Today

Jan 8

Thank you for the gracious prayers, they are appreciated.

Today I am not feeling too much like I am in 'withdrawal' yet from not being in contact with the two people all today. Maybe because of the prayers - thank you for the prayers.

But probably that feeling will get worse over the next day or so and I am dreading that. That's what happens. God please help me to not need that. That is when I give in.

I'm not sure if I am supposed to replace that need for contact with them by going to God instead or whether I am supposed to not need that at all. The next day or so will make that clear I guess. It is a journey of trusting God either way.

I had a dream last night that basically said that I was not dealing with some issues in a productive way. That is true and so that is why this is good, need to deal with this dependency. God knows my heart about this, He knows the depth of the dependency that is there and that it has been there for way too long and it's counterproductive now. Today it's going ok but tomorrow it will start to hurt.
 

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