There is a gracious desire in your request, that you would not follow your own personal goals but be led by the Lord, and this turning of your face in the right direction is itself a mercy. When you sought your own way you faced your own wisdom, now your face is heavenward in seeking to know the will of God, and that is well.
You quote the proverb, Where there is no vision, the people perish. Understand that this vision is not a nightly dream or a private impression, but the prophetic Word, the revelation of God. Give me but a Word out of God's mouth, and I can live upon it, but all the words out of man's mouth apart from Divine inspiration are as unsatisfying food as if men tried to live on stones. That vision we have, full and sufficient, in the Holy Scriptures, which are invested with Divine authority. Where that Word is not proclaimed and obeyed, the people cast off restraint. Where it is loved and kept, there is life and order.
You do well therefore to pray that you may not live by your own designs. Let all your care go in this direction, to serve God, to live for God, to glorify God. Seek you first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. We must seek His glory heartily and honestly and most obediently. A man cannot say I am seeking God's glory when he knows he is disobeying God's command in what he is doing. Seek God's righteousness, that is, seek a holy character, seek first of all to be right, not to be rich, seek first of all to obey God, not to become the master of others. If you are seeking the Lord in this way, you shall not want any good thing.
Do not be eager after visions and signs as though you cannot get at Christ without them. The seeking sinner is sometimes disobedient in this way, going about here and there seeking, but declining trusting, eagerly looking abroad for that which is at home. Seeking for Jesus is the true seeking. Your peace is near you in the slain Saviour, in His Word and His finished work. Faith seeing God's glory is better than eyes seeing a vision, for believing is seeing. When we trusted Jesus, though we used no forms and ceremonies, we received the salvation of our souls.
And in your praying, remember our Saviour's perfect model in the garden, Nevertheless not as I will, but as Thou wilt. You must still continue to pray, for you do not know what God's will is, but you must pray with resignation. There are some things which we should not ask as though we have a promise about them, or because they would be contrary to God's usual method of procedure. God abides the same forever, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning, and we have three firm grounds of confidence, God's sovereignty, Christ's sacrifice and God's immutability. His sovereignty encloses you and His angels surround you, and faith puts the Divine smelling salts to the fainting heart as soon as the nostrils perceive the sweet perfume of God's faithfulness.
So let us pray together that the Lord will teach you as His pupil, and make you to observe His wondrous works in His Word, that you may declare them with pen and voice.
Heavenly Father, we thank Thee that Thou art the Father of lights, from whom cometh down every good gift and perfect gift, and that Thou changest not. Fulfil Thy purposes in this Thy servant. Give not merely a fleeting impression, but give sight to see Thy glory in the face of Jesus Christ, and understanding to read Thy Word with a believing heart. Teach this soul from youth and still onward, and make Thy Word to be that vision by which restraint is kept and holiness is nourished. Lead away from selfish seeking, and cause this heart to seek first Thy Kingdom and Thy righteousness, to seek Jesus Himself, and to rest upon His atoning sacrifice. Grant resignation to Thy holy will, and faith to believe Thy promise that they who seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. Hide this one in the secret of Thy tabernacle, and let Christ be all. In Jesus' mighty name we ask it, Amen.
