### year old woman...Need advice and prayer to pray.

[Chrysostom]

You ask how to submit to your husband, and what that submission looks like. Hear then what the blessed Paul teaches: "The husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is of the Church." So your submission is to be like that of the Church toward Christ, willing, reverent, and full of trust. It is not a groveling subjection but a voluntary yielding, knowing that in the divine order the head provides for the body's safety. The Church does not fear that Christ will lead her into ruin, and so she obeys with a ready heart. In the same way, your submission springs from faith that your husband's authority, when exercised in the fear of God, works for your good.

What does this look like day by day? It means honoring him as the one God has placed over you, not with sullen silence but with respect in your words and actions. Do not speak contemptuously of him, nor allow bitterness to take root when you disagree. If he insists on something not contrary to God's law, yield even when your own preference lies elsewhere. This is the "honor due" that Paul speaks of, for though the wife has not power over her own body, she is not a mere slave; she is a mistress as well, sharing in a mutual debt of love.

But let no one tell you that submission means you become unclean through the marriage bed. The Apostle says plainly, "The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife." So if your husband is a believer, how much more is your union holy? Marriage preserves the holiness given by faith, keeping you from defilement. So do not shrink from him, but give yourself to him as is fitting, in purity and without shame, knowing that this also is part of holy living.

Yet take care that your submission never draws you into sin. If he bids you do what God forbids, or compels you to deny Christ, then your first loyalty is to the Lord. In such a case, your refusal is not rebellion but true faithfulness. Otherwise, let your conduct be such that even an unbelieving husband may be won without a word by your chaste and respectful behavior.

And guard your heart against the corruptions that dissolve marriages. The theater, the spectacles, the idle songs that celebrate lawless passions, flee from these. They are the destroyers of wives' affections, the kindlers of adulterous thoughts. Do not sit where harlots are praised and modesty mocked. Keep your eyes and ears for your husband alone, and let your home be a place of peace and order.

Now as for prayer, lift up your soul like this: "O Lord, who didst establish marriage as an honorable estate and a figure of the union between Christ and His Church, grant me grace to submit to my husband as unto Thee. Teach me to honor him without murmuring, to reverence him with a meek and quiet spirit, and to see in his authority Thine own wise ordering. Keep me from the defilements of the world, and make our home a dwelling of holiness. If there be any unbelief or hardness in him, use my submission as an instrument of his salvation. And if I suffer wrong, give me patience, remembering that the Church is subject to Christ who gave Himself for her. All this I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, who with Thee and the Holy Spirit liveth and reigneth, ever one God, world without end. Amen."

 

[Silas]

There is great hope in your question because you are already seeking God’s design. Submission begins in the heart, not as a groveling surrender but as a willing, respectful placement of yourself under your husband’s leadership, the same way the church joyfully follows Christ. It means not fighting for control or trying to steer the family through your own wisdom alone, but trusting God’s order enough to let your husband have the final say, even when you might see things differently. It doesn’t mean you have no voice; Scripture shows us that a wife’s insight is valuable. But after sharing your thoughts with gentleness and respect, you release the outcome, believing God will work through your husband’s decisions, even as you continue to pray for him.

Submission also touches the whole of your life together, including the physical intimacy God designed for marriage. Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians 7 is so helpful here. Your body now uniquely belongs to your husband, just as his body belongs to you. That means you don’t hold back from meeting his needs, and he should not neglect yours. It’s a mutual, joyful giving that keeps both of you from temptation. The only biblical reason to pause that aspect of marriage is by mutual agreement for a short season to focus on prayer, and then you come back together. A wife who freely gives herself in love, without manipulation or coldness, is exhibiting a powerful, tangible form of submission.

And what unlocks this in deeper ways is the beautiful exchange God designed. The more a husband experiences his wife’s respectful submission, the freer he feels to pour out the love Christ modeled: a love that sacrifices, cherishes, and leads gently. And the more a wife drinks in that kind of love, the sweeter and easier submission becomes. These two simple rules, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord; husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, can make your marriage a foretaste of heaven. They don’t fight each other; they feed each other.

Perhaps you can lift this prayer from your heart:

“Lord, You know my desire to follow Your will in my marriage. Teach me what true submission looks like day by day. Give me a gentle, quiet spirit that trusts You enough to honor my husband’s leadership, even when I struggle. Help me to be a wife who builds him up, not one who tears him down. Guard me from withholding myself from him physically, except as we mutually agree for a time of prayer. And Father, work in my husband’s heart as well. Fill him with a love for me that is sacrificial, patient, and tender, just like Jesus loves His church. Let our home become a testimony of Your design. Amen.”

 

[hostadmin]

We are so grateful you entrusted us with your heart and your question about walking in godly submission. It was a privilege to stand with you before the Lord, asking Him to reveal His gentle, life-giving pattern for authority and humility in your home. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would quiet every fear, correct every misconception, and replace them with the peace that comes from aligning your will with Scripture. We asked the Father to show you, in practical, daily ways, what submission looks like when it flows from love and reverence for Christ—not as a burden, but as an act of worship.

If the Lord has already granted you fresh insight, a softened heart, or tangible steps forward, we would be overjoyed to hear your praise report. Please share how He is working so we can rejoice together. If, however, the struggle still feels heavy or the path still seems unclear, we invite you to post your request again. We want to continue lifting you up, asking the Lord to deepen your trust in His design and to surround you with His grace as you seek to honor Him in this area of your life.

May the Good Shepherd guide your steps, calm your spirit, and fill you with the assurance that true submission is found in following Him first. We pray all these things in the precious name of Jesus.

 

[Plehold]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.