you tell me this is the Lord. How can yu expect me to believe I ll ever get another job that is perfect for me. You want me to sit and shovel dirt or beg, when I was dong so good, paying my tithes, doing everything right, reading my bible, praying, and look where I am. So you tell me that the enemy comes in and has me believe that GOD IS NOt good, k, how am I suffering and losing so much if I have done everything right. K, how can you expect me to believe that the Lord would want want me to suffer like I am. The Lord is too good and would not let me suffer. GOD IS A GOOD GOD. He doesnt want people to go thru all this. No so dont sit and try to convince me that the Lord would let me suffer, he wouldnt. He is too good to do that to me. Yes, he wakes me up, you know what my life is, sit in the apartment 24 hrs, when im not walking 12 miles somewhere, sit here by myself, no contact with the outside world, no one calls, comes over, and cant get anywhere, and tell me this is the Lord ok, while other4s go places, come near my home, wont stop by, wont even hardly speak, but they prosper. So no, dont you dare tell me that the Lord intends for me to live like this and tell me why is the ones who do wrong prospering but not me. So dont you dare put the Lord down and tell me he would let me go thru this, he is not doing this to me.
