Thank you Abba Father

[Chrysostom]

Your words have been heard, and I thank you for finding the strength to write them even when it felt that you had little left. You spoke honestly about a deep hurt that is hard to put into words, about sadness and weariness in body and spirit, about feeling isolated from others and about the cold in your room, and at the same time you gave thanks for life, for a roof over your head, for daily meals, for health and for the semester ahead. That thankfulness in the midst of hardship is precious before God.

God does not despise a quiet and weary prayer. When you have no words except silent and spoken prayer, that prayer is still heard. The Lord knows the ache you cannot fully express, and He draws near to those who are bowed down. Do not despair of His care for you, even when the days feel heavy and lonely. The enemy never ceases to hope for our discouragement, but we must not give up hope in God's mercy and help.

Scripture teaches us that our salvation comes not only through believing but also through enduring with patience what God allows. Suffering, when borne with trust in Christ, does not empty the soul but can make it stronger and more perfect, as Christ Himself was glorified through suffering, not because He lacked glory, but to show us the path. Long suffering is a great protection for the soul. Like a spark falling into the deep, trials fall upon a patient soul and are quenched without destroying it. God permits these seasons to keep us humble, to teach us to trust not in ourselves but in Him, and to make us companions with Christ in His sufferings so that we may also share in His comfort.

You have shown lowliness and meekness in the way you refuse self pity and choose gratitude even for small mercies. Continue to walk in that spirit. Bear with patience the discomfort of this present dwelling, and give diligence to keep peace in your heart. If it is possible, speak calmly and respectfully to those responsible for the building about the cold, for it is right to seek what is needed for health while still giving thanks for provision.

I pray for you now.

Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, I thank You for this dear one whom You have kept through this season. You see the hurt in spirit, mind and body that is hard to speak, the loneliness, the cold, and the weariness. Have mercy and grant comfort. Give warmth and rest under Your care, even when the room is cold and covers are many. Touch the body and bring healing where there is ailment, steady the heart and mind with Your peace, and lift the sadness with the hope of Your presence. Provide for every need in this time of transition, prepare the way for relocation, and bless the coming semester with strength and clarity. Teach this soul to endure with patience and to feel Your nearness in silent prayer, and let Your grace which works within carry and sustain each day. Keep this one from despair and fill the heart with quiet confidence in Your goodness. In Jesus name, Amen.

Do not withdraw entirely, even though conversation feels hard. Keep praying as you are doing, and when you are able, seek even one trusted person, a pastor, counselor or friend, with whom you can share a little of this burden. You are not forgotten. God is with you in this room, under these covers, in this waiting time, and He will not leave you without help. May His love, like a faithful gardener, keep your heart from thorns and make it fruitful even in this winter season.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for reaching out and for sharing so honestly what you are carrying. It took real spiritual strength to write when the hurt in your spirit and mind and body feels too deep for words, and God sees that effort. He hears both your silent prayers and your spoken prayers, even when you have little desire or energy to speak to anyone else.

Your gratitude in the middle of hardship is a beautiful offering to the Lord. To thank Him for life, for a roof over your head, for daily meals, for a steady heartbeat and health in your body, and even for an upcoming semester while you are cold and uncomfortable and isolated, shows a heart that is still turned toward Him. That thankfulness does not deny the pain. You named both together, the sadness you feel responsible for and the physical ailments you chose not to detail, the loneliness of having little conversation beyond your roommate, and the discomfort of a freezing room. God understands the whole of it.

Much of the suffering we experience as believers is not only physical. There is an emotional and spiritual weight that comes from feeling out of step with the world around us. Jesus said that if we belonged to the world, the world would love us as its own, but because we belong to Him we can feel like strangers. That can make ordinary moments, like hearing music in a common room, feel jarring and make you want to withdraw. The Lord knows that kind of sorrow. He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows. He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities, and He still bears the marks of His suffering for you. He is not distant from your pain. He weeps over the pain that sin has brought into this world and into our lives, and He draws near to those who hurt.

Part of what you are feeling is a deep thirst in the spirit that no physical comfort and no emotional experience can satisfy. A warmer room, a different song, even a better set of circumstances cannot quench a spiritual thirst. Only God can. People often try to fill that thirst with material things or with chasing one emotional experience after another, but those things leave the heart empty again. Jesus invites those who thirst to come to Him and drink, and He gives living water that satisfies the inner person. Your turning to prayer, even when you cannot bear much other communication, is the right place to go.

God also uses seasons of suffering to do a quiet work inside us that cannot happen any other way. Suffering causes roots to go deep. It builds character and strength and a richness of depth with Him. The apostle Paul wrote that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us. That does not minimize what you feel now. It puts it in the light of hope. There is a day coming when there will be no more tears, no more death, no more sorrow and no more pain, for the former things will have passed away. All the sorrow and suffering we know now comes from living in a fallen world, but God has promised to make all things new and to give beauty for ashes and joy for mourning to those who trust Him.

His love toward you in this season is the kind of love Scripture calls agape. It is not only physical and not only emotional. It is divine, self giving love. Its marks are joy, peace, and long suffering that is also kind. Long suffering is not keeping count of how much we can endure. It is a spirit of patient kindness that keeps loving and keeps being gentle even through a long hard season. That is how God loves you. He is patient with you, kind toward you, and faithful to keep you.

Keep bringing your heart to Him honestly. Keep thanking Him as you have been, and keep asking Him to be your comfort under those covers, your warmth in the cold, your peace in the sadness, and your strength for the semester ahead. If you can, let His word feed you each day, even in small portions, and when you have strength, allow one trusted believer to know how you are doing so you are not entirely alone. He who sees you in that room hears every prayer.

May the Lord lift this heavy sadness, ease your body, provide a more comfortable place to live in His timing, and fill your spirit with His presence. May He remind you daily that you are loved, seen, and kept by Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have salvation and peace with God. May He give you appetite for His word, rest for your mind, and quiet hope for what is ahead, until the day He wipes away every tear. Amen.