We hear the depth of your pain, anger, and betrayal, how the weight of suffering has made you question God’s goodness, His presence, and even His existence. Your words are not just frustration; they are a raw, aching cry from a heart that feels abandoned, deceived, and utterly alone. You are not wrong to feel this way. The Bible itself is full of people who wrestled with God in their despair, Job, David, Jeremiah, even Jesus on the cross cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). So we do not dismiss your anger. We sit with it, acknowledge it, and bring it before the Lord, because He can handle it. He is not threatened by your honesty.
But we must also speak truth, even when it is hard. You say God has been unfaithful to you, yet Scripture tells us, "If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself" (2 Timothy 2:13). His faithfulness is not dependent on our feelings or circumstances. He is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). You ask what He has done for you, He sent His Son to live in this broken world, to experience hunger, betrayal, abandonment, and even death. Jesus did not come in a palace; He was born in a stable, lived as a carpenter’s son, and died on a cross between two thieves. He knows what it is to suffer unjustly. He knows what it is to feel forsaken. And He did it for you, so that you would never have to bear the weight of sin, shame, or separation from God alone.
You say He has never hugged you, never spoken to you, but He has. His Word says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known" (Jeremiah 33:3). The problem is not that He is silent; the problem is that we often do not listen, or we expect Him to speak in the way we want, rather than the way He chooses. Sometimes His answer is a still, small voice in the quiet. Sometimes it is a friend’s encouragement, a verse that jumps off the page, or peace in the midst of the storm. But He is speaking. The question is: Are you willing to hear Him, even if it is not the answer you demand?
You rage against the idea of a God who allows suffering, who seems to stand by while evil happens. We do not have all the answers for why He permits pain, Scripture tells us that the world is broken because of sin (Genesis 3), and that suffering entered because of man’s rebellion. But we also know that God does not delight in our suffering. "The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness; but is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9). He is not indifferent. He weeps with those who weep (John 11:35). And He uses even the worst things for good, for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). That does not mean the pain is erased, but it means it is not meaningless.
You say you want to stone God, to split Him in half, but that is the very thing He has already endured for you. Jesus was betrayed, beaten, mocked, and crucified. He took the punishment we deserve so that we could be reconciled to the Father. You say you cannot trust His goodness, but His goodness is not proven by a life without pain. It is proven by a cross. It is proven by a God who would rather die than lose you. "But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). That is love. That is faithfulness. That is the God who claims you as His own, even when you do not feel it.
You mention the infidelity you have endured, and we grieve with you. There is no pain like betrayal in marriage, it is a wound that cuts to the soul. But we must say this plainly: God hates adultery (Malachi 2:16). It is a violation of the covenant He designed for marriage, a union between one man and one woman, for life. The pain you carry is real, and it is not your fault. But we must also warn you: Bitterness will only poison you. "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15). Forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay. It does not mean you must trust the person who hurt you. But it does mean releasing the debt to God, who is the only righteous Judge. Holding onto hatred will not heal you, it will only chain you to the past.
You say you have prayed for four years and nothing has changed. But prayer is not a magic formula. It is not about getting what we want; it is about aligning our hearts with God’s will. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us" (1 John 5:14). Sometimes His answer is "No." Sometimes it is "Wait." Sometimes it is "I have something better." But He always hears. And He always works, even when we cannot see it.
You say you do not want Bible verses thrown at you, but the Bible is not just a book of empty promises. It is the living Word of God, sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). It is the story of a God who pursues the broken, who heals the wounded, who redeems the lost. If you truly want to know if God is good, you must seek Him, not just in your pain, but in His Word. "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him" (Psalm 34:8). You cannot know His goodness if you refuse to look for it.
And this is the most important truth of all: You cannot come to God on your own terms. You cannot demand that He prove Himself to you in the way you want. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8). Salvation is not found in anger, in bitterness, or in rebellion. It is found in humility, in surrender, in saying, "God, I do not understand, but I need You." Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). Not your righteousness. Not your demands. Only Jesus.
So we pray for you now, not with empty words, but with hearts broken for your pain and desperate for your healing.
Father in Heaven, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious soul who is hurting, angry, and lost. Lord, You see the depth of their pain, the betrayal, the abandonment, the questions that have gone unanswered. You know the weight they carry, and You are not afraid of their anger. We ask that You would meet them in their darkness, Lord. Speak to them in a way they cannot ignore. Show them Your faithfulness, not just in words, but in tangible ways. Heal the wounds of infidelity, Lord. Restore what has been broken. Give them the strength to release bitterness and the courage to trust again, not in people, but in You.
We pray against the lies of the enemy, who whispers that You do not care, that You are not good, that You have abandoned them. We rebuke those lies in the name of Jesus. Your Word says You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Your Word says You collect every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). Your Word says You will never leave nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). So we declare those truths over this life, even when they cannot yet believe them.
Lord, we ask that You would soften their heart. Help them to see Jesus, not as a distant king in a palace, but as a Savior who walked this broken earth, who suffered, who bled, who died for them. Help them to understand that Your love is not proven by a life without pain, but by a cross where You took their place. Give them the grace to surrender their anger, their demands, their need for control. Help them to say, "I do not understand, but I trust You."
And if they do not yet know You as Savior, Lord, we pray that today would be the day. That they would see their need for You, not just as a distant God, but as a Father who loves them, who sent His Son to die for them. Break through the hardness of their heart. Open their eyes to see Your goodness. And lead them to repentance, to forgiveness, to life in Jesus’ name.
We ask all of this in the mighty, matchless name of Jesus Christ, the One who bore our sins, our sorrows, and our shame. Amen.