Silas
Beloved of All
Your willingness to share something so personal and discouraging is appreciated, and your desire to walk honestly before the Lord is clear. Thank you for stating so plainly that this is not about hidden sexual sin or a careless life. It helps to hear you, and there is no need to assume what you have already addressed before the Lord.
What you are describing is a very real part of the spiritual conflict that surrounds a life that is seeking God more earnestly. When you set your heart to pray, to fast, and to feed on Scripture, you are strengthening the inner spiritual life. Fasting in its biblical sense is not a way to bargain with God or to obligate Him to act because you have gone without food. Its value is that it quiets the claims of the physical life for a time so that the spiritual life can be nourished through prayer and the Word. That inner strengthening is good and right, and Jesus Himself fasted, and He taught that some spiritual opposition is only faced through prayer joined with fasting.
At the same time, the Bible shows us that there is a warfare that goes on beyond what we see. Daniel set himself to seek God with fasting and prayer, and the answer was delayed because of opposition from spiritual powers of darkness until the Lord brought deliverance. We do not always perceive that warfare, but we often feel its pressure. It should not surprise us that when you press into prayer in the night watches or set aside time to fast, there can be increased resistance. The enemy opposes progress in the spiritual life, and disturbing dreams can be one form of that opposition, meant to confuse, discourage, and make you question whether prayer is worthwhile.
It is important to remember what prayer truly is. Prayer rests on relationship. Through faith in Jesus Christ you have been brought into the family of God, and you can come to Him as Father. That relationship is what gives prayer its meaning and access. Prayer is not an effort to inform God of something He does not know, nor is it a way to make Him do what you want. Its purpose is to align your heart with His purposes so that what He already desires to do can be accomplished as you consent and ask Him to work. In that sense prayer opens the door for God to do on your behalf what He has wanted to do all along, without violating the will He has given you.
Prayer is also not measured by length or intensity alone. The prayers recorded in Scripture are often brief and simple. What matters is not how long you stay on your knees, but that your heart is turned to the Father in the name of Jesus with faith and sincerity. One short, honest prayer from a trusting child can be effectual and fervent and accomplish much, as James reminds us with the example of Elijah.
For that reason, when these attacks come, the most helpful focus is not to chase a special formula of deliverance, but to invite the presence and power of Jesus Christ more fully into your life. Light and darkness cannot remain together. When Christ is welcomed and enthroned, darkness must leave. Rather than praying mainly against the darkness, pray for His entrance, His fullness, His rule in every part of your heart and mind and even in your sleep. That includes worship, which is itself a form of prayer, simply beholding the greatness and glory of God and thanking Him for the victory already won at the cross.
The weapons for this conflict are not of the flesh. They are spiritual, and God has provided them. The Word of God, faith, and prayer in the Spirit are given to stand against the attacks of the enemy and to bring the victory of Christ into the situation. You are not left to rebuke something in your own strength while your guard is down in sleep. Your strength is in taking authority by trusting what Jesus has already done and asking the Father to establish that victory over your mind and body.
A few simple practices have helped many who have walked through this same discouragement to find breakthrough.
Keep your times of fasting always joined to prayer and the Word, not as a mechanical duty to earn an answer, but as feeding the spiritual life. Before you sleep, take a brief time to worship, to thank the Father that you are His child through Jesus, and to commit your mind and your rest to Him, asking that His will be done in you. If you listen to Scripture as you sleep, let it be a quiet testimony of trust, not a test of whether it will stop the dreams. When a disturbing dream does come, do not receive condemnation from it. Upon waking, turn again to the Father in a simple, direct prayer, affirming your trust in the blood of Jesus, thanking Him that you are cleansed and kept by Him, and asking Him to fill your thoughts with His peace.
Over time, as you continue to walk this way, many have found that the frequency and power of these experiences diminish, not because they learned a technique, but because the spiritual life grew stronger and the sense of Christ's presence became more settled. The contradiction you feel will give way to greater confidence in the power of God and the price Jesus paid.
May the Father grant you clarity and steady encouragement. May He guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, give you rest that is peaceful, and make His power and nearness more real to you than any disturbance. You are not alone in this, and the One who has begun this work of drawing you closer to Himself will be faithful to keep you and to bring you into the fullness of that power you are seeking.
What you are describing is a very real part of the spiritual conflict that surrounds a life that is seeking God more earnestly. When you set your heart to pray, to fast, and to feed on Scripture, you are strengthening the inner spiritual life. Fasting in its biblical sense is not a way to bargain with God or to obligate Him to act because you have gone without food. Its value is that it quiets the claims of the physical life for a time so that the spiritual life can be nourished through prayer and the Word. That inner strengthening is good and right, and Jesus Himself fasted, and He taught that some spiritual opposition is only faced through prayer joined with fasting.
At the same time, the Bible shows us that there is a warfare that goes on beyond what we see. Daniel set himself to seek God with fasting and prayer, and the answer was delayed because of opposition from spiritual powers of darkness until the Lord brought deliverance. We do not always perceive that warfare, but we often feel its pressure. It should not surprise us that when you press into prayer in the night watches or set aside time to fast, there can be increased resistance. The enemy opposes progress in the spiritual life, and disturbing dreams can be one form of that opposition, meant to confuse, discourage, and make you question whether prayer is worthwhile.
It is important to remember what prayer truly is. Prayer rests on relationship. Through faith in Jesus Christ you have been brought into the family of God, and you can come to Him as Father. That relationship is what gives prayer its meaning and access. Prayer is not an effort to inform God of something He does not know, nor is it a way to make Him do what you want. Its purpose is to align your heart with His purposes so that what He already desires to do can be accomplished as you consent and ask Him to work. In that sense prayer opens the door for God to do on your behalf what He has wanted to do all along, without violating the will He has given you.
Prayer is also not measured by length or intensity alone. The prayers recorded in Scripture are often brief and simple. What matters is not how long you stay on your knees, but that your heart is turned to the Father in the name of Jesus with faith and sincerity. One short, honest prayer from a trusting child can be effectual and fervent and accomplish much, as James reminds us with the example of Elijah.
For that reason, when these attacks come, the most helpful focus is not to chase a special formula of deliverance, but to invite the presence and power of Jesus Christ more fully into your life. Light and darkness cannot remain together. When Christ is welcomed and enthroned, darkness must leave. Rather than praying mainly against the darkness, pray for His entrance, His fullness, His rule in every part of your heart and mind and even in your sleep. That includes worship, which is itself a form of prayer, simply beholding the greatness and glory of God and thanking Him for the victory already won at the cross.
The weapons for this conflict are not of the flesh. They are spiritual, and God has provided them. The Word of God, faith, and prayer in the Spirit are given to stand against the attacks of the enemy and to bring the victory of Christ into the situation. You are not left to rebuke something in your own strength while your guard is down in sleep. Your strength is in taking authority by trusting what Jesus has already done and asking the Father to establish that victory over your mind and body.
A few simple practices have helped many who have walked through this same discouragement to find breakthrough.
Keep your times of fasting always joined to prayer and the Word, not as a mechanical duty to earn an answer, but as feeding the spiritual life. Before you sleep, take a brief time to worship, to thank the Father that you are His child through Jesus, and to commit your mind and your rest to Him, asking that His will be done in you. If you listen to Scripture as you sleep, let it be a quiet testimony of trust, not a test of whether it will stop the dreams. When a disturbing dream does come, do not receive condemnation from it. Upon waking, turn again to the Father in a simple, direct prayer, affirming your trust in the blood of Jesus, thanking Him that you are cleansed and kept by Him, and asking Him to fill your thoughts with His peace.
Over time, as you continue to walk this way, many have found that the frequency and power of these experiences diminish, not because they learned a technique, but because the spiritual life grew stronger and the sense of Christ's presence became more settled. The contradiction you feel will give way to greater confidence in the power of God and the price Jesus paid.
May the Father grant you clarity and steady encouragement. May He guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, give you rest that is peaceful, and make His power and nearness more real to you than any disturbance. You are not alone in this, and the One who has begun this work of drawing you closer to Himself will be faithful to keep you and to bring you into the fullness of that power you are seeking.
