To My Husband_- Please All Advice Is Very Welcome And Appreciative. Honest I Would Prefer Most

Tonight Friday 7 March 2014 Time 22:54 At night in Ascot Berkshire

Like every night, this is the time I missed him the most. I never go to bed until I am really over tired and I know I just will fall asleep, not noticing the empty space beside me.

I am reading his scripture of the Funeral Service( My husband ) and like to share this with you if I may. I'm only mention couple of verses that touch me.

Gen 48: 1- Sometime Joseph was called, Your Father is ill. So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him
vs 8 When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he ask : Who are these?
They are the sons God has given me here Joseph said to his father. Then Israel said , Bring them to me so I may bless them.
Now Israel eyes ware failing , because of his old age, so he could hardly see. So Joseph brought his sons close to him and his father kiss them and embraced them Vs 13 And Joseph took both of them, Ephraim on his right toward Israel's left hand and Manasseh on his left towards Israel's right hand and brought them close to him.
But Israel reached out his right hand and put it on Ephraim's head though he was the younger and crossing his arms he put his left hand on Manasseh's head, even though Manasseh was the first born. vs 17 When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim's head he was displeased, so he took hold of his father's hand to move it from Ephraim's head to Manasseh's head. Joseph said to him No, My father this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head. But the father refused and said I- I Know my son I know

I felt many times to grab God's hands and say " please Heavenly Father and telling Him Lord not this way, My son is to young to be without a father. Everything I know my husband thought me, I was a Mother and housewife. I do not work I have a son to look after. Lord I'm begging if not for me my son. I still feel so lost and I feel I am still mad at God and My Husband. If my husband who was 21years older then me, If He really Loved us He would Have fought to be with us ,his family, But he did not love us enough.

I am so sorry for my disobedience but try not to think about this. Please brothers and sisters please help me. I know my relationship will grow stronger with God. I beg you Lord forgive my doubting this decision you made in my life. Help me Understand Amen

 

[DWooley97]

Go to http://www.griefshare.org and find some help and resources there. I will be praying for you.

 

[Stitcher]

Hello Catherina,

My heart goes out to you. I have not experienced the death of a husband, but it sounds like you are in the anger stage of dealing with your loss. Give yourself permission to feel anger, and be kind and gentle to yourself. Your husband loved you and your son. He didn't want to leave you. This is truly "normal" and you are not being disobedient by having these emotions. There is nothing like group support for finding others who are going through what you are right now. I pray you reach out to such a group, probably at a church or hospital. I pray for you as you work through your grief. I lift you up in prayer, Lord, please comfort your daughter Catherina and guide her. In Jesus'name, amen.

 

[Catherina]

Hi S

I am in a group therapy but I do not feel that they help me. At first I thought that this is not happening that he will walk through the door and say " I am home". but he never came home again. I did not know that I might be in the anger stage until you mentioned it, I thought I handled it ok before you mention it to me.



So this what I am planning. I want to understand his diagnosis- I want the doctor to explained that to me. I made an appointment to see him on Wednesday.



2ndly I found out that here in our village is not really group therapy in Church. I told to the vicar yesterday and the day before about starting one. He agrees but will mention this in the congregation this morning. I know I will find this more acceptable to me. To talk about God and grieve. As the other group do not talk About God.



I pray that the congregation is open for this. I am very very shy and thread it if I need to talk. There is lots of parishioners in church that will be able the to start this process



Please pray for this. Bless you for all your kind words.

Thank you

 

[Stitcher]

Hello Catherina,



I'm not an expert, it is just that there are stages of dealing with grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and you wrote that you felt angry. Sometimes others can see what we can't see, especially at a time when we are overwhelmed with emotion and life.



I'm sorry the group you are in is not satisfactory. I agree that a support group that believes in God is the best place for a Christian. I am impressed at the steps you have taken to start one in your church. (You could visit a group at another church while waiting for yours to start up if you needed.) God bless you. He will guide you and work with you as you do this. I pray he gives you the strength, courage, and other resources you need as you do this, and hope you have a lot of support from people at your church.



I pray that the information that your doctor shares can help you, with closure and understanding what happened.



I am keeping you in my prayers,

Stitcher

 

[raven28690]

Havent experienced the death of a spouse but have experienced a spouse who has left. It leaves a hole in your life that as Stitcher mentioned, you are in the anger stage where your looking for something to blame for the loss or anything to explain the roller coaster of emotions you are going through (Which in itself takes a toll on you).

I went 100mph at being angry to only switch gears and become hurt to feeling alone, you name it I was feeling so many emotions at the same time that I didn't know if I was coming or going or was getting ready to detonate.

God understands what you are going through Catherina and he knows how you are hurting. Turning to God and I mean fully turning and submitting to him was what and is getting me through my situation. I cried out to him with everything that I had and knowed how to take and remove the burden.

Even though you may feel like you cannot take another step, turn to God as he will carry you.

Im only here today because of his grace and mercy because I was sit on a very dark path but now I have a whole new peace about me that he has given me.



Im sure your husband fought with everything that he had to stay with you and your daughter. For my family and son I would give every ounce of my last breath and heartbeat to cling to them with every thing I had.

Psalm 34:17 says "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their trouble."

He hears your cries and knows your pain and is waiting to comfort you and give you peace through this. I know its hard to see past the hurt and pain but try and focus fully on him and you will see an awesome and mighty God work in your life.



My heart fully goes out to you and I will continue praying for you and your daughter.

And as Stitcher mentioned, a support group through a church or other organization would help. Leaning on others is what greatly helped me and pulled me along when I was intent on dropping anchor and just sitting through the storm I went through.



Father, we ask You to send Your peace to this wife and daughter who are mourning. Continue to surround them with family, friends and loved ones who will offer words of comfort. Give them sweet and restful sleep. Father, remove the spirit of heaviness, and give them garments of praise. In due time, bless their lives to overflow with laughter and joy again. As they take refuge in You, please help them to put their trust in You. Holy Spirit, we ask that You settle the hearts and minds of those who are feeling any guilt, resentment, bitterness, or anger. Help them not to look back but to press forward.

Lord, the heavens tell of Your glory. The skies display Your marvelous craftsmanship. You are the Lord, Most High, the great King over all the earth. You reign over all nations. You are an awesome God. We honor You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

[Catherina]

Hi Everyone



I sincerely thank you all for being my brothers and sisters in Christ - I do not want to say thank you for your good advice, but rather Thank you for looking out for me sharing your experience and giving me hope. hope, understanding and mostly That you cared so much.



Great news- I will continue to meet with this group; I am now. Until the Church will provide services for group meetings. In the mean time we need to fine train people or would be willing to go for the training. Thank you God for your loving people on earth. I love you all

 

[raven28690]

Anyone here I am sure would all agree with me when I tell you that we do care. Its only natural when you see a fellow brother or sister in Christ who is hurting to hurt with them and want to help.

And as I said, will keep lifting you up in prayer.

 

[Catherina]

raven28690



My poor little boy is not a girl



Do not worry. I still love you brother. Again thank you is not enough. Thank you for your amazing support

God bless you

 

[raven28690]

You will have to overlook me Catherina, Goes to show Im still not at 100%.

It hasn't been all that long since my wife left so still feel at times as those in the valley but thanks to God the better days are more and more when leaning on him.