Evonne
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Hi everyone....Ugh, I'm so shy, I never done anything like this before. Um, please pray for me and my family. I been going through such a tough time, and I been trying to forgive these people that hurt me, but it's very hard. I am letting it go little by little... They done such horrible things, I know no one is perfect, but what they did is unforgivable. But, God forgives everyone, so I feel like I should since God has forgiven me for my mistakes too, even though there aren't nearly as bad, but a sin is a sin. ;___;
But, If I don't let go of the past, I won't have a future so I been doing my best. I been praying to god, but I need help.
I also been having trouble with my memory and OCD, I also have really weird intrusive thoughts that really interfere with my life. This is also stressing my family out and they been so kind through this painful process.They really look out for me and I am blessed to have them.
I gotten PTSD from a horrible night, that I gotten this year, that I don't want to go into details yet. But, a man I just met when I was just going out to have fun, and I got terribly drunk, I didn't mean to do that.. I got carried away and never done that before. But, he tried to have his way with me, and was touching me, and that made me very uncomfortable, and I was unable to consent so he tried to rape me, but I got away safely... I never really even spoke to this man, nor had an interest, this person was just so horrible and evil... His eyes looked so cold and dark and I did not like that... He did buy me a drink, but that doesn't mean he gets a ticket to my body... It's really awful how some people think... I don't have a drinking problem or anything like that. It was just a girls night out, that's all. This is just something I am VERY ashamed of, which I don't like to talk about it since some people shame the victim when it's always the rapists fault. I just felt so vulnerable and powerless...
The next day I awoke I had PTSD... I was traumatized from that incident.... I even blamed myself when I know it isn't my fault. I blamed my self for three months and started to resent him in march. It's a nightmare to talk about. Life is a crazy thing sometimes. And I remember I was pretty much fine last year and now it's like I am a completely different person. I often feel like I don't know my self anymore half of the time. But, I have hope that I will get better. Thanks to God and my family and everyone that prayed for me before. But, I really would like to forget about the bad people and have my life again.
Anyway, God bless everyone and I'll try my best to pray for everyone here too, I just joined so I am new here. x)
But, If I don't let go of the past, I won't have a future so I been doing my best. I been praying to god, but I need help.
I also been having trouble with my memory and OCD, I also have really weird intrusive thoughts that really interfere with my life. This is also stressing my family out and they been so kind through this painful process.They really look out for me and I am blessed to have them.I gotten PTSD from a horrible night, that I gotten this year, that I don't want to go into details yet. But, a man I just met when I was just going out to have fun, and I got terribly drunk, I didn't mean to do that.. I got carried away and never done that before. But, he tried to have his way with me, and was touching me, and that made me very uncomfortable, and I was unable to consent so he tried to rape me, but I got away safely... I never really even spoke to this man, nor had an interest, this person was just so horrible and evil... His eyes looked so cold and dark and I did not like that... He did buy me a drink, but that doesn't mean he gets a ticket to my body... It's really awful how some people think... I don't have a drinking problem or anything like that. It was just a girls night out, that's all. This is just something I am VERY ashamed of, which I don't like to talk about it since some people shame the victim when it's always the rapists fault. I just felt so vulnerable and powerless...
The next day I awoke I had PTSD... I was traumatized from that incident.... I even blamed myself when I know it isn't my fault. I blamed my self for three months and started to resent him in march. It's a nightmare to talk about. Life is a crazy thing sometimes. And I remember I was pretty much fine last year and now it's like I am a completely different person. I often feel like I don't know my self anymore half of the time. But, I have hope that I will get better. Thanks to God and my family and everyone that prayed for me before. But, I really would like to forget about the bad people and have my life again.
Anyway, God bless everyone and I'll try my best to pray for everyone here too, I just joined so I am new here. x)
I am praying for you.May god bless you and answer all your prayers.Amen
