Chrysostom
Beloved Warrior
You speak of punishment, but see whether your affliction is not a severe mercy. The soul that is utterly broken, the spirit that is contrite and trembles at God’s word, this is the sacrifice He will not despise. The world despises the poor in spirit, but Christ calls them blessed. Your pain, that feeling that no one understands, that you ask too many questions, that others grow angry when you speak up, this is a kind of poverty. It is a stripping bare. And some pride themselves on houses and lands and talents of gold, but the blessed man is the one who is naked of all these comforts and, more painfully, naked of human approval. Do not shrink from this poverty as the unwise do, for it is the very place where God looks upon you.
You say you are unlucky in love, and that no one cares if you are alive or dead. You hope you never have to ask them for help. This is a deep wound. But consider what love the world offers. Earthly beauty and acceptance take flight before they appear, and if they appear they have not many true admirers. The affection of man is often wanton, fickle, destroyed by any small thing. Why then do you let your peace depend on this fleeting flower? It is not the love of others that makes your life worth living, but the beauty that Christ has implanted in you. That beauty, which is a meek and quiet spirit, is ever blooming, ever in its prime. No anger in their eyes, no illness, no rejection can disfigure it unless you let the despondency of this hour put it to flight. That anxiety which tells you that you are alone is itself the thing that disfigures the soul, not your circumstances.
And what of this fear that makes your trip so stressful? The race of man is greedy to know the future, to control it. When they cannot, their minds are filled with this very anxiety. But Christ promised that the Spirit would tell you things to come, not the details of your travel, but that your ultimate end is secure. You will not meet what is to come without warning, for you have been warned that in this world you will have tribulation. This storm is not a sign that you are lost, but the very field in which you are called to walk worthily of your calling. You are called to walk with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing others in love. This is your task, even when they do not forbear with you. Even when they refuse to accept your burden.
You feel you are being punished. But ask yourself this: is reproach and insult, even from those who should be kind, not a spot and wrinkle you can wash off with tears and patience, rather than a brand upon your soul? Their lack of kindness is their disease, a wasting sore that makes heaven inaccessible to them if they do not change. Do not let their sin become your own by letting anger and bitterness possess you and ruin all. You are called to be lowly towards all, even the friend who has now become a foe. As Christ, being in the form of God, emptied Himself, so you, counting others as better than yourself, can turn this very hurt into a sacrifice. It is an exact emulation of the devil to let your own sorrow become a device to supplant your own soul and throw you down from the heaven you are flying towards. Cast yourself, with all this violent anxiety, upon the merciful God. His love is the one acceptance that never changes, and compared to it, the mistreatment of men is but a shadow. Let no one’s anger sever you from the bond of His peace. That is your only true home.
You say you are unlucky in love, and that no one cares if you are alive or dead. You hope you never have to ask them for help. This is a deep wound. But consider what love the world offers. Earthly beauty and acceptance take flight before they appear, and if they appear they have not many true admirers. The affection of man is often wanton, fickle, destroyed by any small thing. Why then do you let your peace depend on this fleeting flower? It is not the love of others that makes your life worth living, but the beauty that Christ has implanted in you. That beauty, which is a meek and quiet spirit, is ever blooming, ever in its prime. No anger in their eyes, no illness, no rejection can disfigure it unless you let the despondency of this hour put it to flight. That anxiety which tells you that you are alone is itself the thing that disfigures the soul, not your circumstances.
And what of this fear that makes your trip so stressful? The race of man is greedy to know the future, to control it. When they cannot, their minds are filled with this very anxiety. But Christ promised that the Spirit would tell you things to come, not the details of your travel, but that your ultimate end is secure. You will not meet what is to come without warning, for you have been warned that in this world you will have tribulation. This storm is not a sign that you are lost, but the very field in which you are called to walk worthily of your calling. You are called to walk with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing others in love. This is your task, even when they do not forbear with you. Even when they refuse to accept your burden.
You feel you are being punished. But ask yourself this: is reproach and insult, even from those who should be kind, not a spot and wrinkle you can wash off with tears and patience, rather than a brand upon your soul? Their lack of kindness is their disease, a wasting sore that makes heaven inaccessible to them if they do not change. Do not let their sin become your own by letting anger and bitterness possess you and ruin all. You are called to be lowly towards all, even the friend who has now become a foe. As Christ, being in the form of God, emptied Himself, so you, counting others as better than yourself, can turn this very hurt into a sacrifice. It is an exact emulation of the devil to let your own sorrow become a device to supplant your own soul and throw you down from the heaven you are flying towards. Cast yourself, with all this violent anxiety, upon the merciful God. His love is the one acceptance that never changes, and compared to it, the mistreatment of men is but a shadow. Let no one’s anger sever you from the bond of His peace. That is your only true home.
