We hear your deep struggle and the weight of confusion, fear, and loss you’re carrying. You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and we want to walk with you in truth and love as we seek the Lord together.
First, let’s address the foundational truth: the Holy Spirit is not earned through reading the Bible a certain number of times, fasting, or any other work. He is a gift given freely to those who repent and believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Ephesians 1:13-14 tells us, *"In him you also, having heard the word of truth, the Good News of your salvation—in whom, having also believed, you were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is a pledge of our inheritance, to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of his glory."* The Holy Spirit comes to dwell in believers at the moment of salvation, not because of our efforts, but because of God’s grace. He does not depart from those who are truly in Christ, as Romans 8:9 assures us, *"But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if it is so that the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if any man doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ, he is not his."*
Confirmation of the Holy Spirit’s presence in your life is not a guarantee of heaven in the sense that you can never fall away—it is a seal of God’s ownership and a promise of His faithfulness to complete the work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). However, salvation is not a one-time event that can be lost by failing to meet certain conditions; it is a relationship with Jesus that transforms us from the inside out. If you have truly surrendered your life to Him, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). But if you are relying on your own works, religious activities, or even fasting to secure your salvation, we must gently but firmly remind you that salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8-9). No amount of fasting, Bible reading, or good deeds can save you—only Jesus can.
You mentioned feeling trapped, condemned, and financially ruined by your faith. These are heavy burdens, and we want to address them with both truth and compassion. The Bible does not promise earthly prosperity or an easy life, but it does promise that God will never abandon you and that His grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). The enemy would love for you to believe that following Jesus leads only to loss and suffering, but the truth is that Jesus came so that you might have life—and have it abundantly (John 10:10). The losses you’ve experienced may feel overwhelming, but we must ask: Are you measuring your life by what you’ve lost or by what you’ve gained in Christ? The world’s treasures are temporary, but the treasures of heaven are eternal (Matthew 6:19-21).
We must also address the areas where you’ve been misled. The idea that reading the Bible "corrupted" the Holy Spirit or caused your mother to ask for money is not biblical. The Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12), and it is meant to transform us, not harm us. If you’ve been led to make decisions that left you vulnerable or financially unstable, we must examine whether those decisions were truly led by the Spirit or by misinterpretations of Scripture. The Bible calls us to be good stewards of what God has given us (1 Corinthians 4:2), and while generosity is a fruit of the Spirit (2 Corinthians 9:7), it should never be coerced or done out of fear or manipulation. If you gave away your savings or quit your job out of a false sense of guilt or obligation, that was not the Holy Spirit leading you—it was likely the enemy twisting Scripture to bring destruction.
You also mentioned that you don’t care for singing in public or helping strangers, and you feel this disqualifies you from receiving the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does not require you to be an extrovert, a singer, or a social worker. He works in and through you in ways that are unique to how God created you. The fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) is not a checklist of behaviors but evidence of His work in your life. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are not things you must manufacture on your own—they flow from a heart surrendered to Jesus. If you are in Christ, the Holy Spirit is already at work in you, even if you don’t feel it.
As for your fasting, we commend your discipline and desire to draw closer to God, but we must caution you about the physical toll it can take. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and while fasting is a powerful spiritual discipline, it should not be done in a way that harms your health. If you’re relying on electrolyte supplements alone for 40 days, we strongly encourage you to seek medical advice to ensure you’re not putting your body at risk. Fasting is meant to humble us before God (Psalm 35:13), not to prove our worthiness or earn His favor.
Now, let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is struggling with doubt, fear, and confusion. Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in a powerful way. Show him the truth of Your Word and the reality of Your love. Remind him that salvation is not earned by works but is a gift of Your grace, received by faith in Jesus Christ. We pray against the lies of the enemy that have made him feel condemned, trapped, and abandoned. Break the chains of deception, Lord, and let Your light shine into the darkness of his heart.
Father, we ask that You would fill him afresh with Your Holy Spirit. Let him know the assurance of Your presence, not because of anything he has done, but because of what Jesus has done for him on the cross. Heal the wounds of loss and regret, and restore what has been taken from him—whether it be relationships, finances, or peace of mind. Give him wisdom to discern Your voice and the courage to follow You, even when the path is unclear.
Lord, we also pray for his physical health as he fasts. Protect him from harm and give him the strength to complete this time of seeking You in a way that honors You and his body. Above all, draw him closer to You, that he may know You more deeply and trust You more fully.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, who alone is our Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. Amen.
Brother, we want to leave you with this encouragement: Jesus loves you, not because of what you do or don’t do, but because of who He is. He sees your pain, your confusion, and your exhaustion, and He is reaching out to you right now. You are not condemned (Romans 8:1), and you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with you, even in your doubts, and He will guide you into all truth if you let Him (John 16:13). Lay down the burdens of guilt, shame, and fear at the foot of the cross, and let Jesus carry them for you. He is faithful, even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13).
If you’ve never truly surrendered your life to Jesus, we invite you to do so now. Confess your sins, repent, and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. If you have already done this, then rest in the assurance that He is with you and will never leave you. The Christian life is not about perfection—it’s about a relationship with the One who is perfect. Keep seeking Him, keep trusting Him, and keep walking with Him, one step at a time. You are loved more than you know.
