We come before the Lord with heavy hearts after reading your cry for help, and we are deeply grieved by the darkness and despair that has taken hold in your thoughts. Yet we rejoice that you have turned to Jesus Christ in this moment, for He alone is the source of truth, deliverance, and hope. The very fact that you are troubled by these thoughts shows that the Holy Spirit is still at work in you, convicting and calling you to repentance and renewal. Let us address these matters with the truth of Scripture and lift you up in prayer, for the battle you face is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of wickedness (Ephesians 6:12).
First, we must firmly rebuke the murderous and suicidal thoughts that have taken root in your mind. These are not from God, but from the enemy, who comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). The Lord commands us in Exodus 20:13, *"You shall not murder,"* and in Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus warns that even anger and hatred in the heart are sinful before God. To entertain plans of killing—even in a moment of distress—is to open the door to the devil’s schemes. Similarly, your wish to have been aborted or raptured away reveals a deep despair that contradicts the value God places on your life. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and Jesus died to redeem you, not to abandon you. Suicidal thoughts are a lie from the pit of hell, for Satan seeks to destroy what God has created. You must reject these thoughts immediately and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. Romans 12:2 tells us, *"Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God."*
We also hear the pain in your heart over your parents’ marriage and the trauma you’ve endured. While you once prayed in a moment of anguish for their divorce, it is clear that this was not your true desire, but a cry born out of suffering. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and He longs to bring healing and restoration to broken families. Your parents’ marriage is not your responsibility to fix or to destroy—it is in God’s hands. You must release this burden to Him and ask for His peace to guard your heart (Philippians 4:6-7). As for the religious persecution you’ve faced, Jesus warned us that in this world we will have tribulation, but He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Do not let the words or actions of others—even those who mock or persecute you—drive you to darkness. Instead, bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you (Matthew 5:44). Vengeance belongs to the Lord (Romans 12:19), and He will justify you in His time.
Your mention of post-traumatic stress reveals deep wounds that need the healing touch of Jesus. He is the God who binds up the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3) and who came to proclaim liberty to the captives (Luke 4:18). You do not have to carry this pain alone. Seek godly counsel—whether from a pastor, a mature believer, or a biblical counselor—who can walk with you through this valley. Isolation is the enemy’s tool; community and the body of Christ are God’s design for your healing. If you are not already part of a Bible-believing church, we urge you to find one where you can be surrounded by brothers and sisters who will support you in prayer and accountability.
Most importantly, we must remind you that your hope is not in escape—whether through death, the Rapture, or fantasy—but in the living God who is with you right now. Jesus said in Matthew 28:20, *"Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."* You are not abandoned. You are not beyond His reach. The apostle Paul faced despair so deep that he despaired even of life (2 Corinthians 1:8), yet God delivered him so that he would trust not in himself, but in God who raises the dead. Your feelings of hopelessness are real, but they are not the truth. The truth is that Christ has conquered sin and death, and He offers you new life—abundant life—in Him.
Let us pray for you now with the authority and hope we have in Jesus Christ:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of Your child who is crying out in the depths of despair. Lord, we thank You that they have turned to You, for You are the only One who can save them from the darkness that seeks to consume them. We bind every murderous thought, every suicidal idea, and every lie of the enemy in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Satan, we command you to flee in Jesus’ name, for you have no place in this child of God. Holy Spirit, we ask You to fill every empty space in their mind and heart with the truth of God’s Word. Renew their mind, Lord, and replace every thought of death with Your promises of life (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Father, we lift up the deep wounds in their heart—the trauma, the fear, the betrayal, and the loneliness. Heal them, Lord, as only You can. Bind up their broken heart and set them free from the chains of PTSD. Give them Your peace that surpasses all understanding. We pray for their parents’ marriage, Lord. If it is Your will, bring restoration and reconciliation. But even if not, we ask that You would protect our brother or sister from bitterness and unforgiveness. Help them to release this burden to You and trust You with their family.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of persecution that has risen against them. You are their defender, their shield, and their strong tower (Psalm 18:2). Give them the grace to forgive those who have mocked or harmed them, and fill them with Your love, which casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Surround them with godly community, Father. Lead them to a church where they can be discipled, encouraged, and held accountable. Raise up mentors and friends who will point them to You in every circumstance.
Most of all, Lord, we pray that they would know—deep in their soul—the depth of Your love for them. You knit them together in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), and You have a plan and a purpose for their life (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy seeks to destroy them, but You, Lord, have called them by name, and they are Yours (Isaiah 43:1). Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they may walk in victory and not in defeat. Give them a hunger for Your Word, that they may meditate on it day and night and find their strength in You (Joshua 1:8).
We declare that they are more than a conqueror through Christ who loves them (Romans 8:37). We speak life over them, hope over them, and freedom over them in the name of Jesus Christ. Break every chain, Lord, and set them free to worship You in spirit and in truth. May they rise from this place of despair and walk in the newness of life that You have purchased for them on the cross.
In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Our brother or sister, we urge you to take immediate action in the natural as well as the spiritual. If you have not already, confess these thoughts to a trusted believer or pastor who can pray with you and hold you accountable. If the murderous or suicidal thoughts persist, seek professional help without delay—there is no shame in this, and God can use medical and counseling professionals as instruments of His healing. Guard your mind by filling it with Scripture. Memorize verses like Philippians 4:8: *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things."* Avoid media, music, or influences that feed darkness or despair. Instead, immerse yourself in worship and the Word of God.
You are not defined by your thoughts or your past. You are defined by Christ’s work on the cross. He has given you a new identity—one of righteousness, hope, and victory. Cling to Him, and He will lead you out of this wilderness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). We are standing with you in prayer, and we believe that God is going to do a mighty work in your life. Do not give up. Do not lose heart. Your Redeemer lives, and He is fighting for you even now.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
