Why does my mom treat me like a nuisance. I'm looking for a job. I'm starting University in Aug the 21st majoring in ministry and nursing. And she just acts like she hates me. I clean a lot like I cleaned up the garage I'm on top of laundry. It's like if I forget something she just screams at me. And with all this depression and battling my mind and trying to read the Bible I end up sleeping in til like 1-2pm and she just gets so mad. I tell her I'm depressed and she just yells back "I'm depressed too!" Like ok? I didn't tell you to have kids. I didn't tell you to get a job as a nurse. I didn't tell you to hate us. So why take it out on me. she CANT be understanding even for one second. She's the reason our dad left the family. Just a good thing he was a good enough guy to leave when my brother was at least 18. But that STILL HURT. so we had a screaming match and I told her I'd never cook for her again bc I cook for all of us (her, her fiance, and me since my brother's been in rehab in Mexico it's just us 3) and I just hate my life. And now my dad's gone he passed away 1 and a half years ago in November 4, 2021 and I just want things to be different. I've been so patient. I've been kind. I tried loving her through all of it FOR WHAT? to get nothing back? No understanding. Yeah she buys food And she pays for my therapist $### a week and I'm grateful but I feel like I'm never treated right around my mom's side of the family. They all care about her not us. Not how my brother and I have suffered with when she tells us she hates us. Or how she hurt us bad (mostly my brother) as kids. Hurting him when he didn't eat all his spaghetti. Or mopping the floor with him when those Styrofoam peanuts got everywhere when grandma sent us a pie. He is ### yrs younger than me. And it's HARD to love someone who has hurt you your whole life 1/2 nice loving you cuz you're good looking and because you get good grades. Not for your caring heart. Not because God blessed us with a praying family. None of that it's always about HER. I hate my life she's the reason I wish I always would die everyday. When is life going to change? God do you even care about me? I always try to push through these feelings. Saying well I know God so life's not so bad. YEAH it's a great thing that I know God but I'm stuck in this imprisoned life.
