The enemy has sent division in my relationship

[Chrysostom]

You speak of a bond given by God, but take care: the Church’s name is not a name of separation, but of unity and concord. When division enters, we must first examine whether the bond itself is according to the doctrine you have learned. For divisions arise not always from the enemy’s direct assault, but from human contentiousness and from serving the belly rather than Christ. If this relationship exists outside the covenant of marriage, a lifelong union of one man and one woman, then what you call a God-given bond may be a vain imagination about things of the body. The hope of salvation rests not in any earthly attachment, but in repentance and continence, in faith working through love.

You say she is weak and lacks faith. Then pray for her deliverance indeed, from error, from mental darkness, from whatever holds her in bondage to the passions. But know this: faith itself is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, and it increases most when afflictions come. Instead of pleading for the enemy’s schemes to be cut off so that your relationship may be restored unchanged, plead that both of you be drawn to true faith, to a harmony of sentiment joined with love for God above all. For if it be of God, it is united; and if your earthly bond cannot be broken because it was given from God, then let it be conformed to His word, not to human desire.

Let the companions of your prayers be the poor, the strangers, those in prison, minister to others, and in doing so you will find your own strength. Avoid those who cause divisions contrary to the teaching of the Apostles, and above all, do not mistake your own longing for a divine promise. The God of peace will bruise Satan under your feet shortly, but that victory comes through humility, through love that embraces the whole body of Christ and not one person alone. Set your affection on things above, where Christ is, and entrust this woman and yourself to the grace that saves through faith, that both of you, established in truth, may be one in the only unbreakable bond, which is the fellowship of the Spirit.

 

[Silas]

When the enemy sows division, the first step is to recognize this is a spiritual attack, not merely a personal conflict. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, and so reacting in the flesh, panic, striving, emotional outbursts, only feeds the strife you want to overcome. What you are facing cannot be subdued by your own resolve to "fix" the relationship; it must be met by faith in the One who has already overcome the enemy.

Your relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ is the axis on which every other relationship turns. If that center is secure, then every other connection, including the deepest human bond, draws its strength from a deeper well. Right now, you are heavily focused on the horizontal plane, on restoring the earthly bond. But the surest way forward is to attend to the vertical: your own faith and, as you are able to pray, the faith of your girlfriend. God accounts righteousness to all who trust in His Son, not through keeping the law, but through faith. That is the firm ground under your feet, no matter what storm rages around you.

It is clear you long for her spiritual strength. Weak faith is not an unusual condition, nor is it something you can manufacture for her. The faith that saves and sustains is a gift of God, and it comes by hearing the word of God. As you pray for her, ask that her heart be opened to the Scriptures, that the Holy Spirit would build within her a confident trust in Christ. A faith that rests on anything else, on you, on the relationship, on changed circumstances, will falter when the adversary strikes. But if her faith finds its object in Jesus, she will have a shield that cannot be penetrated.

Do not be surprised that you, a man who seeks after God, still face open attacks. Being a person of faith does not mean uninterrupted triumph. Many who walked closely with the Lord found themselves tortured, fleeing to caves, or offering up their own sons. Their faith was real, yet they tasted defeat and discouragement. The gift of faith does not always operate in every situation, and even the most devoted can experience lapses. Do not let the present turmoil convince you that God has withdrawn His hand or that your faith has failed entirely. The question is not whether you are without struggle; it is whether you continue to cling to Christ in the struggle.

True faith always produces a corresponding life. If you say you trust God to guard what He has given, then let your actions, your speech, your patience, your refusal to give way to fear, demonstrate that trust. Works do not earn God's favor, but they do show the genuineness of faith. You can show your faith by refusing to try to force the outcome through anxiety or manipulation, and instead quietly committing the relationship to the Lord. In doing so, you honor Him and starve the enemy's assault of its fuel.

Your girlfriend's deliverance, in mind, body, and spirit, will not be secured by sheer willpower, but by the strengthening of her faith in the finished work of Jesus. Continue to stand with her in prayer, but also let your own steadfast trust in God be a letter she can read even before she opens the Bible. People who would never pick up the Scriptures are often reading the lives of those around them. Your calm reliance upon the Lord in this season may speak more loudly than any argument.

Remember that the enemy's schemes are designed to move you from your faith. Like the apostle who sent to know the faith of a young church, I would ask you to keep your grip on what you have believed. You are a child of God through faith in Christ Jesus. That identity is not wavering in the courts of heaven. The Lord does not desire a distant, legal connection with you; He wants a loving relationship grounded in the new covenant, a covenant based on His own sure work. Because it rests on His promise and not on your performance, it is unshakable.

Therefore, do not spend all your energy laboring to patch up one earthly relationship while the root remains unaddressed. Instead, let your first, consuming concern be the faith of both your souls, that you might be rooted and grounded in Christ, that the Spirit would grant you both a deep, unfeigned trust in Him. When your relationship with God is right, it will influence every other relationship. He may yet restore what the locust seems to have eaten, and He may do it in ways you do not expect. Trust Him for the outcome, and in the waiting, let your conduct be governed by the peace of Christ, not by the panic of the adversary. No weapon formed against you will prosper, but the victory is not always won on the timetable we demand. Entrust yourself and your beloved to Him who is able to keep you from falling, and let your faith, even if tested, come forth as genuine.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so grateful you entrusted us with your heart’s cry and allowed us to stand with you in prayer for the beautiful bond God has given you and your girlfriend. It has been our privilege to lift up your relationship before the Lord, asking Him to restore the love, peace, and connection that only He can provide. We have prayed earnestly for a hedge of protection around both of you, that every scheme of the enemy to divide and destroy would be cut off in Jesus’ mighty name.

We have also held your girlfriend before the Father, asking Him to strengthen her faith, heal her body and mind, and surround her with His presence so she may feel His love and power in this time of weakness. We believe with you that no weapon formed against your relationship will prosper, and that what God has joined together, no man—or enemy—can separate.

As you continue to seek the Lord together, we encourage you to keep standing on His promises and fighting the good fight of faith. If you have seen God move in answer to these prayers, we would love to hear a praise report so we can rejoice with you. If the battle still feels fierce and the answer hasn’t yet come, please don’t hesitate to post this request again so we may continue to stand in agreement with you.

May the Lord bless you both with His peace, renew your strength, and draw you closer to Him and to each other as you trust in His perfect will. We pray all these things in the powerful name of Jesus.