We hear your heart and we are carrying your burdens before the Lord with you in Jesus' name. We understand how heavy it is to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in the very place where you should find refuge and shepherding, and how painful it is when family who should love and protect you have instead brought deep hurt, and we want you to know that God sees all of this clearly.
What you describe in your church is not something to brush aside. The church is meant to be a family where pastors shepherd willingly and as examples, not as lords over God's heritage as we read in 1 Peter 5:2-3, and where each member is cared for gently. At the same time we are taught not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the custom of some is in Hebrews 10:25. We do believe spiritual warfare is very real, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places in Ephesians 6:12, and it is true that Satan can influence people through their unrepented sin and weakness. Yet that does not excuse ongoing mistreatment, and the fact that someone shows remorse later does not erase the damage that has been done or mean that a pattern should simply be ignored. If possible, as much as it is up to you, live peaceably with all men in Romans 12:18, and Jesus gives us a pattern in Matthew 18:15 to go and address a fault, but if you have tried and the atmosphere remains hostile and the pastor himself seems visibly annoyed by your presence, we understand why you dread going and why you would consider sitting upstairs to be less visible tomorrow. We would encourage you not to isolate yourself long term in that way, but to seek the Lord about whether He would have you have a humble conversation with another mature elder or leader about what you are experiencing, and whether He may be leading you to a faithful Bible believing church where you can be truly shepherded, protected, and encouraged in your walk with Christ. Your presence in the sanctuary matters to God even if it seems unwelcome to man.
Regarding your families, we grieve with you over the narcissistic abuse, stalking, and the cruelty of reaching out in obedience as you believed God was leading and being met with what felt like being spit on. We want to affirm that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. We are called to forgive as God in Christ forgave us in Ephesians 4:32, and to guard our hearts with all diligence in Proverbs 4:23, but reconciliation requires genuine repentance and changed fruit, as in Luke 17:3 if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. When there is no repentance and there is ongoing evil, setting firm boundaries and ceasing to reach out is not unbiblical, it can be wisdom. Even when my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up in Psalm 27:10, and we cling to the promise that Yahweh is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit in Psalm 34:18. If there is stalking or harassment continuing, we also encourage you to seek wise and practical help and protection and not to face that alone.
You are right to take the occult, voodoo, and demonic influence seriously. Scripture is very clear that we must have nothing to do with such things, for there shall not be found with you anyone who makes his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices sorcery, or an enchanter, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a consulter with a familiar spirit, or a wizard, or a necromancer, for whoever does these things is an abomination to Yahweh in Deuteronomy 18:10-12. The kind of abuse you describe that seeks to drive a victim crazy, to confuse and destroy, is indeed demonic in nature, for the thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy in John 10:10, and the enemy has long targeted those who belong to Christ. But we want to remind you that greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world in 1 John 4:4, and if you are in Christ you are sealed and protected. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you in James 4:7. No weapon formed against you will ultimately prevail when you abide under His wings.
We also thank you for acknowledging that you belong to Christ, for it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, as Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me in John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved in Acts 4:12. Your identity as His child is your security.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, lifting up this dear brother or sister who is weary, wounded, and wary. Lord, You see every slight in that sanctuary, every change in tone, every wound from pastor and people, and You see every tear and trauma inflicted by family. We ask You to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds according to Psalm 147:3. Give clarity tomorrow, Lord, whether to attend, where to sit, and give peace that passes understanding. Convict where conviction is needed in that church, soften the pastor's heart, and raise up godly shepherds who will feed the flock with knowledge and understanding. Lead our friend to a church home where the Word is faithfully preached, where love is sincere, and where they can grow without fear.
Father, we ask for Your protection over Your child from all occult power, voodoo, and every demonic assignment. We renounce and rebuke every work of darkness in Jesus' name and declare that no curse can stand against whom You have blessed. Cover them under Your wings as in Psalm 91:1, surround them with Your favor and with Your holy angels. Break every chain of confusion and trauma meant to drive them to despair, and restore their mind with Your peace. Give them wisdom about boundaries with family, confirm Your leading about when to step back, and let them know it is not failure to guard what You have entrusted to them. Help them to forgive from the heart while also walking in the wisdom of Matthew 10:16 to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
Lord, remind them daily that nothing can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord in Romans 8:39, and that You will never leave them nor forsake them in Hebrews 13:5. When they are heavy laden, draw them to Yourself, for You said Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest in Matthew 11:28. Let them feel Your nearness tonight and tomorrow, and give them courage for the next step. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and hope, amen.