gascav
Servant of All
I want to first thank God for having wonderful people like you here on this website who are willing to pray for others, may God assuredly bless you in abundance in all the things that you do. may the lord see your needs and provide all according to his great will for all of you, personally here I am in a state of confusion, low self esteem and nearing giving up. I remember when it all started out in my studies many things seemed unclear, lord you gave me time and ability to catch up with the classes and in the end I became a best performer in my class in O level and A level. i even became one of the best students in the country!! as of now I am in medical school here in Tanzania and things are going anything but well, I started with high enthusiasm and diligence, but I don't know why but ai have somehow fallen behind. I have been outpaced in almost everything, My memory is not as good as it used to be, I am the one who usually doesn't seem to know what is going on most of the time, I am behind lectures, I fail to get hold of the best materials, and when I read i end up not reading the things which get asked in detail, I have not done well at all in the first three exams, and I find it even hard because there isn't even time to catch up, the lectures have been compressed and there is too much material taught everyday. The lecturers are least friendly and it seems they are making things complicated intentionally, and yet here we are obliged to attend all lectures. in short it is a mess and also consider the fact that it was my late dad's dream for me to study in a university he was teaching at. So basically so many lecturers are familiar with me though because of number of students being very high they have not singled me out yet. there is great pressure , and having come here as the best student in the country is also a challenge, many people expect me to be the go to guy and I am failing them every now and then. Lord please get me out of this mess I am in, it is tough and it is nearing my breaking point. i thought and still think that we are in this journey together and though so many things have happened between when I did my high school national exam and now that I am at university, sometimes thoughts come to my head, that you are mad at me because of how far I strayed away and that you no longer wish to use me for your will and may be there are other people who can glorify you in this area, because Lord when I was still closest to you in high school, the way I lived and did things, even I believed it glorified you and the end point (me becoming the best student in national exams) definately glorified you even more, but Lord I regret having let you go and let Satan influence a few things, every now and then I ask for forgiveness and pray for chastisement to rebuild my path to what you want me to be. i believe you are merciful, once again I received Christ as Lord and Savior. It still feels as if I am in the losing end of so many things, I no longer get the time to read my bible enough and neither do I get the time enough to study. i have to study the same things so many times and some fail to stick in mind and sadly they are the ones that get asked. lord i am in deep desperaion as my lifeline in this is diminishing, today thoughts of dropping out of medical school filled my mind but I do 't want to do that if it is where you want me to succeed in!!! please Lord, save me from all this. i pray in Jesus's name. Amen
