We lift you up before the Lord with deep compassion for the burdens you carry—both physically and spiritually. Your situation reveals layers of struggle: relational stress, health challenges, financial dependence, and the weight of isolation. We also commend you for seeking God’s will in this and for praying in the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we find true hope and deliverance. Let us address each area with Scripture, prayer, and godly counsel, trusting that the Lord will bring clarity, healing, and provision as you surrender all to Him.
First, we must address the nature of your relationship with this man. While he identifies as a Christian, his actions do not reflect the fruits of a spiritually mature believer who walks closely with the Lord. A godly man—especially one courting a sister in Christ—should be leading in prayer, studying Scripture together, and encouraging you in your faith. Instead, you describe reluctance, temptation (even in areas affecting your health), and a lack of spiritual leadership. This is not the biblical model for a relationship, let alone one that should be moving toward marriage. Ephesians 5:25-29 commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and nurturingly. If this man is not demonstrating that love now, how can you expect it in marriage? Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that "charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised." Similarly, a man who fears the Lord will prioritize your spiritual well-being over temporary pleasures or control.
Moreover, you mention the fear and dread you feel around him, as well as the absence of expectation. These are serious red flags. 1 Corinthians 7:15 tells us that if an unbeliever (or in this case, a professing believer who is not walking in faith) chooses to leave, the brother or sister is not bound. While he is providing financial support, that does not justify remaining in a relationship that is spiritually and emotionally harmful. God does not want you to stay in a situation out of fear or obligation, especially when it is damaging your health and faith. Trust that the Lord will provide for your needs—He is your ultimate Provider (Philippians 4:19), not this man.
We also grieve with you over the toll this relationship has taken on your health. The stress is exacerbating your autoimmune disease, and his temptation to eat foods that harm you is not an act of love. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are to glorify God with them. It is not loving for someone to encourage habits that harm you, especially when they know the consequences. This is another sign that his priorities are not aligned with Christ’s.
As for your financial dependence, we understand the fear of not knowing how you will provide for yourself, especially with your physical limitations. But remember: the Lord is your Shepherd, and you shall not want (Psalm 23:1). He has promised to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5), and He is able to open doors for provision in ways you cannot imagine. It may require stepping out in faith—perhaps moving to a more affordable living situation, seeking assistance from your church family, or exploring remote work that accommodates your health. But do not let fear of man or circumstances keep you in a place where your soul and body are suffering.
We also note your mention of age and the challenge of finding stable work. While the world may discriminate, God does not. He sees your value, and His timing is perfect. Trust that He has a plan for you, even in this season of waiting (Jeremiah 29:11). Your identity is not in your employment status or this relationship—it is in Christ alone.
Lastly, we join you in praying for your boyfriend’s salvation. If he is truly in Christ, the Lord will convict and transform him. If he is not, we pray that the Holy Spirit will open his eyes to his need for repentance and faith in Jesus. But remember: you cannot save him, and you are not responsible for his spiritual state. Your responsibility is to walk in obedience to God, even if that means stepping away from this relationship for your own well-being.
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**Let us pray together:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, who is weary and burdened by the weight of this relationship, her health struggles, and the fear of the unknown. Lord, You see her heart, her pain, and her deep desire for Your will to be done. We ask that You grant her wisdom and discernment to see this situation through Your eyes, not through fear or human logic.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of fear that has taken hold of her (2 Timothy 1:7), and we ask that You replace it with Your perfect love, which casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Give her the courage to make godly decisions, even if they are difficult. If this relationship is not of You, Lord, we pray that You would sever the ties that bind her to it. Set her free from any emotional or financial dependence that is not from Your hand. Provide for her in miraculous ways—through Your people, through healing, through open doors of opportunity—so that she may know without a doubt that You are her Provider.
Lord, we lift up her health to You. You are Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. We ask that You touch her spine, her vertebrae, her intestines, and her pelvis. Restore her body, Lord, and grant her strength. Give her the discipline to care for her temple in a way that honors You, and remove any temptations that would harm her. We pray for complete healing, whether through medical means or supernatural intervention, so that she may live without pain and limitation.
Father, we also pray for her boyfriend. If he is truly Yours, convict him deeply of his lack of spiritual leadership and his failure to love as Christ loves. Soften his heart to repentance and a hunger for Your Word. If he is not truly saved, Lord, do not let him remain in deception. Bring him to a place of brokenness where he surrenders his life to You. But Lord, do not let our sister remain in a place of unequally yoked bondage. Give her the strength to walk away if that is Your will, trusting that You will never abandon her.
Lord, we pray for her future—her work, her ministry, her relationships. Open doors that no man can shut (Revelation 3:8), and give her favor in the eyes of those who can offer her stable employment. Surround her with godly community, sisters and brothers in Christ who will uplift her, pray with her, and walk alongside her in this season. Remove the isolation and depression that has taken root, and fill her with Your joy and peace.
Father, we ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, who came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18). Let Your will be done in her life, and let Your glory be revealed through her story. Strengthen her, Lord, and let her know that she is not alone—You are with her, and so are we, her brothers and sisters in Christ. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
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We encourage you to seek counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your church who can walk with you through this season. You do not have to carry this alone. The body of Christ is meant to support one another (Galatians 6:2), and there is wisdom in seeking godly advice. Also, consider fasting and praying for clarity—sometimes stepping away from distractions helps us hear the Lord’s voice more clearly.
If you feel led, we also encourage you to write down the ways this relationship has harmed your walk with God, your health, and your peace. Sometimes seeing it on paper brings clarity to what the Holy Spirit may already be revealing to you. Remember: obedience to God’s Word will always lead to blessing, even if the path is difficult at first.
Stay steadfast, sister. The Lord is your strength and your song (Exodus 15:2), and He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Trust Him, even in the waiting.
Thank you. However, my physical pain and also the bone erosion of my right sacroiliac joint make me unable to sit on a soft chair. So most churches I cannot join fellowship there. I am not under the covering of a biblical church because of this disease. Pls pray for me, thx
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
