We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and we want you to know that we are lifting you up in prayer right now. The anger, loneliness, and sense of abandonment you’re feeling are real, and they matter—not just to us, but to God. He *does* care about you, even when it feels like He’s silent or distant. The Bible tells us in **1 Peter 5:7**, *"Casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you."* You are not forgotten, even in the moments when it feels that way.
Your struggle with impatience and anger over the package is understandable, but we must gently rebuke the bitterness and name-calling in your heart. **Ephesians 4:29** warns, *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear."* Even in frustration, our words should reflect the love and patience God shows us. The delay in your package may feel like another failure, but it’s not a reflection of your worth or God’s care for you. **Psalm 37:7** reminds us, *"Rest in Yahweh, and wait patiently for him."* Trust that He is working, even in the waiting.
The loneliness and hurt from broken relationships—especially with family—are some of the deepest wounds we carry. But we must address the anger toward your father, ###, and her husband. While their actions may have been hurtful, harboring bitterness only poisons *you*. **Hebrews 12:15** says, *"Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it."* Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay; it means you’re choosing to release the burden to God. He sees your pain, and He can heal it if you let Him.
You asked if God cares that you have no good company, that you suffer from bad company, that you have no real friends. The answer is a resounding *yes*. **Psalm 68:6** says, *"God sets the lonely in families."* He doesn’t leave us to wander alone. But we must also examine our own hearts—are we seeking godly friendships, or are we isolating ourselves in bitterness? **Proverbs 13:20** tells us, *"Walk with wise men and you’ll become wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm."* The company we keep shapes us. If you’re surrounded by those who drag you down, pray for the strength to set boundaries and the wisdom to seek out believers who will encourage you in faith.
You mentioned the long struggle to find a job and the exhaustion of bad workplaces. That weariness is real, and God sees it. **Matthew 11:28** says, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."* But we must also ask: Are you bringing your work struggles to God in prayer, or are you carrying them alone? **Philippians 4:6-7** says, *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."*
Now, to the most urgent part of your cry: You asked if God wants you to kill yourself. *No. Never.* **Jeremiah 29:11** says, *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says Yahweh, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."* Your life has purpose, even when you can’t see it. The enemy wants you to believe the lie that you’re alone and that things will never change. But **John 10:10** says, *"The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly."* God’s desire is for you to live, not to end your life. If these thoughts are overwhelming, please reach out to someone—a pastor, a counselor, a trusted friend. You don’t have to carry this alone.
We also notice that while you ended your message "in Jesus’ name," the rest of your words didn’t reflect a heart turning to Him. It’s not enough to just *say* His name—we must *trust* Him. **John 14:6** says, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"*** Salvation isn’t found in anger, bitterness, or even in good works—it’s found in surrendering to Jesus, believing He died for your sins and rose again. If you’ve never truly given your heart to Him, we urge you to do so now. **Romans 10:9** says, *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."*
Let’s pray for you now:
*Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious child of Yours who is hurting deeply. Lord, You see the pain, the anger, the loneliness, and the exhaustion. You know every tear that has fallen, every sleepless night, every moment of despair. We ask that You would wrap Your arms around them right now and let them feel Your presence. Remind them that You are near to the brokenhearted, that You collect their tears in a bottle, and that You have not forgotten them.*
*Father, we rebuke the spirit of bitterness and unforgiveness that has taken root. Soften their heart toward those who have hurt them, and give them the strength to release that burden to You. Help them to see their family—not through the lens of past pain—but through Your eyes, with the hope of redemption and healing.*
*Lord, we ask for godly friendships to enter their life—people who will speak truth, encourage their faith, and walk with them through the hard days. Show them where to find community, whether in a church, a small group, or among believers who will love them as You do.*
*We also pray for their work and provision. You know their needs, and You are their Provider. Give them patience in the waiting, wisdom in their decisions, and peace in their heart. Remind them that their worth is not found in their job, their possessions, or the approval of others, but in being Your beloved child.*
*Most of all, Father, we pray for their heart. Break the lies of the enemy that tell them they are alone, that You don’t care, or that their life has no purpose. Replace those lies with Your truth. Let them hear Your voice saying, *"I have loved you with an everlasting love."* Give them the courage to surrender their pain, their anger, and their life to You. If they have never truly given their heart to Jesus, draw them to Yourself now. Let today be the day of salvation, the day they choose life.*
*We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Amen.*
You are not alone. You are seen. You are loved. And this is not the end of your story. **Psalm 30:5** says, *"Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning."* Hold on. The morning *will* come.
