The Lord Has Put This On My Heart

Dear Lord,
You know I am experiencing anxiety and fear about doing this blog. I know You have put it on my heart for a while now. I fear the vulnerability of exposure. I have led a life of masks I put on whatever mask is necessary to the situation. You have asked me for raw honesty about my testimony. My past, my present, my future. all the feelings all the struggles, all the successes.

As I embark on this journey if anyone reads it please let them read only what the Holy Spirit wants them to read all other writings fall away.

Today I am feeling a bit flat spiritually. Lord is it because I have done something wrong, I am not doing enough, or am I still chasing the feeling? 'When praying for others today I got distracted by thoughts of "why am I doing this? does this help? do I have the right words? should I do this without feeling the spirit?" I continued to pray because that is what You ask me to do. I think. When I feel the emotional pain of the prayer request I feel drained afterwards, when I feel flat I wonder if I am doing it right?

Thank you Lord I am beginning to notice the pattern. "All those questions are about ME. What I feel, am I good enough, I get distracted, IIIII. Lord let me focus on You. I hear the lies of the enemy trying to convince me this is ridiculous. Protect me from the lies Lord. I am speaking truth and the enemy is trying to stop me.

Lord I love when You use me for Your good. It is the most joy I have ever experienced. It amazes me to think the All powerful
God used me. I see I am chasing feelings. Thank You for using me.

 

[momstery]

Thank you Chilton and I thank God for your honest. You put yourself out there for all to see and what I see is your heart, fear, doubt and love to continue to grow as a person you know that God wants you to be. We are human, which He made and we all fall short, some can admit while others can not. Many times as I pray or talk to God, I too wonder if I am saying things right, praying for the right things or the right way, did I forget someone in my prayers, forget to thank Him for a blessing. But the truth is that He knows your heart better then anyone on this earth even yourself. As I type this to you, I find that I gather strength and courage when I can give me thoughts of encouraging words that my help you or others. I am not special, but I am special to Him. It's have been a long struggle of awareness for me as a person in these last six months. I not doing better, but I know that better things are coming my way since I know where God needs me to turn my direction to. I have a lot left to offer the world as well as yourself. Remember, as long as you continue to talk to God regardless what it is you have His ear and love, He just want your faith and grace. Sorry for the long comment, it touch me and I wanted to respond. God bless you and yours.

 

[Chilton]

Thank you so much. I am doing this for the Lord but encouragement is so appreciated. The Lord put it on my heart that others struggle with the same things and to shed light on it. Thank you for taking so much time. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ.