We hear the deep distress in your heart, and we are grieved by the weight of confusion, financial strain, and spiritual burden you are carrying. First, we lift you up in prayer, asking our Heavenly Father to bring clarity, peace, and restoration to your life. It is clear that you are seeking Jesus, and that is the most important step—He alone is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Let us address your concerns with the truth of Scripture and pray over them together.
You mention a sense of obligation to reimburse someone you barely knew for a financial loss, coupled with a belief that God is punishing you for not doing so by making your work harder and allowing others to "spiritually attack" you. We must gently but firmly rebuke this line of thinking, for it does not align with the character of God as revealed in His Word. Our Heavenly Father is not a God of confusion or arbitrary punishment (1 Corinthians 14:33). He does not operate through coincidences, superstitions, or hidden meanings in names or places. The idea that God would withhold blessing or allow harm to come to you because you did not give money to a stranger—especially when you instead gave to charities and those in need—is not supported by Scripture. In fact, Jesus commends giving to the poor and doing so in secret, without seeking reward or fearing reproach (Matthew 6:1-4).
The Bible teaches that we are to help others, especially believers, in their time of need (Galatians 6:10). However, this is to be done out of love and willingness, not compulsion or fear of divine retribution. You acted generously by giving to charities and those in need, and that is pleasing to God. The idea that you are now cursed or that your struggles are a direct result of not giving to this one individual is a lie from the enemy, intended to bring you under bondage to fear and guilt. The truth is, our struggles often come from living in a fallen world, and sometimes they are allowed by God to refine us, teach us, and draw us closer to Him—not to punish us for unknown sins (James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 1:6-7).
You also express frustration with the church’s teaching to "sit down and wait for help." While there are times when waiting on the Lord is necessary (Psalm 27:14), the Bible also calls us to action—seeking wisdom, working diligently, and trusting God in the process (Proverbs 3:5-6, 2 Thessalonians 3:10). If the church has failed to equip you with biblical truth or practical guidance, that is a failing on their part, not yours. We encourage you to seek out a Bible-believing church that teaches the full counsel of God’s Word and provides discipleship, so you can grow in your understanding of Scripture and your relationship with Christ.
Your mention of being subjected to a "bible of test and trials" is concerning. The Bible does speak of trials and testing, but it is always with the purpose of producing perseverance, maturity, and hope in us (James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-5). God does not delight in our suffering, but He uses it for our good and His glory. If you feel abandoned or as though you are being tested without purpose, we urge you to cling to the promise that God will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He is with you in this season, and He will see you through it.
We also note your thoughts about going to Japan, despite not speaking the language, having no money, or a clear plan. While it is good to have dreams and aspirations, we must seek God’s will in all things, especially in major life decisions. The Bible warns against making plans without seeking the Lord’s direction (Proverbs 16:9, James 4:13-15). If Japan is where God is calling you, He will make the way clear and provide for your needs. But if this is merely an escape from your current struggles, we encourage you to seek God’s wisdom and peace before moving forward. Trust that He has a plan for you, even if it is not what you expected (Jeremiah 29:11).
Finally, we want to address your closing words of thanks to Jesus. It is wonderful that you are turning to Him, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). Your prayer ends "in Jesus’ name," which is the only way we can approach the Father (John 14:6). We rejoice that you are looking to Christ, and we encourage you to continue seeking Him daily through prayer, reading His Word, and fellowship with other believers.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift our brother before Your throne of grace, asking for Your mercy, wisdom, and peace to flood his heart and mind. Lord, he is burdened by confusion, financial strain, and a sense of spiritual oppression. We ask that You would break every lie of the enemy that has taken root in his thoughts—especially the idea that You are punishing him or that his struggles are a result of some hidden sin. Father, You are just and good, and Your love for him is steadfast. Remind him of Your faithfulness and Your promise to never leave him nor forsake him.
Lord, we pray for clarity in his mind. Where there is confusion, bring truth. Where there is fear, bring faith. Where there is despair, bring hope. Help him to see his circumstances through the lens of Your Word, not through superstition or misplaced guilt. Give him wisdom in his work, provision for his needs, and discernment for his future. If there are steps he needs to take—whether in his career, education, or spiritual growth—make them clear to him, and give him the courage to obey.
We also pray for protection over his heart and mind. Guard him against the schemes of the enemy, who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Fill him with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and let it rule in his heart (Philippians 4:7). Restore to him the joy of Your salvation and the strength to walk in Your ways.
Father, if there are areas where he needs to repent or seek forgiveness, reveal them to him gently and lead him to confession and restoration. If there are relationships or obligations that need to be addressed, give him wisdom and grace to handle them in a way that honors You.
We pray for Your provision in his life—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Open doors for him that no man can shut, and provide opportunities for him to grow in his faith and his calling. If it is Your will for him to pursue further education or a new path, make the way clear and provide the resources he needs.
Lastly, Lord, surround him with godly community—a church that will disciple him, encourage him, and walk with him through this season. Let him find brothers and sisters in Christ who will speak truth into his life and remind him of Your promises.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is our hope and redemption. Amen.
We encourage you to meditate on these Scriptures and let them renew your mind:
- **Romans 8:28**: "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."
- **Philippians 4:19**: "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
- **2 Corinthians 10:5**: "We bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
- **1 Peter 5:7**: "Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you."
Keep seeking Jesus, and do not lose heart. He is with you, and He will lead you into truth and freedom. If you have not already, we urge you to surrender your life fully to Christ, repenting of any sin and trusting in His finished work on the cross for your salvation. There is no greater peace or security than being found in Him. If you would like to talk more about what it means to follow Jesus or need further guidance, we are here to help. May the Lord bless you and keep you in His perfect peace.
