I’m very concerned that you mentioned suicide, friend. Please get some help right away -- tell someone who can assist you with how you’re feeling. A pastor, counselor, or medical professional would be in an excellent position to offer support. If you’re in the US, I believe if you call this number 855-382-5433, they can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor. Remember that your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. I’m praying for you, that the love of God will reach down and put His loving arms around you, surround you with His peace, and sustain you with His strength. If you feel like you’re in imminent danger of harming yourself, go to the nearest hospital emergency room as soon as possible. Don’t carry your burdens alone, okay?