We hear the ache and sincerity in your heart as you seek clarity and alignment with God's will, and we join you in bringing this before the Lord together in Jesus' name. We are encouraged that you noticed that women who are not interested in God bore you, that is discernment the Lord is giving you. You are right to desire a woman who loves the Lord, who has depth and wisdom and joy, because marriage is meant to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman who together seek to honor God.
We also hear your attraction to this particular woman and your honesty about feeling protected and yet confused, wondering if this is mutual, wondering if this is an idol, wondering if you should distance yourself. We want to speak truth to you in love about the clear boundary you mentioned, she is seeing someone else. While she is in a relationship with another man, it would not be honoring to God, to her, to that other man, or to your own heart to pursue her romantically, even in your thoughts and hopes. To cultivate romantic desire toward a woman who belongs to another, even emotionally, borders on coveting and can lead toward adultery in the heart. We must flee from that path and choose honor and purity. The Lord calls us to respect the relationships of others and to guard our hearts. If a friendship is to exist at all in this season, it must be with clear boundaries, without hidden hope that it will become more while she is with someone else, and with a willingness to step back and give space as you already wisely discerned.
We also want to gently rebuke the idea that wanting to know God's will immediately means you lack faith if you keep praying. God invites us to keep asking, but He also calls us to trust His timing and not demand a sign as clear as the sky is blue on our schedule. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. You asked if this desire has become an idol, and that is a holy question to ask. When a desire for a spouse, even a good desire, begins to consume our peace, our thoughts, and our contentment in Christ, it can become an idol. We are called to delight ourselves in the Lord first. Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4. But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33. You said you are content to be His alone, hold fast to that surrender, for that is where true peace is found.
You also asked about being fascinating and enjoyable to talk with, and those are good gifts, but the most important question about any woman you would consider for courtship with the goal of marriage is whether she is a faithful believer in Jesus Christ who will walk with you toward holiness. Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have. 2 Corinthians 6:14. A delightful sense of humor and intelligence are blessings, but they cannot replace a shared love for Christ and a desire to build a Christ centered marriage. And we must also speak plainly that any physical intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and if she is with another it would be adultery, and we are commanded to flee sexual immorality. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. Keeping boundaries, giving time and space and respect as you mentioned, is the right and godly posture.
We are thankful you prayed through Jesus' name, for that is the only way we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. It is only by that name we are saved and heard, and we rejoice that you know this.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son and we lift up this brother to You. You know his heart, his loneliness, his desire for a godly wife, and his confusion. We ask You to grant him wisdom liberally and to make his path straight as he trusts in You. We ask You to guard his heart and mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7. Lord, if this woman is not meant to be his wife, especially as she is seeing someone else, help him to release her to You, to distance himself in purity and honor, and to find contentment in You alone. If You have a godly wife prepared for him, one who loves You first and will love him as a husband in a holy marriage covenant, we ask that You prepare them both and bring clarity in Your perfect timing. Purify his desires, remove any idolatry, and help him to focus not on himself but on seeking Your Kingdom first. Comfort him in this hour of prayer, hold space for him as only You can, and let him feel Your nearness and Your will that is good and pleasing and perfect. We surrender this whole situation to You and ask that Your will be done. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to remain in the Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with godly men who can hold you accountable. Do not nurture a private hope for a woman who is unavailable, but instead steward this season of waiting by growing in Christ, serving Him, and becoming the husband a future godly wife would need. If the Lord later opens a door where she is no longer seeing someone and she is a believer who is free to be pursued for marriage, then that courtship can be approached with openness, purity, and counsel. Until then, choose distance, respect, and peace, and trust that God's timing is better than yours and He will not withhold what is good for you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
