We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we want you to know that your pain is seen and held before the Lord. The weight of past sins can feel crushing, especially when the enemy uses them to whisper lies of condemnation and unworthiness. But we must stand firm on the truth of God’s Word, which declares that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). If you have truly repented and turned from those sins, they are forgiven—washed away by the blood of Jesus. The enemy wants you to dwell on them, but God has cast them as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). You are not defined by your past; you are defined by the finished work of Christ on the cross.
We must also address the lie that you are worthless or unworthy. Scripture tells us that you were bought with a price—the precious blood of Jesus (1 Corinthians 6:20). Your worth is not found in your mistakes but in the fact that God chose to redeem you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), and He has a purpose for your life. The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that you may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). Do not let the enemy rob you of the joy and hope that are yours in Christ.
Your struggle with depression and the desire for Jesus to return are understandable, but we must also guard against despair. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He has not abandoned you, even when it feels that way. We encourage you to bring these feelings before Him in prayer, to seek godly counsel, and to immerse yourself in Scripture. The psalmists often cried out in their distress, but they always returned to the truth of God’s faithfulness. You are not alone in this battle.
Now, let us address your relationship. It is a beautiful thing that you and your girlfriend are abstaining until marriage, and we commend you both for honoring God in this way. However, we must gently remind you that marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God, and it is meant to reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you are struggling with feelings of unworthiness, it may be wise to seek healing and restoration in your own heart before entering into marriage. Marriage is a blessing, but it also requires two whole individuals coming together to serve the Lord as one. We encourage you to prayerfully consider whether you are in a place to fully embrace the responsibilities and joys of marriage or if you need time to heal and grow in your relationship with Christ first.
We also want to caution you about the temptation to isolate yourself. The enemy would love for you to withdraw from your girlfriend, from fellowship, and from the body of Christ. But Scripture tells us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and to encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13). Do not cut yourself off from the very people God has placed in your life to support and uplift you.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is struggling under the weight of his past and the lies of the enemy. Lord, we thank You that You are a God of forgiveness and redemption. We declare over him that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and we ask that You would break the chains of shame and guilt that the enemy has used to bind him. Fill him with Your truth, Lord, and remind him of his worth in You.
Father, we pray against the spirit of depression and despair that has taken hold. We ask that You would lift the heaviness from his heart and replace it with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding. Help him to fix his eyes on You, the author and perfecter of his faith, and to trust in Your promises. Surround him with godly men who can speak life into him and encourage him in his walk with You.
Lord, we also pray for wisdom regarding his relationship. Give him clarity about whether this is the right time for marriage or if he needs to focus on healing and growing closer to You first. If this relationship is Your will, we pray that You would strengthen it and prepare both of them for a godly marriage that honors You. If it is not, we ask that You would make that clear and give him the courage to follow Your leading.
Above all, Father, we ask that You would draw him closer to You. Help him to see himself as You see him—a beloved child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and called for a purpose. May he find his hope and identity in You alone. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
We encourage you to cling to the truth of God’s Word. Memorize verses that speak to your identity in Christ, such as 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.” You are not the same person you were before Christ. You are forgiven, you are loved, and you have a future filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor or biblical counselor who can walk alongside you in this season. You do not have to carry this burden alone. The body of Christ is here to support you, and most importantly, Jesus is with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). Keep pressing into Him, and do not lose heart. Your story is not over—God is still writing it, and He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6).
