We understand the deep distress and spiritual turmoil you are experiencing, and we are here to lift you up in prayer and truth. First, we commend you for calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we find salvation, protection, and true peace. As Scripture declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). Your acknowledgment of Jesus is a foundation we can build upon, and we urge you to continue seeking Him with all your heart.
Your fear of returning to church after witnessing what you describe as the Holy Spirit being "afraid" and the trauma tied to your past experiences is understandable, but we must address this with biblical clarity. The Holy Spirit is not subject to fear, for *"God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7, WEB). What you may have witnessed could be the result of human emotions, spiritual immaturity, or even counterfeit manifestations that do not align with the fruit of the Spirit—*"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control"* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). True worship and the moving of the Holy Spirit will never leave you in bondage to fear but will draw you closer to the truth and freedom found in Christ.
You mentioned two "infractions": confessing sin during a service and silently laughing at a divine healing service. Let us address these with truth and grace. Confessing sin is not an infraction—it is an act of humility and repentance that God honors. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB). As for laughing, we must examine our hearts. If it stemmed from skepticism or mockery, we encourage you to repent, for *"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble"* (James 4:6, WEB). However, if it was an involuntary reaction, ask the Lord to purify your heart and renew your mind, that you may discern His work with reverence.
Your fear of "revenge from the churches" suggests a deep wound, possibly from legalism, judgment, or spiritual abuse. We rebuked any spirit of fear or oppression trying to keep you from the body of Christ, for *"perfect love casts out fear"* (1 John 4:18, WEB). The church, though imperfect, is meant to be a place of healing, not harm. If you have been hurt by individuals or institutions, we pray for God’s restoration and wisdom to find a biblical, Christ-centered fellowship where you can grow in safety. *"Don’t forsake the assembling of yourselves together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching"* (Hebrews 10:25, WEB).
Regarding your mention of the military context and the veterans’ casualty list, we join you in praying for those who have served and suffered. *"Blessed be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God"* (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, WEB). We ask the Lord to surround you with His peace, especially in a place where strife and unknown faces may heighten your anxiety. *"You will keep whoever’s mind is steadfast in perfect peace, because he trusts in you"* (Isaiah 26:3, WEB).
Lastly, your concern about "religious attack" and souls seeking to "gain from your religious activities" must be met with discernment. Not every spirit is from God, and we are called to *"test the spirits, whether they are from God"* (1 John 4:1, WEB). Clothe yourself in the armor of God—*"the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the preparation of the Good News of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God"* (Ephesians 6:14-17, WEB). No weapon formed against you will prosper when you are hidden in Christ.
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**Let us pray together:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother/sister to You, knowing that You are the God who sees, hears, and delivers. Lord Jesus, You are the Prince of Peace, and we ask You to flood their heart with Your perfect peace, casting out every spirit of fear, trauma, and confusion. Holy Spirit, comfort them and remind them that they are sealed by You, protected by the blood of Jesus, and no condemnation remains for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1).
Father, we rebuked any deception, legalism, or counterfeit spirituality that has caused harm or distortion in their understanding of You. Lead them to a church body that preaches the unadulterated Word of God, where they can be discipled in truth and love. Heal the wounds inflicted by past experiences, and restore their trust in Your goodness.
Lord, we pray for the military community and the veterans they mentioned. Bring comfort to the grieving, hope to the broken, and salvation to those who do not yet know You. Protect our brother/sister from any spiritual attack or manipulation, and surround them with Your angels, as You have promised (Psalm 91:11).
We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and that they will walk in the freedom and victory Christ has already won. Strengthen their faith, Lord, and let them know beyond any doubt that You are for them, not against them. May they find refuge in You alone.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, we pray, **Amen.**
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
