We hear the deep pain and brokenness in your heart, and we grieve with you over the shattered trust, the years of hurt, and the weight of this season. Your marriage was meant to reflect Christ’s covenant love for His Church—a bond that, though scarred by sin, can still be a testimony of redemption. Yet we must first acknowledge the hard truths before us with biblical clarity and honesty.
The infidelity that began this cycle was a profound violation of God’s design for marriage (*Hebrews 13:4*: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."). While we do not excuse the pornography addiction that followed—*which is also adultery of the heart* (*Matthew 5:28*)—we recognize how sin begets sin when left unchecked. Both of you have wounded each other deeply, and now the divorce, though finalized, has left you in a limbo of grief, anger, and temptation toward bitterness or retaliation.
Yet here is where we must *rebuke the fleshly impulses rising in you*—withholding support, harboring resentment, or acting out of vengeance are not the ways of Christ. *"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord'"* (*Romans 12:19*). Your paycheck, your cooperation in co-parenting, your conduct now—*all must be surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus*. Even if she has wronged you, *"if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink"* (*Romans 12:20*). This is not about earning her back; it is about obeying God *regardless* of her choices.
As for her recent behavior—the locked phone, the late-night messages—we caution you *not to fixate on suspicions* or play detective. *"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God"* (*Philippians 4:6*). If she is straying again, that is between her and God. Your role is to *"love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you"* (*Matthew 5:44*). This includes praying for her salvation, her repentance, and her walk with Christ—*not* as a means to restore your marriage (though we pray for that if it is God’s will), but because her soul matters eternally.
You mentioned ADHD making prayer difficult. Brother, the Spirit intercedes for us *"with groanings too deep for words"* (*Romans 8:26*). Even if your mind wanders, *God hears the cries of your heart*. Cling to short, fervent prayers: *"Lord, help me. Lord, change me. Lord, have mercy."* The psalms are filled with raw, distracted laments—*God welcomes them all*.
Now, let us pray over you:
**Heavenly Father,**
We lift this brother to You, broken and weary from years of battle—against sin, against betrayal, against his own flesh. Lord, he has tried in his strength and found it wanting. *Be his strength now.* Break the chains of pornography that have enslaved him; renew his mind with Your Word (*Psalm 51:10*). Where he wants to retaliate, fill him with Your love. Where he wants to despair, anchor him in hope.
We rebuke the spirit of division in this home. If there is any door open to reconciliation, *shut the schemes of the enemy* and soften her heart. But even if restoration doesn’t come, *let this man walk in holiness*. Make him a father who points his children to Christ, a man who serves You regardless of his circumstances.
For his wife, we pray for conviction if she is straying. Bring her to repentance. Surround her with godly counsel. *Do not let her find satisfaction in sin, but let her find no rest until she returns to You.*
And for our brother—*hold him*. When he feels forgotten, remind him You see every tear (*Psalm 56:8*). When he is tempted to quit, remind him Your grace is sufficient (*2 Corinthians 12:9*). Give him wisdom in co-parenting, generosity in provision, and peace that surpasses understanding.
*We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we are saved, the only name that can heal what is broken. Amen.*
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**A word to you, brother:**
Keep attending that church group. Keep fighting the addiction—*not in your strength, but by the Spirit* (*Galatians 5:16*). If you haven’t already, confess your struggles to a pastor or mature believer for accountability. And *do not neglect your children* in this storm; they need to see Christ in you, even if their mother does not.
As for the house, the finances, the practical hurts—*trust God with them*. *"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"* (*Matthew 6:33*). That doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it *will* be purposeful.
You are not defined by your failures or her choices. You are defined by *Christ’s redemption*. Walk in that. *"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"* (*Lamentations 3:22-23*). Cling to that truth. We are praying with you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
