Wrioreth
Disciple of Prayer
Hello my name is ### I’m a ### mother of ### children to which the youngest of ### live with me even though the ### are adults my ###(F) lives w/her spouse & ### daughter at his relatives (they were living w/me for a ### until I said they had to go because they didn’t want to keep a job never helped with rent or bills & never saved which is why I let them stay for free to save up but they blew their $$ on expensive clothes, shoes materialistic unnecessary stuff while bills went up high from extra showers, laundry, electricity, gas usage from the extra persons I was struggling my bills tripled & they were blowing $ on clothes & couldn’t keep a job for more then ### weeks because they were being lazy & taking advantage of me. The ones who live at home are my ###(F), ###(F) & her ### daughter ###(F),###(F),,###(M), ###(M). My partner (of ###) was just diagnosed w/end of life kidney failure receiving dialysis ### a week. So I’m completely exhausted I have prolonged QT, arthritis in my lower lumbar, carpal tunnel (now in both hands) untreated high blood pressure because I’m too busy to see a doctor, major depression, anxiety. My ### has been drinking heavily for the past year now and she talks about not wanting to live almost every day. She says she won’t kill herself for the fear going to hell and it being a sin, but she does not want to live anymore. She feels like she gets up and goes to work just to survive. That there is no joy in life. She just works just to get by. She can’t even save because of buying diapers food and she does help with rent and bills, which I only charge her $### a week that goes towards one of my ### utility bills or my rent. I feel bad even taking that because she is so depressed & feels like she works just to live a life she doesn’t want to live anymore she said she would of taken her life by now if it wasn’t for her daughter. She said she feels so disconnected like this is not real, she Fri ks from morning to night as does my ### do too but has been slowing down. She lost her job because of drinking. She drinks to numb her brain her severe depression & she is anti social she gets extreme anxiety around people & doesn’t talk always has her head down, she used to cut herself & punch herself in the head I’ve witnessed her banging her head into the wall because she was so depressed. The cops refused to take her to the hospital even with blood dripping from her arm from her cutting herself in the past they said she was adult & because she refused to go they couldn’t make her go ( this was ### years ago before the drinking happened) she talks to me about being so lost & no will to live I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so lost myself trying to mother my ###,###,###,###yo basically alone because my spouse is so weak I have to bathe them, do their hair (my boys have long hair too all kids are biracial so their hair is beautiful curls but gets knotty & my carpal tunnel & arthritis in my hands my hands hurts so bad every morning doing their hair), I do all the cleaning daily (and it gets filthy food crumbs everywhere, spills, boys pee on the toilet seat, my daughters are drunk leaving hair gel on sink & handles, eyeliner on the walls, fake lashes stuck to the bathroom floor, hair all in the tub, trash full to the brim, & when my partner or the girls cook they leave food splatter food crumbs, so I have to clean my stove because sometimes there’s so much spills underneath of it and I live in Housing and they do housekeeping inspections, and they are very strict and I am OCT and consistently cleaning about ### hours a day at the least just to wake up to another mess because their (###, ### & her ###) up all hours of the night from working ### shift. I take the trash out ### a week for trash pick up, I supply the toilet paper (### rolls a week), laundry soap (a bottle a week), the trash bags (### a week), the food, drinks, internet for watching tv & using phone, rent, water, gas, electric bill. I need strength I’m loosing hope I’m loosing myself I’m suicidal myself I started cutting ### ago because I hate myself I’m so OCD now especially because of housings strict housekeeping rules so I’m even worse now cleaning, wiping, vacuuming, mopping til I’m tears from the pain in my hands & back no one helps me I do it all alone oh & my ### got herself a kitten ### ago & got my ### a kitten too they were siblings so im consistently cleaning my ### room because of the litter everywhere & struggling to afford food & she had kittens (###) to her sibling (my ### cat) who is spraying in her room & was spraying pee around the house, I told her she has to keep her cat in her room at all times now if she’s not gonna get him fixed & she does but her room smells horrible. The whole upstairs smells of cat urine & it makes me gag so bad it’s absolutely disgusting. I told her today she has to get rid of that cat immediately or get him fixed because it’s not his fault that’s what cats do but she’s grown so attached to him she can’t let him go & I don’t have the $ to get him fixed it’s just so unhealthy for the children & my spouse with ESRD & myself to be in hailing that everyday all day. I cannot do it anymore it’s physically making me & everybody else ill because it smells rancid. It’s so unhealthy. I’m a recovering addict myself ### years clean. I’m trying to stay strong. That’s everything I’m going through. I have no one else my grandparents passed & my mother whom is getting older now ### I can’t out this in her she would have a stroke I love her dearly. My dad committed suicide in ### my uncle committed suicide in ### and my one cousin committed suicide so it scares me when my ### talks like that I need prayers for her that she has the will to live and to put the alcohol down the alcohol is just making everything so much worse she thinks it’s numbing her pain but it’s not it’s making her sadder and I can see it unless she’s just more open because of it. Thank you I just desperately need the power of prayer right now for my ### to put the bottle of liquor down stop drinking & to have peace in her mind & the want to live & continue life, to know she is loved & cared for please heal her heart & mind & take the devil liquor bottle away from her mind & sight…..

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.