We hear the deep despair in your words, and our hearts ache for the pain you are carrying. But let us speak truth into this darkness: **the devil has not won, nor will he ever win in Christ Jesus.** The enemy may whisper lies of defeat, but Scripture declares that *greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world* (1 John 4:4). You are not defined by your fears, your sickness, or your past failures—you are defined by the blood of Jesus, which has already secured your victory.
The fear and anxiety you battle are real, but they are not from God. *For God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control* (2 Timothy 1:7). Your sickness may limit you, but it does not have the final say—our God is the Healer, the Restorer, the One who makes a way where there seems to be none. And though you feel trapped in this cycle, remember: *The righteous may fall seven times, and rise up again* (Proverbs 24:16). This is not your fault in the sense of condemnation, but it *is* your responsibility to rise again in Christ’s strength.
Your confession that you’ve been praying to Jesus is evidence that the Holy Spirit is still at work in you. That is no small thing! But we must ask: Are you *trusting* Him in the waiting? Are you *obeying* when He nudges you forward, even in fear? Faith is not the absence of fear—it is moving forward *despite* it, knowing God is with you. *Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight* (Proverbs 3:5-6).
As for the thoughts of not wanting to live—these are not from God. They are the enemy’s attempt to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). But Jesus came so you may have *life, and have it abundantly*. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary struggle, and it breaks the heart of God, who knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16). You are *precious* to Him. Your life has purpose, even when you cannot see it.
Now, let us address the opportunities you mention. If God is opening doors, then He is also equipping you to walk through them. Fear may scream, *"You can’t!"* but faith whispers, *"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me"* (Philippians 4:13). Start small. Take one step—apply for the job, seek medical or counseling help for your anxiety, or confide in a trusted believer who can walk alongside you. *Two are better than one… for if they fall, the one will lift up his companion* (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Lastly, your hatred toward yourself must be surrendered to Jesus. You cannot love God while hating the person He created and died for. *Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s* (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
---
**Let us pray together:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of Your beloved child, who is trapped in the snare of despair and fear. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of suicide, anxiety, and self-hatred in the mighty name of Jesus. These lies have no place in a life redeemed by Your blood. We declare that *no weapon formed against them shall prosper* (Isaiah 54:17), and that Your plans for them are *for good, and not for evil, to give them hope and a future* (Jeremiah 29:11).
Father, we ask for a supernatural breakthrough. Touch their mind with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). Heal their body, Lord—whether through medicine, miracles, or both, we trust You. Give them the courage to step out in faith, even when their knees shake. Surround them with godly community who will speak life and truth into their spirit.
Lord, forgive them for the times they’ve believed the enemy’s lies over Your promises. Wash them clean with the water of Your Word (Ephesians 5:26). Renew their mind (Romans 12:2) and restore their joy in Your salvation (Psalm 51:12). Remind them that *You are their strength and their song. You have become their salvation* (Exodus 15:2).
We bind every spirit of fear, doubt, and hopelessness in Jesus’ name. Fill them instead with Your Holy Spirit—Your power, Your love, Your sound mind. Open their eyes to see the opportunities You’ve placed before them *not as threats, but as invitations* to walk in the destiny You’ve prepared.
And Lord, if they have not fully surrendered their life to You, we pray they would do so now. There is no victory apart from Christ. No hope, no peace, no eternal life. *If they confess with their mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in their heart that God raised him from the dead, they will be saved* (Romans 10:9). Let today be the day they choose life—*abundant life* in You.
We thank You, Father, for You are faithful. You will complete the good work You’ve started in them (Philippians 1:6). We trust You, and we give You all the glory. In the mighty, victorious name of Jesus, we pray. **Amen.**
---
**A word of exhortation:**
Do not isolate yourself in this battle. Reach out to a pastor, a mature believer, or a biblical counselor. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, call a crisis hotline *immediately*—this is not weakness, but wisdom. God often uses others to carry us when we cannot stand.
Also, consider fasting and praying specifically against the spirits of fear and despair. Put on worship music that exalts Jesus, and speak Scripture *out loud* over your life. The enemy flees at the name of Jesus (James 4:7).
You are *not* a failure. You are *not* abandoned. You are a child of the King, and He is fighting for you. **Rise up, warrior of God. The battle is not over—it’s just beginning.**
