This is long but please bare with me.
I recently met 2 1/2 yr. old Serenity while waiting in a food line at one of Houston’s outreach centers. While Serenity was a bit preoccupied with a PB&J sandwich, which she was thoroughly enjoying; and a little too shy to talk to me, her grandmother shared with me her plight of having been met with various trials in trying to care for her. I have no intention of sharing Serenity’s story, that’s for her to do, when she’s ready. I pray that when that time comes, she won’t face such opposition as I have. Some feel that I should just shut up; while still others are of the opinion that people don’t need to know my whole story. I’m so glad we know Jesus’ whole story, otherwise we could be worshiping a thief. My story is for people like Serenity and countless others who either cannot yet share their story or have had their story crushed by the callus attitudes of those in whom they’ve trusted. Feel free to shut up your testimony; that’s not what God called me to do (Is. 58:1). I refuse to rob God of his glory by withholding my testimony. So, if it’s all the same, I believe I’ll testify and pattern my story after the bible’s format: The whole story, starting with lineage. God says “I will direct their work in TRUTH,” not in part.
So much has happened in my life since my last entry. It hasn’t always seemed positive on the surface. But I know, because I love Him, God’s is working all things together for my good. I used to think this journey was my own personal and private issue. But since I answered God’s call, I understand that it truly is all about Him. Some people think that I’m seeking attention or some sick sort of fame. But, I know different. God had to literally drag me out into the open kicking and screaming. Even though I had said yes to the call, my inherent private and somewhat shy nature threatened to hinder my testimony. “But GOD” has a way of turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Since He’s omniscient, He foreknew my fear of public speaking and endowed me, even as a child, with the gift of writing. I can’t help the assumptions people make regarding my motive. The fact is, this is my journey and the only person who can testify to it, is me. This is not an exposé, nor is it to accuse or seek vengeance. I didn’t even want to speak about it for the very reason that I did not want to be perceived as negative or ungrateful. But, because it’s so scripturally accurate, I must testify.
About two months ago, I was kicked out of the homeless shelter where I had been living. In my last entry I wrote that I had been voluntarily working within the organization. Well, that wasn’t altogether true. The work part was exhaustingly true. But it wasn’t altogether voluntary. Which, in and of itself, would not have troubled me, but for the retaliatory intent and subsequent attempted cover-up behind it. The initial agreement was that, like everyone else, I was to receive a stipend for my job assignment. However, my wages were denied after I rejected the advances of one of the supervising Directors. He then accused and maliciously spread word that I had a bad attitude, and then set out to ensure that I would never receive wages. I remained in the situation, frankly, because I did not want to be thrown back onto the streets; as was sometimes threatened. I had also become quite fond of caring for the older ladies as well as serving other homeless people in the soup kitchen. In order to maintain some stability, so that I could get back on track, I simply accepted the situation as part of my calling and took on an attitude of servitude.
Other residents were set against me: I was suddenly being accused and written up for everything from being too quiet when I was sick; to praying too openly during Lenten season. My work was often sabotaged; I was lied on; talked about; my hair was cut off while I was sleeping. For all these things the perpetrators were rewarded with increased stipends, better positions, clothing and better living quarters. Yet, in each situation, I clung to (Is. 54:17) and watched as God blocked their attempts to harm me by allowing them to fall into their own traps. In a couple instances He even placed a couple ladies’ illegal drugs right in my hands, causing leadership to enforce their own rule of automatic eviction:
Scripture Fulfilled
Denied wages (Is. 52:3)
Plotted against, ganged up on (Is. 54:15)
Adversaries fell (Is. 54:17)
Basically enslaved (Is. 49.25)
Put out of the house (Is. 66:5)
I could be bitter about being back on the streets but I know God is using this situation to advance me to the next level of my journey. Is homelessness embarrassing? Yes. But not for the reason you may think. It’s embarrassing to watch as multitudes, many who self-identify as Christian and all who are “human”, walk past those in need. Homelessness is not contagious; but love transcends. Even during our recreational time we can find ways to help the less fortunate: As exemplified by a little boy in San Diego who decided to use Pokémon Go to seek out homeless people; not to mock them or drive them out, as I have, unfortunately, witnessed here. But rather to get food and other resources to them (and a little child shall lead them).
As Americans we sometimes feel justified in looking down our noses at those of lower economic status. After all, we’ve all had the same opportunities, right??? That is until we experience loss or misfortune in our own lives, then we expect the world to stop and tend to our suffering. It’s OK as long as the homeless stay over there, hidden, under a bridge, out of view. We place far too much emphasis on outward appearance rather than lend consideration to what’s beneath the surface. A practice that makes us easily deceived (Is. 50:20). Anybody can look the part; it’s the position one’s heart that matters (James 2:3-4). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you don’t look homeless.” What does that even mean?! Maybe the reason I get so many judgmental and disdainful looks, usually from my own people (also scriptural) once they learn that I am, in fact homeless, is because the very sight of me brings it too close to home: illness, natural disaster or perhaps a paycheck or two and “there but for the grace of God.” ”Get a job already!” Like you, I’ve been guilty of saying that, even to myself. But, to know anything about God is to understand that He will sometimes allow your brook to dry up to “INSPIRE” you to move into the promise for which you were created. That’s just how he does it. Why? Because He’s GOD!
I’m not naive; I know that not all homeless people are doing the right thing. But, that’s true of all walks of life. Not all co-workers or employers are above reproach. As a former Enron employee, I experienced that firsthand. Neither are all friends, family members, church folk or clergy alike, for that matter (Is. 3:14, Matt. 23:3, Is. 56:11). God does not command us to wait until the needy get it together before we help them. Yet, we require a perfection of them that God never required of us (While we were yet sinners Jesus died for us). God says those who hold the world’s goods should not send the needy away saying come back tomorrow, but feed His people, shelter and clothe them. Maybe homelessness is not so much a punishment for some as it is a test for others, to make record of our response . . .
“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home”.
I’m simply saying, “We can do better”. While we’re filling military planes, to the brim, to feed foreign nations; children and elderly in this country go hungry. We rebuilt Iraq but we can’t house homeless Americans, many of whom are Veterans? This country is far too wealthy for any American to ever go hungry or homeless. We have more abandoned buildings and discard more food than most other nations could ever dream of having. Charity begins at home. On an individual level, your generosity could make all the difference in the world to someone who may be struggling to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Perhaps his laces are frayed or maybe he’s in a place where he doesn’t have boots, let alone straps.
“Jesus wept” I can’t even imagine how sad it must make Jesus to see how the homeless are treated with such disregard and disrespect. Yet, we profess to love Jesus, whom himself was homeless, “The Son of man hath no place to lay his head.” I understand that you are busy with your careers. I’ve been there, so has Jesus, he had a career; he was a carpenter (think about that the next time you enter into your home - that’s held together by carpenter’s NAILS). Yet, Jesus somehow found the time to look past our faults and see our need as He was NAILED to the cross in our place.
Please, let not your hearts be hardened, rather submit yourselves to God’s WILL, that He may soften your hearts. The next time you find yourself judging the face of homelessness, consider Serenity. You never know whether there’s a Serenity depending on that homeless face. When I told my daughter about Serenity, I asked her to buy a doll, because every little girl should have a doll of her own. No child should ever have to live on the streets. In fact every child should have the benefit of a beautiful beginning; life generally works out better as a result. I still have the doll because I haven’t seen Serenity and her grandmother in a few weeks. I prayed that God would bless them with a stable home, befitting a little princess. I maintain faith that He has done just that. Like Paul, “I write these things not to shame you; but rather to warn you” (1 Corinthians 4:7-21)
I challenge Mayor Turner. I believe that God reserved yet delayed the Mayor’s office for him, for such a time as this. What an awesome platform upon which to build a worthy legacy.
Who am I to speak this way? I’m the least esteemed among you. (Right Now)
I am eternally grateful for the services provided by the following organizations: St. Paul Episcopal Church (EAC); South Main Baptist Church; Search; The Beacon; Magnificat House; Lord of the Streets. God bless you all. On a more personal level, though at times, I get weak (“They that wait upon the LORD shall RENEW their strength . . .”) God has placed some amazing people along my path to help sustain me by allowing me to use their resources. I can’t list them, for obvious reasons. But, I see you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Moreover, God sees you and He promises to reward you “. . . in good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.” God’s promises are bankable!
There's always a song in my heart, for the last few days that song has been one by my all-time favorite Artist, Donny Hathaway: "Lord We Need You Right Now"
I recently met 2 1/2 yr. old Serenity while waiting in a food line at one of Houston’s outreach centers. While Serenity was a bit preoccupied with a PB&J sandwich, which she was thoroughly enjoying; and a little too shy to talk to me, her grandmother shared with me her plight of having been met with various trials in trying to care for her. I have no intention of sharing Serenity’s story, that’s for her to do, when she’s ready. I pray that when that time comes, she won’t face such opposition as I have. Some feel that I should just shut up; while still others are of the opinion that people don’t need to know my whole story. I’m so glad we know Jesus’ whole story, otherwise we could be worshiping a thief. My story is for people like Serenity and countless others who either cannot yet share their story or have had their story crushed by the callus attitudes of those in whom they’ve trusted. Feel free to shut up your testimony; that’s not what God called me to do (Is. 58:1). I refuse to rob God of his glory by withholding my testimony. So, if it’s all the same, I believe I’ll testify and pattern my story after the bible’s format: The whole story, starting with lineage. God says “I will direct their work in TRUTH,” not in part.
So much has happened in my life since my last entry. It hasn’t always seemed positive on the surface. But I know, because I love Him, God’s is working all things together for my good. I used to think this journey was my own personal and private issue. But since I answered God’s call, I understand that it truly is all about Him. Some people think that I’m seeking attention or some sick sort of fame. But, I know different. God had to literally drag me out into the open kicking and screaming. Even though I had said yes to the call, my inherent private and somewhat shy nature threatened to hinder my testimony. “But GOD” has a way of turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Since He’s omniscient, He foreknew my fear of public speaking and endowed me, even as a child, with the gift of writing. I can’t help the assumptions people make regarding my motive. The fact is, this is my journey and the only person who can testify to it, is me. This is not an exposé, nor is it to accuse or seek vengeance. I didn’t even want to speak about it for the very reason that I did not want to be perceived as negative or ungrateful. But, because it’s so scripturally accurate, I must testify.
About two months ago, I was kicked out of the homeless shelter where I had been living. In my last entry I wrote that I had been voluntarily working within the organization. Well, that wasn’t altogether true. The work part was exhaustingly true. But it wasn’t altogether voluntary. Which, in and of itself, would not have troubled me, but for the retaliatory intent and subsequent attempted cover-up behind it. The initial agreement was that, like everyone else, I was to receive a stipend for my job assignment. However, my wages were denied after I rejected the advances of one of the supervising Directors. He then accused and maliciously spread word that I had a bad attitude, and then set out to ensure that I would never receive wages. I remained in the situation, frankly, because I did not want to be thrown back onto the streets; as was sometimes threatened. I had also become quite fond of caring for the older ladies as well as serving other homeless people in the soup kitchen. In order to maintain some stability, so that I could get back on track, I simply accepted the situation as part of my calling and took on an attitude of servitude.
Other residents were set against me: I was suddenly being accused and written up for everything from being too quiet when I was sick; to praying too openly during Lenten season. My work was often sabotaged; I was lied on; talked about; my hair was cut off while I was sleeping. For all these things the perpetrators were rewarded with increased stipends, better positions, clothing and better living quarters. Yet, in each situation, I clung to (Is. 54:17) and watched as God blocked their attempts to harm me by allowing them to fall into their own traps. In a couple instances He even placed a couple ladies’ illegal drugs right in my hands, causing leadership to enforce their own rule of automatic eviction:
Scripture Fulfilled
Denied wages (Is. 52:3)
Plotted against, ganged up on (Is. 54:15)
Adversaries fell (Is. 54:17)
Basically enslaved (Is. 49.25)
Put out of the house (Is. 66:5)
I could be bitter about being back on the streets but I know God is using this situation to advance me to the next level of my journey. Is homelessness embarrassing? Yes. But not for the reason you may think. It’s embarrassing to watch as multitudes, many who self-identify as Christian and all who are “human”, walk past those in need. Homelessness is not contagious; but love transcends. Even during our recreational time we can find ways to help the less fortunate: As exemplified by a little boy in San Diego who decided to use Pokémon Go to seek out homeless people; not to mock them or drive them out, as I have, unfortunately, witnessed here. But rather to get food and other resources to them (and a little child shall lead them).
As Americans we sometimes feel justified in looking down our noses at those of lower economic status. After all, we’ve all had the same opportunities, right??? That is until we experience loss or misfortune in our own lives, then we expect the world to stop and tend to our suffering. It’s OK as long as the homeless stay over there, hidden, under a bridge, out of view. We place far too much emphasis on outward appearance rather than lend consideration to what’s beneath the surface. A practice that makes us easily deceived (Is. 50:20). Anybody can look the part; it’s the position one’s heart that matters (James 2:3-4). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you don’t look homeless.” What does that even mean?! Maybe the reason I get so many judgmental and disdainful looks, usually from my own people (also scriptural) once they learn that I am, in fact homeless, is because the very sight of me brings it too close to home: illness, natural disaster or perhaps a paycheck or two and “there but for the grace of God.” ”Get a job already!” Like you, I’ve been guilty of saying that, even to myself. But, to know anything about God is to understand that He will sometimes allow your brook to dry up to “INSPIRE” you to move into the promise for which you were created. That’s just how he does it. Why? Because He’s GOD!
I’m not naive; I know that not all homeless people are doing the right thing. But, that’s true of all walks of life. Not all co-workers or employers are above reproach. As a former Enron employee, I experienced that firsthand. Neither are all friends, family members, church folk or clergy alike, for that matter (Is. 3:14, Matt. 23:3, Is. 56:11). God does not command us to wait until the needy get it together before we help them. Yet, we require a perfection of them that God never required of us (While we were yet sinners Jesus died for us). God says those who hold the world’s goods should not send the needy away saying come back tomorrow, but feed His people, shelter and clothe them. Maybe homelessness is not so much a punishment for some as it is a test for others, to make record of our response . . .
“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home”.
I’m simply saying, “We can do better”. While we’re filling military planes, to the brim, to feed foreign nations; children and elderly in this country go hungry. We rebuilt Iraq but we can’t house homeless Americans, many of whom are Veterans? This country is far too wealthy for any American to ever go hungry or homeless. We have more abandoned buildings and discard more food than most other nations could ever dream of having. Charity begins at home. On an individual level, your generosity could make all the difference in the world to someone who may be struggling to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Perhaps his laces are frayed or maybe he’s in a place where he doesn’t have boots, let alone straps.
“Jesus wept” I can’t even imagine how sad it must make Jesus to see how the homeless are treated with such disregard and disrespect. Yet, we profess to love Jesus, whom himself was homeless, “The Son of man hath no place to lay his head.” I understand that you are busy with your careers. I’ve been there, so has Jesus, he had a career; he was a carpenter (think about that the next time you enter into your home - that’s held together by carpenter’s NAILS). Yet, Jesus somehow found the time to look past our faults and see our need as He was NAILED to the cross in our place.
Please, let not your hearts be hardened, rather submit yourselves to God’s WILL, that He may soften your hearts. The next time you find yourself judging the face of homelessness, consider Serenity. You never know whether there’s a Serenity depending on that homeless face. When I told my daughter about Serenity, I asked her to buy a doll, because every little girl should have a doll of her own. No child should ever have to live on the streets. In fact every child should have the benefit of a beautiful beginning; life generally works out better as a result. I still have the doll because I haven’t seen Serenity and her grandmother in a few weeks. I prayed that God would bless them with a stable home, befitting a little princess. I maintain faith that He has done just that. Like Paul, “I write these things not to shame you; but rather to warn you” (1 Corinthians 4:7-21)
I challenge Mayor Turner. I believe that God reserved yet delayed the Mayor’s office for him, for such a time as this. What an awesome platform upon which to build a worthy legacy.
Who am I to speak this way? I’m the least esteemed among you. (Right Now)
I am eternally grateful for the services provided by the following organizations: St. Paul Episcopal Church (EAC); South Main Baptist Church; Search; The Beacon; Magnificat House; Lord of the Streets. God bless you all. On a more personal level, though at times, I get weak (“They that wait upon the LORD shall RENEW their strength . . .”) God has placed some amazing people along my path to help sustain me by allowing me to use their resources. I can’t list them, for obvious reasons. But, I see you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Moreover, God sees you and He promises to reward you “. . . in good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.” God’s promises are bankable!
There's always a song in my heart, for the last few days that song has been one by my all-time favorite Artist, Donny Hathaway: "Lord We Need You Right Now"
