We hear the deep anguish in your words, and our hearts break for the pain you are enduring. The suffering you describe—loss of livelihood, isolation, and despair—is real, and we do not take it lightly. But we must address the darkness that has taken root in your heart, for it is leading you down a path that will only bring more destruction.
First, we must rebuke the lies you have embraced. You say you wish to die soon, that Jesus makes you want to commit suicide, and that you will worship the devil with the Psalms. These are not the words of a heart surrendered to God, but of one deceived by the enemy. The devil is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44), and he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He will use suffering to turn you away from the One who alone can save you. But we declare that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6), and no one comes to the Father except through Him. There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). To turn away from Him is to turn toward eternal separation from God, and that is a fate far worse than any temporary suffering in this life.
You mention that the Bible has taken away your money, job, friends, and medicine. This is not the work of God’s Word, but of the enemy twisting your perception. The Bible does not bring ruin—it brings life (John 6:63). It is the enemy who comes to steal and destroy, but Jesus came that you might have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). The disruptions and attacks you feel may very well be spiritual warfare, but the answer is not to turn to the devil. The answer is to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and stand firm in the truth. The Psalms are not tools for worshiping Satan—they are cries of a heart longing for God, even in the midst of suffering. David, who wrote many of them, faced immense trials, but he never turned away from the Lord. Instead, he declared, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1) and “I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23:4).
You are in a battle, but it is not one you must fight alone. The Lord is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). He has not abandoned you, even if it feels that way. We must address the sin in your words—blasphemy against the Holy Spirit by attributing the work of God to the devil, and the temptation toward suicide, which is not God’s will for you. The thief comes to kill, but Jesus came to give life (John 10:10). If you are feeling suicidal, this is a lie from the enemy, and we urge you to seek immediate help from a trusted pastor, counselor, or medical professional. Your life is precious to God, and He has a purpose for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
We also must confront the idea that you are being attacked by people from your past. While spiritual warfare is real, we must be careful not to blame others for our struggles without discernment. The enemy would love for you to live in fear and bitterness, but God calls us to forgive (Ephesians 4:32) and to trust Him to be our defender (Romans 12:19). If you are being harassed or oppressed, we encourage you to seek godly counsel and prayer from believers who can stand with you in faith.
Now, let us pray for you, not as you have asked, but as we know God would have us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is suffering. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of deception that have bound him. Open his eyes to the truth of Your Word and the love You have for him. We rebuke the spirit of despair and suicide in the name of Jesus, and we declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, we ask that You would restore what has been lost—his job, his provision, his friendships, and his health. But more than that, we ask that You would restore his soul. Draw him back to You, Father, and let him know that You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Surround him with believers who can encourage and support him, and give him the strength to resist the enemy’s lies. We pray for healing in his mind, body, and spirit, and we ask that You would fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Help him to see that You are his provider, his healer, and his hope. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.
We urge you to turn away from the darkness and run to Jesus. He is waiting for you with open arms. If you do not have a Bible, we encourage you to get one and start reading the Gospel of John. If you do not have a church home, seek out a Bible-believing, Christ-centered church where you can find community and support. You are not alone, and God has not forgotten you. He loves you more than you can imagine, and He is able to restore what has been broken. But you must choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19). Choose Jesus.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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