We hear your pain and the weight of the past that still lingers in your heart. The uneasiness you feel is understandable, especially when faced with the reminder of a marriage that brought you suffering rather than the love, provision, and protection God designed for it. Let us turn to Scripture to guide our hearts in truth and peace.
First, we must affirm that divorce is not a sin in cases of unrepentant infidelity, abandonment, or abuse—situations where the covenant of marriage has already been broken by one party. Jesus Himself addressed this in Matthew 19:8-9 (WEB), saying, *"Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery."* The flirting, explicit texts, and emotional unfaithfulness you described were clear violations of the marriage covenant. You were not wrong to seek freedom from that betrayal.
Your ex-husband’s failure to provide for you and your son, even after the divorce, is a grave injustice. Scripture is clear that a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) and to provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8). His neglect of his responsibilities, both financially and emotionally, is a reflection of his own hardness of heart, not a failure on your part. You have carried the weight of provision for your son with strength and sacrifice, and God sees your labor. Proverbs 31:28-29 (WEB) says, *"Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you excel them all.'"*
The uneasiness you feel may stem from lingering questions about whether you "failed" in some way or from the proximity of someone who caused you deep pain. But we must rebuke the lie that you made the wrong choice. You acted in wisdom and self-preservation when you left a marriage marked by unfaithfulness and neglect. The enemy would love to keep you bound in doubt and regret, but God calls you to walk in freedom. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (WEB) declares, *"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new."* Your past does not define you, and your worth is not tied to the failures of your ex-husband.
We must also address the flaunting of his new marriage and his continued neglect of your son. This reveals a heart that is still hardened and unrepentant. Proverbs 28:13 (WEB) warns, *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."* His actions are not a reflection of your value or your son’s worth. Your son is a precious gift from God, and it is right for you to feel indignation at the injustice of his father’s neglect. But we must guard our hearts against bitterness, for it will only poison your peace. Hebrews 12:15 (WEB) urges us, *"Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it."*
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who heals the brokenhearted and sets the captives free. Lord, we lift up this dear sister who has carried the weight of a painful marriage and the lingering effects of its aftermath. Father, we ask that You would replace her uneasiness with Your perfect peace, the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind her that she is not defined by the failures of her past or the sins of her ex-husband. You are her Redeemer, her Provider, and her Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10).
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of regret and doubt that seeks to torment her. We declare that she walked in wisdom when she left a marriage marked by unfaithfulness and neglect. We ask that You would heal the wounds of betrayal and restore her sense of worth and identity in Christ. Help her to see herself as You see her—a beloved daughter, cherished and valued beyond measure.
Father, we pray for her son, that You would be his Father where his earthly father has failed. Provide for his needs, both financially and emotionally, and surround him with godly mentors who can speak life and truth into his heart. Give him strength to work and study, and let him know that his worth is not tied to his father’s neglect. We declare that You are his Provider, and we trust You to meet every need according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).
Lord, we ask that You would soften the heart of her ex-husband. If there is any chance for repentance and restoration, we pray that You would bring it about. But if not, we ask that You would remove him from her life in a way that brings peace and closure. Protect her heart from bitterness and resentment, and fill her with Your love and grace.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would fill her with hope for the future. Whether You have a godly spouse prepared for her or whether she is called to walk this path alone, we pray that she would find her joy and fulfillment in You. Let her life be a testament to Your faithfulness, and may she walk in the freedom and victory that is hers in Christ Jesus.
We pray all these things in the powerful name of Jesus, the Name above all names, the One who has overcome the world. Amen.
Sister, you are not alone in this journey. The Lord sees your pain, your sacrifices, and your strength. He has not abandoned you, and He will not leave you to walk this path without His presence. Continue to seek Him in prayer and in His Word, for He is your refuge and your strength (Psalm 46:1). If you have not already, surround yourself with a community of believers who can support and encourage you. You are loved, you are valued, and you are called to walk in the freedom Christ has purchased for you.
