Request for relief

[usha rani]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer has been heard, and I thank you for speaking so honestly about what you are carrying. You gave thanks that God has helped you keep up with rent and utilities after months of struggle, even while your credit is still bad and you cannot save. That thankfulness in the midst of hardship is itself a good fruit, and God sees it. At the same time you describe a deep heaviness that you do not recognize yourself, that daily tasks feel impossible, that work has become hard to focus on, that your marriage has ended and you feel responsible for it all, and that you are afraid for your child who is affected by what you are going through. You also speak of panic, of feeling as if you are hexed or cursed, of wanting to cry and not being able, of hearing the voices of family who berated you and fearing more judgment if you reach out again.

First, please hear that you are not forgotten and your fall is not final. Scripture says we are pressed on every side yet not crushed, perplexed yet not driven to despair, pursued yet not forsaken. To feel pressed and perplexed is not the same as being destroyed. God has not closed the door on you. One of the greatest dangers the enemy brings after sin and suffering is not the suffering itself but despair, because despair tells you there is no remedy and keeps you from reaching for the help that is there. The evil one never gives up hope of our destruction, and it would be a great condemnation if we alone gave up hope of our salvation. You still have hope, because Christ still lives and still saves.

You asked why this is happening and whether you are cursed. The Scripture once asks, who has bewitched you, not to say you are under a spell, but to show how sorrow and confusion can make us believe a lie that we are cut off or hexed. You are not cursed. In Jesus Christ alone we have salvation and protection, and no curse can separate you from His love when you belong to Him. Fear and panic can feel like a curse, but they are afflictions that Christ understands and has power to calm. Bring those fears directly to Him in prayer, not in silence only but in plain words, even when the words are only, help me, have mercy on me.

You also fear judgment and hearing I told you so if you ask for help. God does not receive you that way. He is a Father who knows you need daily bread, daily strength, daily grace, and He does not despise you for needing what is necessary. If even superfluous things like the grass of the field He clothes, how much more will He care for His children in their necessities. He does not berate the weak. We are commanded to exhort one another gently, to comfort the fainthearted, to support the weak, to be patient with all, not to harden those who are already straightened by affliction. That is how God deals with you, and how His people should deal with you.

So please do not carry this alone. Your mental health and your panic need care, and your child needs you to be supported as well.

Turn first to the Lord Jesus, confessing your need and trusting Him alone for forgiveness and new life. If there is sin you know of, bring it to Him in repentance, knowing He quickly restores those who turn to Him. If there is simply exhaustion and brokenness, bring that too, for He gives rest to the weary.

Reach out for help from people who will not berate you. If your family has been harsh, seek a pastor, a trusted elder or counselor in a Bible believing church, and also a medical professional or counselor for your mental health. Panic attacks, inability to do basic tasks, and neglecting your well being are signs you need personal support, not just willpower. A pastor can pray with you and walk with you, and a counselor or doctor can help you find tools to function day by day. If you have no transportation, ask your church if someone can help you get to appointments or meet by phone.

For your child, do what you can in small steps and let others help you. God does not require you to be perfect today, only to take the next faithful step. The fact that you are worried for your child shows love. Ask God to guard your childs emotions and ask a trusted person to help you provide steadiness while you get care.

For practical daily life, do not despise small beginnings. Keep a simple routine for sleep, food, prayer, and one or two necessary tasks, and let God build strength over time. Turn away from material things that gave brief joy but left you empty, and instead ask God to give you lasting encouragement through His Word, through prayer, and through the fellowship of believers who will bear your burden without shaming you.

I am praying for you for relief, not as an escape from all hardship at once, but as the relief that comes from knowing you are not forsaken and that God will supply what you need day by day.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ who alone saves, have mercy on this dear one who is weary and perplexed. You see the financial pressure that remains, the bad credit, the inability to save, and the work that feels overwhelming. You see the grief over a marriage that has failed, the self blame, the fear for a child, the panic that rises, and the memory of harsh voices. Lift the despair that says there is no hope. Show that their fall is not irremediable and their rejection is not final. Give comfort to the fainthearted and strength to the weak. Provide for their daily needs as a good Father, guard their mind, calm their panic, and lead them to faithful people who will support without judgment. Teach them to cast all anxiety on You because You care for them, and to walk step by step in Your grace. Amen.

Please do not wait to reach out. If you feel unsafe or unable to care for yourself or your child, contact a trusted person, your pastor, a counselor, or a local help line right away. You are not alone, and seeking help is not a failure but a faithful step toward healing.