thank you very much for the prayer, i do appreciate it a lot
this morning it does hurt, but that is my own fault, i feel like i took a backward step last night so i am almost starting over again. this is so difficult. Thank you for the prayer a lot because when I read it today it helped bring me back from that.
last night when i was trying to sleep there was so much fear in the room i couldn't sleep could hardly breathe. it has been a long time since that has happened so i think dealing with this dependency is hitting a nerve and they are trying to make me stop by trying to make me afraid. but it just tells me i am on the right track. i told it to leave in Jesus Name but it only lessened it didn't go away.
i felt like i really didn't have enough connection with God to stand up to the fear because i have become so dependent and that was a wake up call. that scared me too how much i have lost because of not depending on God. felt very alone with the fear too even though i knew God is always there but with the intensity of the fear i felt very alone and vulnerable. In the reality of spiritual stuff i guess you come face to face with where you are with God too. so because the fear was so persistent i turned on the light to read the Bible, trying to find verses to hold on to and speak out loud so the fear would go away. it took a while but after that the fear did start to go away and i was able to sleep. i need to get connection back with God because what i once had isn't there anymore
this is going to be a fight, sigh, i knew it would be but it's going to be hard work because i've let myself get too dependent and further away from God than i realised
i will post again later today, i appreciate the prayers thank you
this morning it does hurt, but that is my own fault, i feel like i took a backward step last night so i am almost starting over again. this is so difficult. Thank you for the prayer a lot because when I read it today it helped bring me back from that.
last night when i was trying to sleep there was so much fear in the room i couldn't sleep could hardly breathe. it has been a long time since that has happened so i think dealing with this dependency is hitting a nerve and they are trying to make me stop by trying to make me afraid. but it just tells me i am on the right track. i told it to leave in Jesus Name but it only lessened it didn't go away.
i felt like i really didn't have enough connection with God to stand up to the fear because i have become so dependent and that was a wake up call. that scared me too how much i have lost because of not depending on God. felt very alone with the fear too even though i knew God is always there but with the intensity of the fear i felt very alone and vulnerable. In the reality of spiritual stuff i guess you come face to face with where you are with God too. so because the fear was so persistent i turned on the light to read the Bible, trying to find verses to hold on to and speak out loud so the fear would go away. it took a while but after that the fear did start to go away and i was able to sleep. i need to get connection back with God because what i once had isn't there anymore
this is going to be a fight, sigh, i knew it would be but it's going to be hard work because i've let myself get too dependent and further away from God than i realised
i will post again later today, i appreciate the prayers thank you
