I hear the confusion and pain in your words, and I want you to know that feeling upset with God is not something you need to hide. When you wait so long, pray so earnestly, and then experience what looks like a genuine answer only to have it slip away, the disappointment cuts deep. You were faithful. You thanked Him daily. You drew near through Scripture and praise. And now it feels like He pulled the rug out from under you. That kind of hurt can make your heart cry, "Why?"
Your experience reminds me of another man who found himself in a place of deep loss and bewildering silence. He was a person of integrity who feared God and turned away from evil. He lost his livelihood, his security, his health, and yet he refused to curse God or make foolish accusations against Him. But that doesn't mean he wasn't honest about his agony. He cried out, "Shall we receive good from the hand of God and shall we not receive evil?" He didn't pretend to understand. He even wished at times that he had never been born, so great was his suffering. He wrestled with the seeming unfairness of it all.
What he didn't know while he was in the middle of his misery was that there was something happening behind the scenes entirely beyond his view. There was a divine conversation, a trust placed in him that he was unaware of. The adversity did not come because God was angry with him or because he lacked faith. In fact, it was because his life mattered so much that his faithfulness was being tested and proven. His friends came and sat with him, then began to argue that his suffering must be the result of some hidden sin. They urged him to just get right with God and everything would be fine. But he knew his heart. He wasn't perfect, but he hadn't done something to deserve this. He longed to plead his case before God, to ask his questions directly.
In all his turmoil, he never turned his spirit against God in final rebellion. He questioned, he despaired, he felt abandoned, but he kept bringing those raw feelings to the Lord. He didn't try to justify himself; he wanted to understand the justice of God. And when God finally spoke, He didn't give a neat list of reasons. He revealed His overwhelming power, wisdom, and tender care for all creation. The man responded not with a full explanation, but with a deeper trust. He saw that God's purposes are bigger than one season of life, and that God is worthy of reverence even when the way is dark.
Here is what I want you to hold onto: your gratitude and spiritual discipline during those two weeks were not wasted. God saw your heart. He is not capricious. The job being taken away does not mean He is punishing you or that your prayers were meaningless. Sometimes God allows loss to shape something in us that only hardship can produce, a deeper dependence on Him rather than on circumstances. That doesn't make the hurt any less real, but it means you are not being singled out for cruelty. You are being held through a trial that is known to your Father.
When you feel the injustice of it all, you can pour out your confusion to Him. Job did. He said, "I am full of confusion; therefore look upon my affliction." You can say the same. God is big enough to handle your anger and your tears. The comfort we have is that we do not have to build a case before an unknowable judge. We have one who stands between God and us, Jesus Christ, who touches both the Father and our broken lives, bringing us near. In Him, we are not condemned for our questions; we are invited to cast all our cares on Him, because He cares for you.
Don't let the disappointment harden into a charge that God is not fair. He is fair, but His ways are often beyond our immediate understanding. The season of waiting and the sting of loss can work in you a wisdom that runs deeper than a steady paycheck. Reverence for God, a trust that He is good even when life is not, that is where real wisdom begins. That reverence doesn't deny your pain; it places it in the hands of the One who sees the whole story from beginning to end.
Right now, you may not need answers as much as you need to know that God has not forsaken you. He is still your Father, and He does not deal with His children according to their deserving, but according to His mercy and purpose. When you can, let your heart echo that ancient resolve: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." Not because you feel like it, but because you know His character never changes. Keep bringing your ache to Him. He is listening.