We come before you with heavy hearts, for the words you have spoken reveal deep pain, confusion, and a spirit that is under severe attack. First, we must address the most urgent matter: your mention of suicide. This is not the will of God for your life. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary struggles, and it is a direct contradiction to the hope and purpose God has for you. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but Jesus came that you may have life, and have it abundantly. You are precious in His sight, and He has plans for you—plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). We rebuke this spirit of despair and death in the mighty name of Jesus Christ and command it to flee from you. You are not alone in this battle, and God is your strength and shield.
We also notice that while you mentioned "Thanks, Jesus" at the end, much of your prayer does not reflect a heart that is fully surrendered to Him or trusting in His sovereignty. There is no power in vague gratitude—salvation, hope, and deliverance come only through the name of Jesus Christ. As Scripture declares, *"There is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved"* (Acts 4:12). If you have not fully placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so now. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved (Romans 10:9). Without this foundation, prayers are empty, and there is no access to the Father. Repent of any bitterness, unbelief, or rebellion, and turn wholly to Him.
Now, let us address the distress in your words. You speak of religious persecution, family conflicts, and deep resentment toward women, even justifying abuse based on your interpretation of Scripture. This is not the heart of God. While it is true that women are called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24), and that they are to learn in quietness and full submission (1 Timothy 2:11-12), this does not mean women are to be blamed for the sins of men. Men are held accountable for their own actions, and abuse is never justified. The Bible commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, patiently, and without bitterness (Ephesians 5:25, Colossians 3:19). If you have been harmed or are struggling with anger toward women, we pray for healing and for the Lord to renew your mind with His truth. *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil"* (Ephesians 4:26-27). Bitterness and resentment give the enemy a foothold in your life. Release these burdens to Jesus, who alone can bring true justice and peace.
You also mention feeling provoked by the words and actions of women, particularly in relation to confession and past sins. While it is true that we are all sinners and that confession is necessary (1 John 1:9), it is not the role of others to force or manipulate confession through provocation. If you are feeling convicted, that is the work of the Holy Spirit, not of man. *"Godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, which brings no regret. But the sorrow of the world produces death"* (2 Corinthians 7:10). Do not confuse conviction from the Lord with the accusations of people or the condemnation of the enemy. If there are sins in your past, repent before God, seek His forgiveness, and walk in the freedom Christ has purchased for you. You do not need to live under the weight of shame or the fear of man.
Regarding your family conflicts—such as the baking soda and vinegar incidents—these seem to be minor misunderstandings that have been magnified into deep wounds. We encourage you to seek reconciliation where possible. *"If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men"* (Romans 12:18). Sometimes, family dynamics can be complicated, but holding onto offense only harms you. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom in how to address these issues with humility and grace. If your family has persecuted you for your faith, remember the words of Jesus: *"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when people reproach you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven"* (Matthew 5:10-12). Persecution is not a sign of God’s abandonment but an opportunity to trust Him more deeply.
You also expressed regret for reading the Bible, saying it has brought you pain. We understand that Scripture can sometimes feel convicting or difficult to understand, but it is the very word of God, *"living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart"* (Hebrews 4:12). The Bible is not the problem—the problem is the condition of our hearts when we approach it. If you are feeling condemned, remember that *"there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"* (Romans 8:1). Ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate His word to you, to bring healing and not harm. *"Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path"* (Psalm 119:105). Do not turn away from the only source of truth and life.
Lastly, you referenced a song title from Nirvana, a band known for themes of despair and rebellion. We urge you to be cautious about the media you consume, for *"whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8). Fill your mind with the things of God, not the things of this world that lead to darkness.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this beloved soul to You, knowing that You see their pain and hear their cries. Lord, we bind the spirit of suicide and command it to leave in the name of Jesus Christ. Fill this heart with Your peace that surpasses all understanding and guard their mind from the lies of the enemy. Father, if there is any bitterness, resentment, or unbelief, we ask that You would uproot it and replace it with Your love and truth. Heal the wounds of persecution, family strife, and past hurts. Lord, if this person has not fully surrendered to Jesus Christ, we pray that You would draw them to Yourself in repentance and faith. Let them know that salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of confusion and despair that has taken hold. Replace it with the Spirit of truth and hope. Help this beloved one to see women through Your eyes—with love, respect, and godly wisdom—not through the lens of pain or past experiences. Break the chains of anger and justification for sin, and bring healing to every broken place. Lord, we ask for reconciliation where it is possible and for wisdom in navigating family relationships. Let Your word be a lamp to their feet and a light to their path, not a source of regret but of life and freedom.
We declare that this person is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that You have a purpose for their life. Strengthen them to walk in Your ways, to trust in Your goodness, and to find their identity in Christ alone. Surround them with godly community and protect them from the schemes of the enemy. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Beloved, we urge you to seek godly counsel—whether through a pastor, a mature believer, or a biblical counselor—who can walk with you through these struggles. You are not meant to carry this burden alone. The body of Christ is here to support you, and Jesus is your ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Cling to Him, for He is faithful. *"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). Do not give up. Your life has value, and your story is not over. Trust in the Lord, and He will renew your strength (Isaiah 40:31). We are standing with you in prayer.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
