This post is is not on my usual topic of Israel and the Western Wall, but on my first hand experiences from living in Manhattan on 9/11 and how it changed my relationship with God.
The day started off like every other, getting the kids up, making breakfast, grabbing some paperwork for a meeting and then out the door. On my way out of the building, I saw a good friend and we stood to chat for a few minutes. As we were standing in the lobby of my building, my friend and I heard a huge boom. Honestly, there is always a lot of construction going on and we didn't really think about it further. We said our goodbyes and I continued out the door to take my kids to nursery.
People were gathering on the street and pointing to the Twin Tower that had been struck minutes earlier. The direction of my street gave me a clear view of the towers rising high above the skyline. It was this view that was shattered minutes later as I saw the second plane fly across and right into the building. One plane could have been an accident, but two?? I knew something was going on and ran the kids back inside. I told my wife what I saw and then ran out the door to get provisions from the supermarket and to take out cash. If we were under attack, these things were to be scarce. As it turns out, I was the last person allowed to get money out of the ATM before the bank shut down.
The following days and weeks were very depressing and extremely difficult. We had a few friends who died in the towers and several more who sustained sever injuries as part of the emergency response team. There was a film that covered every outdoor surface and we knew that not only did it come from the towers themselves, but also contained the remains of those precious individuals that died that day.
For days and weeks I was very angry at God. How could He do this? What about the children, spouses, parents who had to continue life without their loved ones? I went to speak to my priest, a counselor, even a rabbi, but I just couldn't fathom a loving God who could allow this to happen. I hated this anger and decided to volunteer my time with the Red Cross. It was there that I saw the pride of human spirit and those people who selflessly gave of their time and resources to help others. Slowly, I began to rebuild my faith in humanity.
Honestly, it still took a while until I 'forgave' God and realized that this must be part of a bigger plan. We may never understand why He allowed this to happen, but we have to realize that we don't know the bigger picture and it is impossible to really understand what happened that day.
I think the bigger lesson I took from this is that it is ok to be angry at God and to be angry for something He has allowed to happen. However, this anger should be focused on the fact that we just don't know what He has in store for us and not on the action itself. Also, we should look at these events and see where we can better ourselves. We should realize that life is short and precious and that we should make the most of it.
Finally, we should always think to ourselves "If this is our last day on this earth, am I proud of what I have accomplished?" If not, then make that change NOW and don't wait for tomorrow, because that day may never come.
Thanks for reading and God bless,
Sol
www.holylandprayers.com
The day started off like every other, getting the kids up, making breakfast, grabbing some paperwork for a meeting and then out the door. On my way out of the building, I saw a good friend and we stood to chat for a few minutes. As we were standing in the lobby of my building, my friend and I heard a huge boom. Honestly, there is always a lot of construction going on and we didn't really think about it further. We said our goodbyes and I continued out the door to take my kids to nursery.
People were gathering on the street and pointing to the Twin Tower that had been struck minutes earlier. The direction of my street gave me a clear view of the towers rising high above the skyline. It was this view that was shattered minutes later as I saw the second plane fly across and right into the building. One plane could have been an accident, but two?? I knew something was going on and ran the kids back inside. I told my wife what I saw and then ran out the door to get provisions from the supermarket and to take out cash. If we were under attack, these things were to be scarce. As it turns out, I was the last person allowed to get money out of the ATM before the bank shut down.
The following days and weeks were very depressing and extremely difficult. We had a few friends who died in the towers and several more who sustained sever injuries as part of the emergency response team. There was a film that covered every outdoor surface and we knew that not only did it come from the towers themselves, but also contained the remains of those precious individuals that died that day.
For days and weeks I was very angry at God. How could He do this? What about the children, spouses, parents who had to continue life without their loved ones? I went to speak to my priest, a counselor, even a rabbi, but I just couldn't fathom a loving God who could allow this to happen. I hated this anger and decided to volunteer my time with the Red Cross. It was there that I saw the pride of human spirit and those people who selflessly gave of their time and resources to help others. Slowly, I began to rebuild my faith in humanity.
Honestly, it still took a while until I 'forgave' God and realized that this must be part of a bigger plan. We may never understand why He allowed this to happen, but we have to realize that we don't know the bigger picture and it is impossible to really understand what happened that day.
I think the bigger lesson I took from this is that it is ok to be angry at God and to be angry for something He has allowed to happen. However, this anger should be focused on the fact that we just don't know what He has in store for us and not on the action itself. Also, we should look at these events and see where we can better ourselves. We should realize that life is short and precious and that we should make the most of it.
Finally, we should always think to ourselves "If this is our last day on this earth, am I proud of what I have accomplished?" If not, then make that change NOW and don't wait for tomorrow, because that day may never come.
Thanks for reading and God bless,
Sol
www.holylandprayers.com
