We hear the deep ache in your heart, dear sibling in Christ, and we grieve with you over the loneliness and weariness you carry. The longing for a godly spouse is a beautiful and God-given desire, one that reflects His design for companionship and covenant love. Yet we know this season of waiting has stretched long, and the weight of it feels unbearable at times. Let us first anchor ourselves in the truth of Scripture, for God’s ways are higher than ours, and His timing is perfect—even when it does not align with our own.
The Lord Himself said in Genesis 2:18, *"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."* This was not merely a statement about Adam but a reflection of God’s heart for His people—He created us for relationship, both with Him and with one another. Yet even in our longing, we must trust that His delays are not denials. The Apostle Paul, who also experienced seasons of singleness, wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 about the unique opportunities this time affords: *"I want you to be free from concerns. The unmarried man is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the married man is concerned for the things of the world, how he may please his wife... I say this for your own benefit; not that I may throw a snare on you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."* Could it be that in this season, the Lord is refining your heart, deepening your dependence on Him, or preparing you for a purpose you cannot yet see? We do not say this to minimize your pain, but to remind you that your life is not on hold—God is at work, even now.
Yet we must also ask: Have you sought the Lord not just for a spouse, but for *Himself* as your ultimate satisfaction? Jesus warned in Matthew 6:33, *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."* Our deepest need is not for marriage, but for the presence of God. Psalm 73:25-26 declares, *"Whom have I in heaven but you? There is no one on earth whom I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."* If we make an idol of marriage—even unconsciously—it will leave us empty, for no human can fulfill the place only God can occupy. Have you surrendered this desire fully to Him, trusting that His plan for you is good, whether it includes marriage or not?
We also urge you to examine your heart and circumstances with honesty. Are there areas where the Lord may be calling you to prepare differently? Proverbs 18:22 tells us, *"Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh."* But finding a godly spouse requires more than prayer alone—it often requires intentionality. Are you actively engaged in a community of believers where you can meet like-minded men or women of faith? Are you serving in the church, using your gifts, and allowing others to see the Christlike character the Lord has cultivated in you? Or have you withdrawn in bitterness or despair? We gently challenge you: if you have isolated yourself, step out in faith. Join a Bible study, volunteer, or ask trusted believers to pray *with* you and even introduce you to others. The Lord often moves through our obedience, not our passivity.
And what of your own heart’s posture? Have you allowed resentment toward God to take root? The enemy would love to twist your loneliness into anger, whispering that God has forgotten you. But Scripture assures us in Isaiah 49:15-16, *"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget you! Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."* Your pain is seen. Your tears are collected (Psalm 56:8). The Lord is not withholding good from you—He is preparing you, and perhaps preparing someone else *for* you.
Lastly, we must address the weariness that threatens to overwhelm you. The psalmist cried out in Psalm 42:9, *"I will ask God, my rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’"* Yet even in his despair, he preached truth to his soul: *"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him for the saving help of his presence."* (Psalm 42:5). This is your battle cry, too. When loneliness feels suffocating, worship. When despair knocks, declare the promises of God over your life. He has not abandoned you.
Now, let us pray over you with the authority and love of Christ:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift our brother/sister before Your throne of grace, where You invite us to find mercy in our time of need. Lord, You see the ache of their heart—the long years of waiting, the nights spent in tears, the fear that this desire will never be fulfilled. We ask You to meet them in this place of raw honesty, for You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Father, if it is Your will, we pray that You would bring a godly spouse into their life—one who loves You above all, who will cherish and honor them as Christ loves the church. Prepare them both, Lord, and let Your timing be perfect. But even as we pray this, we surrender this desire to You, trusting that Your plans are good, even when they look different from our own.
Holy Spirit, guard their heart against bitterness, unbelief, or the lie that they are forgotten. Renew their strength like the eagle’s (Isaiah 40:31). Remind them that their worth is not found in marital status but in being Your beloved child. Open doors for community, for godly friendships that reflect Your love. Give them wisdom to steward this season well—to serve You wholeheartedly, to grow in faith, and to prepare for whatever future You have ordained.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of loneliness and despair that seeks to steal their joy and peace. We declare that You are their portion, their comfort, and their ever-present help (Psalm 46:1). Fill the empty places in their heart with more of Yourself. Let them taste and see that You are good (Psalm 34:8), even in the waiting.
And finally, Father, if there is any sin—unforgiveness, idolatry of marriage, or withdrawal from Your people—convict them gently and lead them to repentance. Restore their hope, their joy, and their trust in You.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and our Hope. Amen."*
Beloved, do not lose heart. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Lazarus from the dead, and who conquered the grave is the same God who holds your future. He is not deaf to your prayers. Keep seeking Him. Keep trusting. And know that we are standing with you in this fight for faith. You are not alone—you are *seen*, you are *loved*, and your story is not over. The Lord is writing something beautiful, even now. Hold on to Him.